How to Write a Speech by EDWARD J. HEGARTY

McGraw -Hill Book Company, Inc.
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HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Copyright, 1951, by iMcGraw-Hill Book Company, Inc. All
rights in this book are reserved. It may not be used for dra -
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Department, 330 West 42d Stre et, New York 18, New York.
THIRD PRINTING
Published by the McGraw -Hill Book Company, Inc.
Printed in the United States of America
This book is dedicated to everyone who has
ever been called upon to say a few words
Preface: Why—How to Write a Speech
Anybody can deliver a speech. Men prove that every day. They
stand up on their feet, and they say what they want to say. If
a man fears he can't make a speech, he can take a short course
in public speaking and almost immediately he will acquire the
ability to rise and give out with words of wisdom or what not.
But few men can write a speech. That's why you hear so many
inept speeches. Go to church on Sunday, to your service club,
your trade association, to any business meeting, and you hear
speakers who have spent time and effort in preparing a speech.
Yet they don't interest you. They talk loud enough. They have
the voice, the presence, the words, but they don't know how to
put those words together in a way to arouse your interest.
You hear a man make a speech for a cause in which you are
interested, but the way the fellow puts the appeal just about
breaks your heart. It isn't that he can't make a talk. He simply
doesn't know how to make his talk interesting.
Then you hear a man who isn't a good talker, talking about a
cause in which you have no interest. Yet he holds your interest
for twenty or thirty minutes or an hour. His voice lacks volume;
it squeaks; he has no presence—nothing to hold you but his mes-
sage. Yet he holds your interest through the whole talk.
What is the difference? One knew how to write a speech—the
other didn't.
Now most of the bad speeches you hear have good material.
The speakers have put hours into assembling the data. Properly
handled, this material could be made into an interesting talk. But
these speakers just don't know how to handle speech material
properly.
vii
viii PREFACE: WHY—HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
The suggestions in this book are assembled to give you a for-
mula for writing a talk. It is a formula that good speakers use. It
is one that will help you write a speech that audiences will like.
The ideas presented come from listening to speakers—not a
few, but hundreds of them. They are the result of a busy note-
book. I hear what the speaker says. I analyze the speech construc -
tion. I watch the speaker's stunt or his bit of audience participa-
tion. As each unfolds I note what he does and the effect on the
audience. These effects are reported here. These pages explain
how good speakers get effects with groups. It is my idea—
naive perhaps—that if the average speaker would follow the tech-
niques of the successful speaker, audiences would applaud better
speeches.
EDWARD J. HEGARTY
Contents
Preface: Why —How to Write a Speech vii
Introduction xi
1
i. Get Off the High Horse
4
2. Write a Synopsis
11
3. Lay It Out on Paper
16
4. Now You Need a Plan of Presentation
28
5. Their Interest, Not Yours
38
6. Write It to Joe
41
7. Use Your Own Words
50
8. Spoken, Not Written, Language
60
9. Write It in Units
71
10. Write the End First
11. Start with a Smile 79
81
12. Once upon a Time
88
13. Sprinkle with Conversation
95
14. Bring in News, but Local News
104
15. Talk about People
in
16. Don't Slight Your Possessions
120
17. Dramatize Some Points
128
18. Needle Your Facts
140
19. Now Let's Check the Script
141
20. Check for Variety
149
21. Cut Out the "We's"
ix
X CONTENTS
22. Check for Clarity 155
23. Is It Specific? 162
24. Shorten the Long Sentences 171
25. Trim the Wordage 181
26. Let's Check the Big Words 191
27. Throw Out the Cliche 200
28. Are You Using Questions? 211
29. Other Checks You Might Make 219
30. It Isn't Easy, Mister 221
Index 223
Introduction
I was sitting in the club car rolling out of Chicago bound for
home, a six-hour ride ahead of me. I had just attended a meeting
—four days of speeches and planned presentations. In the thirty-
six talks there was one good speech—one that listeners would
like—one in thirty-six—less than 3 per cent. That is not a good
average. In those talks there was good material, plenty of it. Some
men were working with material that could have made excellent
speeches. The notebook that I leafed through as I sat on the train
proved this fact. And I was surprised, too, at the notes I had
taken, for I had never been much of a note taker. But in this case
I had written notes and comments on each speech—what was
wrong with it, what was right.
Before the meeting all the speakers had done a lot of work in
preparing their presentations. And it was a shame to see all of
their work wasted. Each person meant for his presentation to be
good, of course. With the amount of work, each should have
been good. Some of the men read their talks. It so happened that
not one of them knew how to read a speech. Others talked with
charts or other exhibits in a way that left much to be desired.
Others just talked. But it so happened that out of thirty-six talks
only one was good. Now why was that? Well, my conclusion as
I analyzed my notes was this: These speakers didn't know how
to write good speeches.
I turned the notebook over, started to write on the back of
the pages the headings under which I could give advice on how
to write a good speech. I tried to organize a formula which, if
applied to all the talks I had heard, would have made every one
xi
xii INTRODUCTION
of them good. When I reached home, which was a little over
three hundred miles away, I had outlined twenty-six chapters for
this book. I took that train ride three years ago. Since then I've
been attending meetings, listening to speeches, making notes. I've
been making speeches myself, cutting and trying. In these past
three years a number of chapters have been added to the original
outline, and a number checked out.
As I listen and make notes I have become convinced that the
trouble with speeches is in the writing. Men who give speeches
just don't know how to write scripts that are to be spoken.
There's a difference between written language and spoken lan-
guage—a big difference. Most speakers don't know this. There
are certain rules to hold interest, but speakers seem to ignore
them. There are rules to make dull material interesting; to a great
army of speakers these are unknown. All of these rules are simple.
Most good speakers follow them knowingly or unknowingly.
Yet it's strange how few of the average speakers know them or
remember them or put them to use.
In these pages I have attempted to put down those rules for
that average speechmaker. Each chapter lists suggestions that will
help the average speaker make his material more interesting to
the audience that is going to hear it. So remember, this is written
for the average speechmaker. The expert may get some sugges-
tions from it, but the average man should profit most. This is a
plan for organizing your material, for making it interesting, for
getting it down on paper, and then for checking it. Then just for
added measure, you might find some suggestions for using it. But
the latter is not the purpose of this book. The purpose is to tell
you how to write a speech. So let's get on with the telling.
How to Write a Speech I. Get Off the High Horse
You're going to write a speech. And you're scared to death. Sure,
I know you're not afraid of the speechmaking. Spouting it out is
comparatively easy; in fact, it may be fun. But writing—ah! That
is another story.
But relax, and let's talk about it. Push aside the paper and
pencil, or if you are planning to dictate your speech, tell Miss
What's-Her-Name to come back later. Somehow this invitation
to make a speech puffs you up like a gas balloon. Why, I don't
know. You're the same person you were before you took the
phone call or read the letter. The ideas you will present to these
people will be the same old two-by-two's that you've been giving
the barber and the bartender. There is nothing startling or revo-
lutionary about these ideas. Well, if you are the same person with
the same ideas, what's the sense of getting puffed up?
So let's deflate and discuss why they asked you to make this
speech. I don't mean what they told you in the invitation—let's
go into the real why. Is it because Whosis is the program chairman,
and he knows you or has heard of you? Or maybe somebody has
asked your manager in Fort Worth, and he tried to think of
somebody and sold you to them. Or perhaps they've got twenty-
seven turndowns and in desperation they are grabbing at you.
Most invitations are like that. So let's not get puffed up over the
bid.
Then let's consider what they want. Well, they want you to
talk for twenty or thirty minutes. They hope you will be good,
but they have their ringers crossed. They want you to tell them
something, or to sell them something, and they hope you'll do it
1
2 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
in a lively, amusing, and interesting manner that keeps them awake.
But they're not too hopeful. They have been stung again and again,
and here they are stuck with you and they hope for the best.
Don't let any of the externals of this invitation confuse you.
Perhaps they did ask for a biographical sketch and your photo.
They told you they want to run them in the local newspapers,
but don't let that fool you. They need the publicity to get a
crowd at the meeting. Then, too, the chairman may have men-
tioned that little cocktail session before the meeting. But that, too,
is custom.
So let's be cold in our analysis of this bid to you. Perhaps the
picture is not too flattering, but it's the McCoy. I've been on
both sides. I've been the committee, and I've been the guest speaker,
and I know. I'm bringing it to you to deflate you, to puncture your
pomposity, so that you'll get off the high horse. For I know that if
I get you down to the realities at the start, I'll do you a big favor
and I'll do your audience a big favor.
Why do I bother to blot out this picture you have of yourself
as a guest speaker? Well, I've done a lot of ghostwriting—put-
ting together speeches for others to give. An associate asks you
to write a speech for him. You discuss the subject matter, the occa-
sion, the group, and you write it. You bring it in, and he reads
it, slowly, carefully. Then he clears his throat. "This is good, but
I wonder if it has the dignity I should have in addressing this
group?"
You feel like saying "Nuts," but he's the boss, or an associate
you don't want to offend. You realize that he's not considering
this speech as he should. That he's pouted up like a pigeon and
he won't be happy until he has added to the script a number of dig-
nified words, preferably those of seven letters, words which are
not his, which he may have trouble pronouncing and with which
he isn't too familiar.
I'm sure you have heard the story of the toastmaster who in-
troduced the speaker of the evening. He told about the wonder-
ful scholastic and business record of the speaker, he covered the
man's history back to his boyhood, he mentioned his fine mother
GET OFF THE HIGH HORSE 3
and his Christian upbringing, he pictured himself as a boyhood
friend of the speaker, and then he turned to the man sitting next
to him and whispered, "What's this guy's name, anyway?"
And yet many times when you deliver a speech you have written
yourself, the fellow who knows you, the boy who grew up with
you, your best pal, your closest companion, your buddy asks that
same question, "Who is this guy, anyway?" And they go further
than that. They wonder also, "How does he get that way?" "Who
does he think he is?"
Now in making a good speech, I want you to think of you as
yourself. Not someone else in your Sunday suit, with your smile,
up there playing a part, trying to impress the audience with his
erudition or to confound it with his wisdom. I want you to think
of you as yourself—a regular guy, sounding off before a group of
regular guys.
Let's start with that premise. We're not going to step out of
character for an instant. We're going to write a talk in the most
natural way we know. We're not going to dress up our remarks in
Sunday language. We're not going to try to make an impression.
We'll concentrate on getting over our message in an interesting
way.
Always when you set out to prepare a speech, your first obstacle
is to get yourself off the high horse and down to earth. So take a
deep breath, relax, and I'll tell you how to write a good speech.
2_. Write a Synopsis
The first thing to do about your speech is to write a synopsis. Don't
start on what the speechmakers call "the first draft." Write your-
self a note explaining what you are trying to do with this speech,
and then put down on paper an outline of how you are going to do
the job.
What do I mean by a synopsis? Here's a formula.
1. A statement of your purpose or objective. What are you
trying to do in this talk—to amuse, to instruct, to sell an
idea? Write it down.
2. A statement of the philosophy of the talk. What will the
group get out of it? Why is it to their benefit to listen to it?
Write that out.
3. An outline of the points that you will cover in making the
talk. These should be directed at your objective and should
be in line with your philosophy.
4. A short summation of the points that you will leave with
them. Remember that they can't remember a long list of
points. Make this list short—three or four are about right.
The first part of the synopsis should be a statement of purpose.
What is your purpose? To help old Charlie, who has been stuck
with this meeting and needs a speaker? No, not that one. Is it to
inform, to entertain, to persuade? Perhaps it's a bit of all those
things. But write out that purpose—get down on paper what you
are trying to do.
Now that is difficult. It is easier to start writing. But you will
save time and effort if you clarify your purpose in a sentence or
4
WRITE A SYNOPSIS 5
two or three. How do you write that purpose? Well, let's illustrate.
I have a speech, a hardy perennial that has stood the test of hot
nights in smoke-filled rooms. The speech is called "How to Run a
Sales Meeting." I have done it fifty to sixty times before groups of
22 to 1500. Never yet has it failed me. So let's use it as an example.
Here is how the purpose of that speech could be written.
PURPOSE —This speech is to be given to sales, sales promotion, and
advertising managers. It will give them suggestions as to how to
run better sales meetings. It will explain what a meeting is and give
suggestions on room arrangement, talks, use of visual aids, timing,
how to avoid the common mistakes, and how to build a good
ending.
Note that I have described the audience in that first paragraph.
That's helpful. I do this same speech for general audiences and I
have to change certain illustrations which are quite familiar to sales
groups but might be confusing to a general audience.
As you read that paragraph describing the purpose of this speech
you can see that such a statement of your objective will help keep
you on the track. So first in this synopsis comes a statement of
purpose.
Next I try to write out a paragraph that states the philosophy of
the talk. This is my analysis of what warrants my audience listening
to me for ten, twenty, or thirty minutes. I try to put down what
they will get out of it.
PHILOSOPHY —Most of the training of salesmen is done in sales
meetings. If my suggestions will help these men put on better sales
meetings, the salesmen of their companies will be better trained.
If the salesmen are better trained, they will sell more manufactured
goods and so more employees will be kept working in the factories.
With the purpose and the philosophy down on paper, my own
thinking is clarified. Now comes the third part of the synopsis—
listing the points to be covered. My procedure is to put down first
the headings of the subjects. Then under each heading I list points
that might be covered under that heading. In doing this don't
worry about wording or the order of the points.
6 HOW TO WRITE A SP EECH
Pick up the tube of that dictating machine, call in Miss What's-
Her-Name, or get a piece of paper and a pencil. Then start dictat-
ing or writing.
The man told you what they wanted you to talk about, or you
suggested a subject. He told you how much time you had. OK,
that's enough. Dictate or write all the ideas you have on the subject
as quickly as you can. Don't worry about having too little or too
much. Put down in a hurry everything you think of.
Why fast? Well, if you stop to think, you are lost. Don't con-
sider whether or not you will say this or that or can say this or that,
or whether or not the boss will approve. That's what makes speech
writing such a chore for most persons. They put down an idea and
then scratch it out. That leaves them exactly where they started.
So do this fast. What you want is a list of ideas that you might use.
When you have it all down you can go back and revise. To show
you what I mean I will write out the synopsis of the talk, "How to
Run a Sales Meeting." Because this talk has been done a number of
times, the synopsis might be more finished than your first try.
First we need a sheet of paper, then a headline like this:
SYNOPSIS OF TALK --- HOW TO RUN A SALES MEETING
PURPOSE —This speech is to be given to sales, sales promotion, and
advertising managers. It will give them some suggestions as to how
to run better sales meetings. It will explain what a meeting is and
give suggestions on room arrangement, talks, use of visual aids,
timing, on how to avoid common mistakes, and on how to build
a good ending.
PHILOSOPHY—Most of the training of salesmen is done in sales meet-
ings. If my suggestions will help these persons put on better sales
meetings, the salesmen of their companies will be better trained.
If salesmen are better trained, the salesmen will sell more manu-
factured goods and so more employees will be kept working in
the factories.
OUTLINE—Now comes the outline. What are the points to be cov -
ered in this talk? Here are the headings with a short explanation
of what is to be covered under each heading.
WRITE A SYNOPSIS 7
1. Definition—What a sales meeting is —a group sale. Make one
talk or presentation and you sell a group. Not a mechanical job
—a mental one. Most meetings are dull because men think of
them as a mechanical job—Joe does this, Pete does this, and
so on.
2. Setting up the Room—Selecting the room, what to try for, the
theater arrangement, back to the wall, the entrance back of the
audience, elevator story, chairs facing away from the windows,
Pittsburgh story, no assistant behind you, get out the chairman,
St. Paul story, man trying to light pipe with cigarette lighter,
Milwaukee story, the head table—move it out.
3. Variety—Why they should try for variety —the vaudeville
show, ball of fire, pail of water—the fallacy of saying our meet
ings have to be pretty much alike, the meeting-a-day-for-thirty-
days example. Keep them awake with variety.
4. Holding Interest with the Talk —What to put in the talk to
make it interesting. The anecdote, gossip, news, people, lan
guage, dramatizing what you say.
5. Audience Participation—We like to sing in the movies, a show
of hands, getting them to say something, the advantage of hav
ing them repeat, why your instructions should be specific, the
exercise, the roaster story.
6. Don't Compete -with Anything—Why they shouldn't compete
with anything when they talk—a waiter in the hotel dining
room, the secretary to the boss, the outside disturbances, those
inside the hall, how to handle both. The competition that the
speaker sets up for h imself, the product he passes out to the
audience, the printed matter, the assistant working in the audi
ence.
7. Using Charts—The janitor story, keep them covered, watch
your position when talking from them, get enough light, spot
light, standing with a spotlight, don't study them, vary the in
troduction, practice using them.
8. Fumbling—Why the leader in the meeting should always be an
expert, some examples, fumbling with notes, mention of time,
admitting you don't know, depreciating, apologizing, hunting
for props, handling yourself, small fellow reaching, suspenders,
spectacles either on or off, practice using anything, leaning on
lectern-table.
8 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
9. Don't Rely on Humorous Stories—Why the funny story is not
too good for the sales meeting. How stories can be used, to get the
audience relaxed, the Marsh story. Experience with small boy
telling stories, memorize and rehearse, use of story to make a point,
the three-story plan that will get laughs. 10. End in High—Most
meetings seem to piddle out. The story of the man without an idea
called upon by the chairman, what to do in such a case, the three-
step ending, planning the end first.
THE SUMMATION —Now comes the summing up. What three or
four points will you cover in the ending? In this talk these tie in
with what has gone before. They are:
1. Salesmen are trained in sales meetings.
2. Better meetings mean better trained salesmen.
3. Better trained salesmen mean more sales.
As you look over this synopsis you may see how it can help you
in writing your speech. My thought is that as you get down on
paper some ideas of what you are to say, other ideas come to you.
By organizing the subject under headings, you can write down any
new idea that pops up under the heading to which it belongs. Usu-
ally you have some time to think about your speech, and it is a good
idea to jot down any idea that comes to you. Write it on a piece of
paper and then transfer it to the outline under the proper heading.
It is through these additions that your speech takes on life. A taxi
driver says something, your secretary lets off with a word of wis-
dom, there's an item in the news—any or all may be speech material.
Fail to make notes and they are lost to the world, to you, and to
your speech.
Please remember that the synopsis is only the start. Your first
attempt doesn't need to be complete. Get down what you can think
of now, and you will be surprised at how the subject matter will
grow. You won't need padding; you'll be throwing away before
you are finished.
In your first attempt the headings may not be in the final order.
A study of the material available under each heading will help
WRITE A SYNOPSIS 9
determine the order. Under certain ones you will have better
speech material than under others. When you have analyzed the
material you have, you may want to shift the headings so that the
interest will be spread more evenly all through the speech. Let's
say one part of the subject has little live-speech material in it. Then
that part might be sandwiched in between two live parts.
In this talk, "How to Run a Sales Meeting," I have experimented
with changing the parts. One change I tried was to reverse the last
two parts, do the "End in High" sequence, and then follow with
the "Don't Rely on Humorous Stories." My thinking was that this
last sequence, in which I demonstrate how to tell funny stories to
get laughs, would be a better ending. After two attempts I went
back to the order given in the synopsis.
But let's examine those headings again.
1. The definition
2. Setting up the room
3. Variety
4. Interest them
5. Audience participation
6. Don't compete with anything
7. Using charts
8. Fumbling
9. Don't rely on humorous stories
10. End in high
As you look over the list, it is easy to see that except for 1, 2, 9,
and 10, the remainder could be placed in almost any order. And
that is what happened in the original organization of the speech.
It is the same with the speech you are writing. If you shuffle the
elements nobody but you will know that the shuffling has been
done.
As you work on the talk there will probably be more change in
the outline than in the purpose, the philosophy, or the summation,
but as you continue these may change some too. By writing your-
self a note in the synopsis, by telling yourself what you are going to
10 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
do, how you are going to do it, and what you hope to accomplish,
you save yourself time.
So you write a synopsis. And what do you include in it?
1. Your purpose or objective.
2. A statement of the philosophy of the talk.
3. An outline of the points that you will cover in reaching that
objective.
4. A short summation of the points that you will leave with them.
But you don't get into the real job of organizing this opus until
you tackle the next step in this process. So let's get on with that.
3. Lay It Out on Paper
Now that we have a synopsis, the next step is to lay out the speech
on paper. Let's put it on one sheet where we can look at all of it at
one time. It is difficult to consider the parts of a talk when they are
on different sheets of paper, but when the parts are on one sheet,
you can look, analyze, consider, and shift around to your heart's
content. Just take a sheet of ordinary-size letter paper and mark it
off in squares. I usually use a larger piece of paper so that I will
have larger squares and can write more on each one.
The illustration below shows how such a layout will look
when you have the paper squared off and have written the notes
from your synopsis on the squares. Since this is a how-to talk, the
subjects can be handled in almost any order; they have been marked
on the sheet in the order given in the synopsis. The numbers in the
upper right-hand corners of the squares indicate the order in which
the subjects were listed in the synopsis.
With the subjects so laid out you can check for complete cov-
erage. Have you listed all the points that should be covered? If not,
what points should be brought in? Write these in one of the
spare squares and indicate by arrows where they belong in the
talk.
After I had studied the material shown on the layout on the
following page, the order was changed to the order indicated by
the numbers in the upper left-hand corners of the squares. This shift
in sequence was made because some of the parts had better speech
material than others, and the shift scattered the high points through-
out the talk.
"What about logical order?" you ask. I'm trying to tell you how
11
HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
12
OUTLINE—HOW TO RUN A SALES MEETING
3. VAR I E T Y 4. I N T E R E S T
1.DEFINITION 2. T H E R O O M
What it is The story-Cleveland
Selecting room Vaudeville
Group sale Theatre arrangement Gossip-Winchell
Ball of fire
Mechanical vs. Entrance - News-vitamized
Pail of water
cooking
Milwaukee Chairs
mental Meetings too much
Assistant Chairman- Language-proverbs
alike
St. Paul Head table Dramatizing
30 days of
meetings People
Keep awake Indian story
6.C O M P E T I T I O N
5 .A U D I E N C E 7.C H A R T S 8 .U M B L I N G
Secretary- Waiter
Singing -Show of Janitor
Expert-notes-ms-
Boston story
hands —Greeting Covered-Position cards -charts. Time-
Assistant-Outside the Light-Spotlight
Repeating a slogan Depreciating
band- The Canton story
Specific instructions Apologizing
disturbances—Long Studying -Var y the
Exercises to awaken Suspenders Spectacles
Branch 6tory Printed introduction-This is
them** The roaster Leaning on lectern
matter Samples supposed to show
story Hunting -Baltimore
Practice
story-Practice
10. E N D
9. HUMOR 1 Train men to put
.
on better mtgs.
Why the funny story Don t let it die out -
Recess before end 2. You'll hove
is no good Use of
story-Relax the Write end first Story better salesmen
audience or speaker of man called on who sell more
without idea 3 step goods
Small boy story
ending finally in
Memorizing Proctice
3. You'll keep more
conclusion
the 3 story idea
men working in
your factory
to write an interesting speech—with the points in the order that
will make the best speech. The trouble with most speeches is that
the high points are bunched at one place and are followed by a long
stretch of dead material. The usual practice is to throw the high
points at the audience, one, two, three, four; then the lesser points;
and finally the and-so-forths. The elements may be arranged in
LAY IT OUT ON PAPER 13
the logical order of importance, but I'm sure you'll agree that if
you reversed the order, started with the and-so-forths, and wound
up with the high points, you'd make a better speech.
My plan is to arrange these highs and lows so that you have good
speech material on every page of the manuscript. In a good talk
you want some new development at least every two or three
minutes. Such organization helps hold attention for you. While you
can't do all your organizing when you first lay out your talk on
paper, you can get some of the work started.
As you look at the layout plan, you may ask, "If you are going to
do this, why write a synopsis?" That is a good question. At times,
if I know the audience and the subject, I start with the layout. The
synopsis is simply an outline in another form that helps me get my
philosophy of the speech on paper. When I do both, I give more
thought to the subject, for it is natural that in going over the ma-
terial twice I get down more ideas. You will note, too, if you care
to check the synopsis against the outline, that as I went over the
material the second time I added thoughts, ideas, and suggestions.
The illustration shows a rather clean sheet. My outlines are not at
all like that. Usually my squares are about half the size of the pages
of this book. When I write the headline, I do it in rather large let-
ters, but the notes are scribbled in small script and they may run
from one square into the next. Many times when I record a note I
have an idea as to how that point should be expressed and I write
the idea out too. If a suggestion for an anecdote to illustrate an
idea comes to me, that suggestion goes down on paper too. The
shifting of units which I handled so neatly by numbers in this
illustration for reproduction purposes is usually handled by arrows.
An arrow picks up square number 10 and places it between 3 and 4.
The arrow that takes the story from square i o to the next one il-
lustrates my technique. I still have the speech before me, divided
into its elements. I still can study it, but it is not the neat diagram
shown in the illustration.
A layout also helps you to time your speech. You know how
much time you will have and you know the relative importance of
14 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
each point. Let's say you can speak at the rate of 125 words per
minute. Then you'll speak 3,750 words in a thirty-minute talk.
Now divide those words among your subjects according to the
importance of each subject, and you have an idea of how long you
can talk on each.
Time allotment brings up another point—what is to be left out.
Perhaps a subject that you should cover cannot be handled in the
time available for it. This forces a decision on whether or not to
give the subject the once-over-lightly treatment or to leave it out
altogether.
Such an outline helps you remember your speech. In the part on
Variety, let's say there are four points to make. Now it is fairly
easy to remember four points and the order in which they come.
Thus, if I am thrown off the main track, I can come back much
easier. I had four points in the beginning. When I went astray I
had covered three. Point four is—thus I get back on the track.
One fellow I know builds his little squares into a bridge. "If I
get off the track," he says, "I can always come back to my bridge."
That is useful in any speech you make. Many times a snatch of
conversation before you get up to talk, a question, or some audience
reaction will send you off on a diversion not written into your
speech. The outline should help you get back on the bridge at about
where you went off.
The outline also helps you build up to the end. You don't want
your speech to dwindle away to nothing. The outline lets you
check to make sure that some meat and potatoes have been saved
for the end. Let's arrange the elements so that we have something
more than a few and-so-forths before we sit down. Always we
need a good end; the layout should help us get it.
Laying out the talk on paper helps in these ways:
1. The outline gives you an opportunity to look at the speech
all at once in the same way that an engineer might look at a
finished drawing of his completed bridge.
2. It indicates where you might need additional material.
3. It indicates whether or not your high points bunch up.
LAY IT OUT ON PAPER 15
4. It gives you an opportunity to go over your material a sec
ond time.
5. It allows you to shuffle the elements to spread interest all
through the talk.
6. It helps in organizing your material to sell your idea or plan.
7. It allows you to check for complete coverage—have you
covered ail points?
8. It will help in your timing, in the amount of time assigned to
each subject.
9. It permits you to check the order of the points and to put
them in the proper place.
10. It helps you remember your speech.
4 Now You Need a Plan of
Presentation
Now that you have the talk laid out on paper, you need a plan of
presentation. One talk might be to inform, another to amuse, still
another to appeal for some sort of action. Perhaps you never
thought of it, but your plan of presentation in each case might be
different. And no matter what your objective, you want to use the
plan that applies to the speech you are going to do.
Perhaps you have seen a street peddler selling an exerciser. He
is a short, stocky man with bulging muscles and has the husky voice
of a man who has worked outdoors in all kinds of weather. He
stands stripped to the waist in wintry weather, stretching a heavy
belt of elastic material. Now he pulls it wide in front of him, now
over his head, now behind him. As he goes through the exercises he
tells his story to you. Does he tell you how the belt is made? Does
he tell you how much strength it takes to pull it? Does he talk about
the metal grips that fit the hands, about the quality of rubber, or the
careful double stitching that holds it together?
Not so you can hear it. Instead he talks about you. Look at you,
a skinny excuse for a man, underfed, undernourished, wrapped in a
heavy overcoat while he stands there with no coat at all, not even an
undershirt. Look at you, a puny, shrinking 36, while he's a 44 with a
husky, he-man chest expansion.
As you listen to this kind of talk you begin to believe. You feel
weak. You feel pains. You walked up to that street corner with a
spring in your step. Now you don't feel too well. He extols his
beautiful sun tan and asks you to look at the people around you.
16
NOW YOU NEED A PLAN OF PRESENTATION 17
Instinctively, you glance at the fellow next to you. You see a pale
face that matches yours.
You ask yourself, "Do I look as bad as that fellow?" The thought
is hardly formed when someone steps up and hands over two dol-
lars for the exerciser. Then another, then another. You put your
hand in your pocket. Out comes your two dollars. You step up,
you hand it to the man. You ask, "Are the directions inside?" Tar-
zan assures you that they are as he takes other dollars and hands
over more packages.
Now that fellow uses a plan. He follows a formula that you can
use in a talk that appeals for action. As I analyze his spiel, he follows
four steps.
First, he makes you dissatisfied with the status quo. You are a
weakling. You are letting yourself go. Soon you will be a wreck.
Second, he suggests a remedy. A strip of stretching rubber that
can be used as an exerciser in the living room, the back yard, the
cellar, or attic.
Third, he answers your questions and objections. He shows you
how to use it. He demonstrates. He explains how you can start
yourself on a new life, a life of fresh air, vim and vigor, and joy of
being alive. He explains how you can build yourself into an Adonis
—radiating health, how the girls will turn to look at you.
Fourth, he asks for action. He asks you to step up and hand over
two dollars—the price of one good lunch—for this ticket to a bet-
ter life.
There are just four steps to that formula, but if you want the
audience to do something for you, there is no better plan. Here it is:
1. Make them dissatisfied.
2. Suggest a remedy.
3. Answer the questions and objections.
4. Ask for action.
That applies to the speech that attempts to plead for a cause.
When your speech is to inform, the formula of the Negro preacher
is fine. It runs:
18 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
First, I tells them what Fs goin' to tell them.
Second, I tells them.
Third, I tells them what I done told them.
There are many of these speech formulas and you can find them
in books on public speaking. I urge you to select a formula that
you like. If you organize your speech on a formula it is much more
likely to start in the right direction and keep going in that direction
until it presents its message.
When you speak to an audience, the group sits there with a de-
sire, a need, or a problem. Perhaps three or four or five of the group
have a strong interest in your subject matter. You know as you talk
that this small group is with you. But you must appeal also to the
other members of the group. What will they gain by being in-
terested in this subject?
Perhaps they do not know they have a problem. Let's say they
all live in a small town. The town has a central square like the one
found in so many towns. All the traffic going through the town has
to go around that square. It costs the merchants much business and
many dollars each year. If your talk had to do with cutting the
main highway through the center of the square, you might have to
explain this problem to a large number of the audience.
If you are talking about a need, it may be one of which the group
is not aware. Perhaps they are members of a club, and with the
rising costs of running the club, the membership has to be increased
to keep the operation in the black. Not all members of the club
would know that. Many of them who use the facilities every day
may not be aware of the need for more members to keep the club
going. They like it as it is—uncrowded.
Or perhaps the club may have started a drive to make it the most
aggressive organization in town. That would be a desire of the
officers and the board of managers. The rank-and-file members
may not be aware of that desire.
If the members of your audience know that they have the need
or the desire, you have one speech problem. If they are not aware
of it, you must spend more time stating the problem or defining
NOW YOU NEED A PLAN OF PRESENTATION 19
the need or building up the desire. That means you must spend more
time on the first steps of the exerciser salesman's formula. You must
let them know there is a problem, and you must make them dis-
satisfied with things as they are.
Of course all speeches are not made to get audiences on some
bandwagon. There are speeches that inform. You hear a man talk
on color photography. He talks about his hobby, he shows some
pictures, he answers some questions. If he is talking to camera bugs,
he can talk about type of camera, lenses, filters, size of film, and
other technical data. But if the audience does not know anything
about taking pictures, he should confine himself to a description of
his photographs. He should tell what the pictures are, where they
were taken, what the persons in the pictures are doing. There are
formulas for such speeches too.
When my boy was in high school he had some trouble with the
themes he was required to write in English. I asked him how he
wrote a theme. His answer was, "I just start to write and when I
get enough words, that's it."
Many speech writers seem to have no more plan than that. I sug-
gested to the boy that he use this formula:
1. What it is.
2. What it does.
3. How to use it.
Now that formula did not apply to all the themes he was asked to
write, but it did give him a plan. And he confessed that that plan,
simple as it was, helped him get a good mark in the course.
That formula —what it is, what it does, how to use it—is com-
monly used in describing a product or plan. It was not exactly right
for all the boy's assignments, but by slightly changing the meaning
of the steps he could plan a theme on almost anything. Further, if
there were a choice in the assignment, he could select the subject to
which the formula would apply. For a purely descriptive speech
it is a good formula. Let's say you want to give a speech on the
Black Fork: the shallow, muddy creek that runs under the stone
2O HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
bridge, which brings Route 36 into town. Here is how you might
use that plan.
What it is: Describe the creek in all its unimpressive shabbiness.
Today it is a disgrace. It invites the populace to dump trash in it.
Talk about the tin cans and the broken beer bottles and the impres-
sion that it makes on travelers as they come into town—how they
all say, "What kind of people could live in a town like this?"
What it does: Describe the good it does in carrying off the spring
rains, and the bad, too, how it carries off the topsoil in the lowlands.
How to use it: Now tell how the creek could be made a thing
of beauty; how a park could be made on its banks, with picnic
benches and outdoor fireplaces, how the traveler would look at the
little park and say, "What a pretty town."
The formula does not apply too well to this kind of subject, but
notice that the notes above could be made into a good speech, one
that would interest everybody in your town.
Another formula that might be used is the AIDA formula, well
known in advertising and sales work. It goes:
1. Attract attention.
2. Arouse interest.
3. Create desire.
4. Suggest action.
It is a formula around which the advertising writer can build his
advertisement, or the salesman can fashion his sale. Your assignment
is similar when you make a speech that is designed to get the audi-
ence to do something you want done. So many pleas you hear have
none of that persuasion in them. The speaker wants you to give—
of your money or time—but he does not explain why you gain
when you give.
Here is how that AIDA formula can be applied in a talk to office
managers.
SUBJECT: FILTERED AIR
1. Attract attention Gentlemen: If you could see your lungs right
now, what color do you think they would be?
NOW YOU NEED A PLAN OF PRESENTATION 21
Pink or dark red or maroon? Not at all. They
would be black—black as the ace of spades.
2. Arouse interest Why is that? Well, air has been passing through
those lungs, and that air is loaded with dust. For
in the end everything turns to dust—even you
and I. Dust is the end of everything, of all solids.
A beam of sunlight passing through a dark
room is alive with moving particles. You see
them floating about in the beam of light. But
the ones you see are the big ones. There are
perhaps a thousand times as many smaller ones
that you can't see.
Look at the buildings in the city before and
after sandblasting. That proves how much dirt
and grime there is in the air. But try this. Your
office is a clean place, isn't it? I am glad it is. To-
morrow morning run your finger along the top
of the swinging door or the molding over the
doorjamb. You'll see how much dust and grime
there is in your life. Your fingers will be black,
covered with the same kind of dust that black-
ens your lungs. Now, I am not criticizing the
janitor in your office. He can't keep those mold-
ings clean. He would have to wipe them down
every night to do it. So forget any idea of criti-
cism. But let's think about how that dust got up
on the molding. Nobody shoveled it up there.
The air put it there. It is air-borne dust, the
small particles that you can't see. The kind you
breathe in every day. The kind that paints your
lungs black. And paints the lungs of every one
of your workers black.
You may say, "We have always had this dust
and always will have it." That's true and it's
a good thing, too, for dust has its good uses.
Without dust there would be no rain. Each
raindrop is built around a dust particle. The
moisture condenses on the particle and falls to
22 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
2. Arouse interest the earth. Without the protection of dust in
{continued) the atmosphere, the heat of the sun would be
so intense that all life would be destroyed.
Without dust, there would be no rain. Each
the light and makes the sky look blue. Clouds
would not form without dust. But dust is also
a cause of disease, suffering, and death. Most
communicable diseases of the respiratory tract
are carried by dust. The so-called air-borne
diseases are in reality dust-borne diseases.
Mother Nature knows this dust is harmful and
tries to protect you against dust. Larger par-
ticles of dust are stopped by the hairs in the
nose and the moist surfaces of the mucous
membrane. The windpipe is also protected by
countless cilia or tiny upright hairs which serve
to sweep back into the upper throat any large
particles that alight upon them. That dust in
the air may give you any one of a number of
diseases. For while you are protected by nature
from the larger particles of dust, the smaller
particles get by these defenses and when they
reach the lungs they may do damage. For germs
ride on those small particles of dust, and the
lungs have no effective means of ejection.
You have heard of silicosis, of tuberculosis and
pneumonia, of allergies, of catarrh, of asthma.
Dust is a contributory cause of all those dis -
eases. Dust carries germs with it right into those
lungs of yours and your workers. Some of
those germs are harmless and perform a useful
function in nature. But many of them are harm-
ful. Lister explained that dust is harmful chiefly
because it carries harmful living germs. The
really dangerous germs carried by dust are
tuberculosis bacillus, streptococcus, pneumo -
coccus, and diphtheria.
NOW YOU NEED A P LAN OF PRESENTATION 23
In some industrial plants the health laws require
that the air be filtered. But such laws are not
for offices, for the air in offices is not thought
of as harmful. Yet it is harmful. It carries dust
and dust-borne germs. And those germs send
office workers home for the afternoon, for days
and, yes, even for weeks.
3. Create desire To you office managers those absences are a
headache, a headache that plagues you particu-
larly in the winter months. Yet you can cut
down absenteeism by getting rid of the air -
borne dust in your offices. When employers
understand what filtered air can do in keeping
workers on the job, the office of the future will
have air that is almost free of dust and dust-
borne germs.
When an employee is absent, you lose two
ways. Most of you pay her salary—there is a
money loss. And then there is the loss of work.
Further, there is the tremendous loss of effi-
ciency in the half-hearted efforts of workers
who are dragging with colds but do not go
home.
Does filtered air cut down absenteeism due to
colds and other respiratory diseases? Well, the
Ajax Industries with 222 employees in their
offices filtered the air delivered to their offices
and cut down absences by 46 per cent. The
saving on time alone paid for the installa tion of
the filtering equipment in the first six months.
Mr. John Winns, who is here tonight, will
confirm those figures. The Alyn Company, with
over 100 employees in its offices, reports a
reduction of lost time for colds of 42 per cent.
Mr. Alyn himself—I believe he is an officer of
your club—is a most enthusiastic booster of air
filtering.
24 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Is this filtering equipment expensive? No, it is
not. For in every case it pays for itself in savings
on lost time. Does its installation disturb office
routine? No, it can be installed after working
hours. Then why don't more companies use it?
Well, few people understand air filtering.
When they do, they want it. And after they
have had it for a while they ask, "Why didn't
we do this long ago?"
4- Suggest action Gentlemen, I could quote many figures and
facts similar to those I gave you on the Ajax
and Alyn Companies. But here is what I sug-
gest. I have a list here of the companies that
have filtered the air supplied to their office em-
ployees. I will give a copy of this to any one of
you. Then I would suggest this. You ask the
names on this list. Telephone them, or better
still, make a personal call upon them. Check
into what air filtering is doing for them. It
might do the same for you.
Every one of you—if you have twenty or more
office employees —can save money through air
filtering. Here is my suggestion:
First: Look into it—check some companies that
have tried it. Second: If you think it might
have possibilities
for your company, put in a trial installation
in one office. Third: Keep records on
absenteeism. Do those
three things and without doubt you will show
your company a big saving in money and in
office efficiency.
(Note: This talk is written without benefit of the suggestions
that come later in the book. But as this stands it would make a good
talk.)
NOW YOU NEED A PLAN OF PRESENTATION 25
An electric -range salesman once told me that he followed the
markings on his switches when he made a talk. He started with
simmer, moved into low, dallied awhile in medium, then got into
medium high, and wound up with a blaze on high. He had some-
thing there. The only question about his plan is that his simmer
might not get the group on the edge of their chairs at the start.
Most teachers of public speaking tell you that you have to knock
them dead with the first sentence.
I can't say that I wholly agree with that. Surely, it is good to have
a first sentence that slays them. It is better probably to have a first
paragraph that gets them on the edges of their chairs. But I worry,
too, about the balance of the speech. You have to hold interest
all the way through the speech.
The electric -range salesman does have a big point. He builds up
to the end. So often the speeches you hear are good at the start,
but they seem to flicker out as they near the end. If you will
study the formulas in this book you will find that all of them hold
interest until the end. They start high by attracting attention and
they build up until they ask for action.
Another useful formula is:
1. What happened in the past.
2. What happened today.
3. What will happen in the future.
This one is great for the extemporaneous speech. Let's say you
are called upon to talk on a subject. You have nothing prepared.
Well, worry not—start with the past, then talk about today, then
about tomorrow. You can use that formula on almost any sub-
ject.
I have talked about enough formulas to give you the idea. First
was the street hawker's:
1. Make them dissatisfied.
2. Suggest a remedy.
3. Answer questions and objections.
4. Ask for action.
26 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
The Negro preacher's went:
1. Tell them what you are going to tell them.
2. Tell them.
3. Tell them what you just told them.
The product-description formula went:
1. What it is.
2. What it does.
3. How to use it.
The AIDA formula went:
1. Attract attention.
2. Arouse interest.
3. Create desire.
4. Suggest action.
Then there is the one which will get you out of a hole if you
are called upon without any notice at all.
1. What happened in the past.
2. What is happening today.
3. What will happen in the future.
Then the plan of the electric -range salesman:
1. Start on SIMMER.
2. Move into LOW.
3. Dally in MEDIUM .
4. Go into MEDIUM HIGH.
5. Finish in HIGH.
The other plan discussed was:
1. First things first.
2. Second things second.
3. Next things next.
4. Last things last.
Those seven formulas will give you a plan for almost any kind
of speech you want to write. I have repeated them here so that
NOW YOU NEED A PLAN OF PRESENTATION 27
you can look at them all at once and check on the one you want
to use. Of course, these are not all the speech formulas in existence
—not at all. Almost every book on speechmaking gives you one.
Use any one you fancy, but my point is—use some formula. Give
your speech a plan.
How do you use it? Well, you have laid out your speech on pa-
per. Now decide on the formula you will use. Then arrange your
material under the steps of the formula you selected. Here are some
points to remember on this matter of plan.
1. A plan for your presentation makes for a better speech.
2. There are many formulas you can use for a speech.
3. The same formula will not apply to all kinds of speeches. You
may need one formula for a speech that informs, another for
a speech that entertains, a third for a speech that appeals for
action.
4. A speech that starts toward its objective and keeps on the
track is usually a good speech.
Now, let's get on to the next step. You know what material you
have. You have selected the formula to use. But before you start
writing, let's talk about slanting the speech to appeal to the audi-
ence's interest.
5. Their Interest, Not Yours
Everything you write in your speech should be written in terms
of audience interest. What does that mean? Well, everything you
say should be aimed at what the people out front are interested
in. As I sit there listening to you make a speech, I'm interested in
me. The fat fellow with the tight collar in the third row is inter-
ested in himself. His shoes hurt. He's tired. He's had too much
lunch. The air is not too good, and he is logy, sleepy, ready to
yawn. For that reason what you say must be more interesting to
him than the two-minute nap that would make a new man out of
him. You don't have a ghost of a show with that fellow if you
talk about something that doesn't interest him. He sits there
asking, "What does it mean to me?" or "What do I get out of it?"
You will do better if you answer those questions.
How do you talk in terms of audience interest? Well, let's have
a few examples. A mother says to her youngster, "I want you to
wear your rubbers today."
"Why?" asks Junior.
"Because I don't want you down with a cold," the mother replies.
Junior thinks of the last time he had a cold. It wasn't so bad.
He sat up in his bed all day. Every time he wanted anything, he
called his mother and she climbed the stairs and brought him
orange juice or grape juice or water and gave him ice cubes to
suck. Then Uncle Looie brought him all those comic books. And
Daddy came home with a lollypop, one of the big ones, every night.
When Mother went to her bridge club, Mrs. Mittens came in and
read him stories. No, it wasn't so bad at all.
Thus that answer of Mother's had little recognition of Junior's
28
THEIR INTEREST, NOT YOURS 29
interest. But suppose Junior has been going to the movies every
Saturday afternoon and is interested in the Dick Tracy serial. Last
Saturday they left poor Dick hanging from a window ledge forty-
four stories up, and Junior has talked about it all week and can
hardly wait until the next episode to find out what has happened
to his hero. Then when Junior asks why he should wear his rub-
bers, Mother says, "Well, if you get your feet wet and catch
cold, you can't go to the movies on Saturday and find out what
happened to Dick Tracy."
I don't think I need point out which of these two answers is
more likely to get Junior to wear his rubbers.
It is easy for you to talk about your plan or idea in the way
you yourself think of it. It is just as easy to slant those same
thoughts to appeal to the audience.
There are a number of ways you can make sure you are talking
in their interest. Here are some of the most common mistakes
speakers make:
1. They speak of what they want, not what the audience wants.
2. They don't explain why it is to the audience's interest.
3. They don't use the right appeals.
4. They don't make the audience understand. Their points are
made in terms that are not familiar to the audience.
5. They don't use the emotional appeal enough. There is too
much of the factual and statistical.
6. They don't hit the group's interest soon enough.
Let's discuss the first point—they speak in terms of what they
want, not what the audience wants. Now this is a simple thing, but it
indicates how the speaker thinks about his subject. The speaker
says, "I would like to tell you. . . ." He should say, "You will be
interested to know. . . ." He goes on to state, "My opinion of this
is. . . ." He should say, "You feel this way about it, don't you?"
Get the idea? A man from the factory, presenting a product to a
group of salesmen, is quite likely to say, "We give you this fea-
ture, and we have this. . . ." He should put it, "You have this fea-
ture to sell, and you have this. . . ." Not long ago I listened to a man
30 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
make a presentation of his product. It was filled with "we's"—we
did this—we gave you that—we advertised in this magazine—we
have this display. When he asked me what I thought of the presen-
tation, I suggested that he put it all in terms of the audience, that
instead of those "we's" he use "you's." He looked at me and said,
"Why didn't I think of that? It should be that way."
Now how would he do that? Well, here is a try at putting in
the "you."
"You asked the factory for this and here it is—just what you
asked for."
"You have this to sell."
"These advertisements in these magazines will be sending shop-
pers into your stores."
"Think how this display will look in your store."
That kind of talk would hold the interest of a salesman. It is
slanted at his interest. When you talk about the display in his store,
he starts to think of the corner in which he will put it. When you
talk of the advertisement sending shoppers into the store, he thinks
of the woman who came in with the advertisement in her hand
and wanted to see the appliance. When you talk in his interest
he goes along with you. Why, then, show that you are thinking
of yourself first by saying, "I would like to tell you . . ."? Say
instead, "Here is news. Maybe you have heard it and maybe not,
but, boy, it is important to you."
It is not quite enough to change the wording from "we" to
"you." We had better make sure that with the change in wording
we explain why. Let's say that you are making a speech about a
plan that will build up your club. To put the plan in effect you
need a change in the by-laws or an increase in dues. That is a
project that needs some selling. I belong to this club. I am satisfied
with things as they are. I don't see any sense in changing the by-
laws. And I am not ever in favor of paying more dues. Well, if you
want to change me over, you had better tell me what it means to
me, and you had better do the best job of explaining you know
how to do.
How will I gain? In money, in savings, in esteem of my fellow
THEIR INTEREST, NOT YOURS 31
townsmen, in satisfaction because I am a part of a worthy project,
in comfort, in better meetings, better food at the dinners, better
speakers, in prestige, in knowledge, in joy in a job well done.
Those are some of the appeals you had better use and explain
when you ask me to vote for the change in the by-laws and the in-
crease in dues. But don't tell me that I will get a lot of joy and
satisfaction out of these changes. Explain the joy and describe it
specifically, explain the satisfaction and describe it in detail. In the
electrical-appliance business, salesmen use the word "economical"
a lot. Usually the word needs explanation. They say that an electric-
range oven is economical. They mean that it uses electricity only
nine minutes out of the hour, or that all the heat is used, that all
of it goes into the pan, or that none of it goes up the flue. In such
explanations "economical" is not enough. The statement needs
explanation. And that is what I mean by explanation in this speech.
In the speech to influence the audience to do something, you
have to tell them why it is to their interest and then explain so that
they understand. They won't accept your statement. They want
proof. Yes, explain how this plan will build the club, how it will
make good publicity for them, how it will bring the club to the top
in community activities, how it may build up one of the mem-
bers so that he can run for Senator. But don't stop with saying
that it will—explain how it will. Such explanations will hold their
interest. Tell them what it means to them, then explain what it
means to them, and you will hold interest from beginning to end.
That's what you must do in any talk. You can't talk in generali-
ties and hold interest, no matter how loud you shout. Speak not of
hunger in China or the faraway places. Start hunger gnawing at
the innards of the bald man in the second row. Don't rave about
athlete's foot in general. Start his feet itching. When you do that
you have his interest. Think of the street peddler selling the exer-
ciser and take a lesson from him. Make the audience feel with you.
Remember that many speakers fail to slant their talk at the interest
of the audience. The young man studying selling is taught that
there are a number of reasons why people buy. These might be
listed as:
32 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
To save time
To save labor
To satisfy appetites
To increase respect of others
To improve appearance
To be considered good sports
To save what they have
If your subject has any appeal for any one of these reasons,
write in that appeal. Here is what I mean.
Let's take the last one, "To save what they have." You are
healthy; you want to maintain your health. I do, everybody does,
and so health is a sure-fire interest arouser. But the health of the
public as a whole will not have too much interest. It's my health
that I am interested in. Talk my health in good, common-sense,
everyday language and I will listen with interest to what you say.
Talks on technical subjects like health must be put in terms that
can be understood. Here's an example. For years, health authori-
ties had been talking about vitamin content of vegetables. They
had been giving nutrition courses in which they taught the vari-
ous vitamin classifications. You saw long tables of what vege-
tables had this vitamin and what vegetables had that vitamin.
Homemakers took these courses; they passed exa minations. They
knew vitamins, but very few of the students knew what to do
about them.
There was nothing wrong with these courses. The teaching
methods were good. The appeal was there—health. Every student
wanted to keep his health or improve it. But the idea was not ex-
plained in everyday terms that the homemakers understood. Then
some wise person started teaching vitamin content in terms of
cooking. Every homemaker knew how to cook. When it was ex-
plained that the vitamins in vegetables were good for her family,
she was interested. When it was further explained that when she
bought the vegetables in the store they were rich in vitamin con-
tent but that most of that content was lost in her method of prepa-
ration of the vegetables in her kitchen, she wanted to know what
THEIR INTEREST, NOT YOURS 33
she did that was wrong. Now the teachers could explain that vita-
min content of vegetables was injured by too much water or too
much heat or too much air and she understood. When she was told
to use little or no water, to bring to a boil quickly, and then cook on
low heat, to cook in covered utensils and not to stir, she understood.
When the vitamin story was brought into her kitchen and she was
shown how to cook certain vegetables so that the vitamin content
was retained, the homemaker had a much better chance of under-
standing. She might not get interested in Vitamin A, or niacin or
thiamin or riboflavin—those were strange names—but if too much
water, or too much boiling, or stirring, or cooking in open utensils
without lids would lose that vitamin content she could do some-
thing about it.
Through such an approach the vitamin story was explained to
the American homemaker in wartime. It was the same speakers,
the same voices, in the same lecture rooms, but what a difference.
Explained technically, the vitamin story seemed unreal. By tying
it into the daily lives of homemakers and their most important job
—cooking the meals for their families—the story had interest and
was understood.
Each member of an audience sits out there asking, "What does
it mean to me?" or "What do I get out of it?" And so as you
talk you have to answer those questions. It is not too difficult to
do that, for there are many motives that you can appeal to. Some
of them are emotional, some based on good common sense. But you
must select some of those motives and use them when you make
your appeal. A list of motives and a description of how you can
appeal to each would take a whole book. Here is a list of mo-
tivating forces that you might bring into play: affection, duty,
gain, fear, pride, selfishness, appetite, respect of others, appear-
ance, security, saving. With such a list it will not be difficult to
take any material you have and slant your appeal so that it hits
the audience in terms of its interest.
For example, you are talking on oil heat, on its benefits and
advantages. As you look over the list above you see that you can
appeal to affection—oil heat would be good for the loved ones.
34 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Perhaps you can work up an argument on duty. Gain would be
simple if you could show a decrease in costs and a greater con-
venience. Pride—ah yes, the purchaser would be happy to show
his purchase to the neighbors. Selfishness—perhaps not in so many
words, but there is personal comfort, and leisure, and ease of use.
Respect of others—you bet, keeping up with the Joneses. Appear-
ance—it improves the property, gives it a greater productive value.
There is an economy of use, a saving of time, of labor.
I don't know much about oil heat. I purposely selected a sub-
ject I did not know too well. But as you look over that list you
see how easy it is to slant this subject at the interests of the audi-
ence. Why not take the subject you have selected for your next
speech and go through that list of motives? You will find that
there are many ways you can change your treatment of the sub-
ject matter to make it answer the questions of the audience, "What
does it mean to me?" and "What do I get out of it?"
In training, salesmen are taught that there are certain buying
motives. They are asked to describe a product feature. Then they
are asked, "What does that mean to a shopper?" Now they re-
shape the description so that it has shopper appeal. That's what
you have to do with your speech material. Take a statement that
you have worked up to use in the talk and ask yourself the ques-
tion, "What does it mean to this Joe in the audience?" Then shape it
to appeal to him.
At about this point you may say, "Look here, you are talking
about salesmen all the time. I'm not a salesman." I grant that. But
most of the talks you have to make are to persuade somebody to do
something. To vote, to change the by-laws, to raise the dues, to
come to the golf picnic —you are asking them to do something.
And those requests are selling jobs. You have to sell them on what
you want them to do. So bear with me while I give these selling
examples. It will do you good to learn something about selling.
Of the list of appeals to action, the emotional ones should not
be overlooked. It is fine to marshal all the facts and statistics and to
prove the logic of your case. But remember that a lot of things
THEIR INTEREST, NOT YOURS 35
are bought on emotional reasoning. Here is a partial list of such
appeals.
MATERIAL GAIN: YOU probably would mention this one first.
ROMANCE: T WO bottles and you'll be a beauty. The toupee that
nobody will notice. The success course that will have the boys
rushing you.
HEALTH : The bounding energy. You never feel tired. You hit
the golf ball two miles, and straight.
EMULATION: YOU are the one the others copy. You they admire.
They ask your opinion. They take your orders.
SAFETY: YOU protect your health. You protect your life. You save
little old you.
COMFORT : YOU sit on your front porch in the easy chair. All you
do is press a button—and perhaps you can get somebody to do
that for you.
SENSORY P LEASURE: It tastes good. It feels grand. It looks swell. It
sounds beautiful. It smells too.
CURIOSITY: Did you know this? The $64 question.
DOMESTIC HAPPINESS: The wife and kids. The chance to do some-
thing for them, to show you love them.
Don't neglect these appeals when you are writing your speech.
Some of them might help. Remember the brothers who want to be
the life of the party, who want to be free of halitosis or dandruff,
who want the wife and kids to think they are grand. Those desires
are natural. Perhaps your logic and statistics will slay them, but
add a dash of emotional appeal too. A man may claim that he
doesn't want his name or photograph in the newspaper, but just
listen to him when the friends around the club start to kid him
about the piece or the photograph.
The emotional appeal is good and so are any others that help
you put your talk in terms of the interest of the audience. It is
well to establish that interest quickly.
Let's say you plan to talk on job security. You have gathered a
36 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
wealth of statistics. You have the facts to wow your audience.
Let's say you start like this:
Gentlemen: Last year, in this town with a population of 10,000
employable, 25 per cent of that number changed jobs. Two per
cent of that number changed of their own volition. But get this —
the remaining 23 per cent were laid off, furloughed, or discharged
without having one word to say about it.
That is startling, isn't it? Your information is good and it should
have some appeal, for every man in the room has a job. But stated
in this way, the audience will not get too wildly excited about it,
so let's try again.
Gentlemen, how secure is that job of yours? Are you on the same
job you held one year ago? Well, if you are you are lucky, for one
out of every four workers in this town has changed in the past
year. And almost every one of them had nothing to say about the
change. They were fired, discharged, furloughed, or laid off. They
didn't want to change. But they had to.
That's a little better, isn't it? But let's see if we can't sock them
a little harder and sit them on the edge of their chairs. Here goes.
Today I lost my job. Tomorrow you may lose y ours.
Now what would you do if you had to go home tomorrow night
and tell the little woman and the kids, "I got laid off today." Per-
haps the boss said furloughed. But how would you feel? Low,
wouldn't you?
Yet that's exactly what happened to one out of every four
workers in this town last year. One out of four—fired, discharged,
furloughed, laid off. Those men didn't want to change any more
than you do as you sit here tonight. But they did change.
That's enough to give you the idea. Get the talk started qu ickly
in terms of their interest. Lose no time in telling them that it is to
their interest to listen. Get their interest with the first paragraph,
and hit them hard.
Now let's go over the points in this chapter again.
THEIR INTEREST, NOT YOURS 37
1. Remember that the audience sits there asking, "What does it
mean to me?"
2. Don't speak of "we" or "I"—use "you." What you want is
of no interest to them. It is what they want that interests
them.
3. Tell why it is to their interest, and explain why it is to their
interest. Make them understand.
4. Search for the big appeals—the factual ones and the emotional
ones.
5. Translate the appeal in terms that the audience will under
stand. Don't talk Greek to them unless they are Greeks.
6. Use the emotional appeals. They are powerful, motivating
forces.
7. In your first sentence get over the idea that the group is in
terested in your subject. Don't start with a lot of preliminary
blah-blah. Get their interest early.
With interest of the audience in mind, suppose you go back
over that outline you laid out on paper and make notes in each
of your squares, telling you why each point appeals to this audi-
ence. Let the note remind you how you are going to cover the
point so that you answer their question, "What does it mean to
me?"
Now that we have our material laid out, have selected a formula
for the presentation, and have studied our material to find its
greatest appeal to the audience, let's discuss the kind of writing
we have to do.
6. Write It to Joe
At the start let's write this speech to Joe. We'll pick out a typical
Joe from your audience, a fellow who is a fairly good composite
of the group. Then we'll write our speech directly to Joe.
How do you think of the group to whom you're going to talk?
Perhaps you think of them as gentlemen and scholars. Again as
brothers. Or maybe more familiarly as "you guys" or "you lugs."
But no matter how you have them pegged, there is one Joe among
them who is a cross section of all of them.
Let's put the words down on paper just as you would speak them
to Joe. Write the word "Joe" up there at the start of the first
paragraph, put a comma behind it, and write:
Joe, as I stand up here on the platform tonight I can think of the
time a few years ago when I met you in Kansas City. Remember,
Joe? It was in that little restaurant with the blonde waitress. I still
remember, Joe, what you said that night.
Would Joe and a group of Joes listen to a story like that? You
know they would. And whenever you start off so closely to this
Joe's thoughts and interests, you are certain to get attention. Once
I heard a speaker start a talk to a group of his dealers with, "Gentle-
men and Chiselers." He smiled when he said it, of course, but the
crowd roared. He was talking right down their alley. And all
through the talk you could see that this man had thought of the
Joes out in front of him when he was writing it to the one Joe
who was a composite of the group. He wrote it just as he would
talk to that Joe face to face. His talk was on the beam every minute.
Writing to Joe, you keep your talk on a conversational level.
Sit him across the desk and talk to him as you write. You can't go
38
WRITE IT TO JOE 39
high-hat on a guy across the desk. You won't get up in the
blue sky, over his head, if you imagine he is right there tal ing k
to you, asking a question now and then. Putting in an argument
occasionally. Adding a thought or two. No, you'll keep down
to earth where your talk belongs.
This goes for any kind of audience. All groups are made up of
Joes. You may be talking to bankers, lawyers, merchant chiefs,
rich men, poor men, beggarmen, or thieves. But in each group
there is an average Joe. Pick out that individual and write your
speech to him.
If you feel that you have to talk big language to big shots, you're
all wrong. For big shots talk about the cost of turkey, about the
mashie shot they missed last Sunday, about how tough it is to get
good liquor. Listen to a group of these fellows talk and you'll
find they don't talk much differently than you and your buddies
do. So if you will just write to this Joe, you'll get your story over
to the entire audience.
How do you do that? Well, here's an example:
Joe, as you picked up your newspaper this morning I'll bet this
thought crossed your mind. . . .
That gets you off to a start. You're talking to him about his news-
paper. And his name helps you keep right on the beam.
Put Joe's name in every sentence in this talk of yours and you
won't get off on a side track. How to do that? Well, look:
No, Joe, such a grievance cries aloud for vengeance. But, Joe,
you can't do anything rash. No, Joe, you've got to play safe, to
hold back. And that holding back gives you an opportunity, Joe,
to show how big you are.
There it is with "Joe" in every sentence. Now let's see what we
have with the "J oes" out.
No, such a grievance cries aloud for vengeance. But you can't
do anything rash. No, you've got to play safe, to hold back. And
that holding back gives you an opportunity to show how big you
are.
40 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
It's still on the beam. It's still talking to Joe just as much as was
the other. But putting Joe's name in there has helped you keep on
the beam.
When you're writing Joe in, you're talking directly to him.
You're not so likely to bring in those big words of which you are
not too sure. You're not so likely to use quotations which you
yourself feel are the bunk. You're not so likely to tell a funny
story which you know for sure doesn't advance your point.
So let's write it to Joe. You may want to talk turkey to him. You
may want to get tough. You many want to praise him, to cajole,
or persuade him. And you can do any one of those jobs better if
you write him in.
So what we're talking about here is not just trying to keep Joe
in mind. It's to write him down on paper.
"Now listen, Joe—."
"And, Joe, where does that get you?"
"Look, Joe, here's the way you do it."
"Let's discuss this thing, Joe."
That's the way you do it. It's an easy way to write. Just like a
letter home. It's conversational, it's brass tacks. Write Joe into
every sentence, every thought. It will give life to your speech. It
will keep you close to earth. Write it to Joe and your talk will come
much closer to ringing the bell.
7 Use Your Own Words
There are a lot of reasons why you should use your own lan-
guage in a speech. Here are a few:
You will sound natural.
Your own words are more likely to convey your meaning.
You will impress the group with your sincerity.
You can pronounce your own words.
Not long ago one of the boys was giving a talk before a group
of fellows in the office. Somewhere in that speech he had written
a sentence which started, "This epitomizes. . . ." It came like a
bolt out of the blue. The audience started in shocked surprise.
This was not Pete, their pal, their friend. This was some stuffed
shirt who looked like Pete, sounding off with big words. They
didn't titter at Pete's big words or smile politely. No, the brothers
laughed out loud.
Many times, in conversation with my youngsters, I have used
words not normally used in conversation with them. The kids,
much like these friends of Pete's, never fail to rush forth with the
razzberry. Of course, when you deliver your speech, your audi-
ence will not do that for you. They'll let you go on, give you rope,
and shrug their shoulders. Because it's your speech. But you can't
assume you're fooling them because they don't let you know. No,
they spot you, peg you for the phony you are, and rate your
cause along with you.
Your own words are more likely to convey your meaning. The
other day a newspaper reporter interviewed a friend of mine. The
friend gave him a statement. Later, when the reporter wrote it from
41
42 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
the notes, he asked me, "What's this fellow trying to cover up?"
I checked with the man who gave the statement and found that
he wasn't trying to cover up anything. The chance to talk to a
reporter was too much for him and he talked in big words, which,
when tied together end-to-end, meant nothing. If he hadn't been
swept off his feet by the fact tha t he was giving an interview, he
might have used his own words and told the reporter exactly
what he meant. But asked to furnish information, he set out to
make an impression and what he said in his Sunday vocabulary
added up to zero.
Perhaps in some speeches you will want to tell the audience
nothing. But that's not the kind of speech we are discussing. When
you want to cover up, dust off the glittering generalities and put
them to work. But don't go highbrow when you are writing a
speech to tell Joe Doakes how to sell his product or to get Joe
steamed up about contributing to the Community Fund. Remem-
ber always that when you use your own words, you can come
closer to saying exactly what you mean.
Another advantage in using your own words is that you can
pronounce them. I once used the word "nutritious" in the script
of a speech written for another man. In rehearsal we discovered
that the man who was to use the speech couldn't say "nutritious."
Every time he came to it he stumbled. We tried it again and again
and then changed to "more healthful." The meaning wasn't exactly
the same, but he could pronounce the words. If you use your own
words, you won't be stuck with a word you can't pronounce.
I have trouble with the word "statistics." Somehow it seems to
get tangled with my tongue. A speaker friend, with the ability to
make audiences love him, has a list of words that he claims get
tangled with his upper plate. He has placed taboos on all of them.
If professional speakers will go to this trouble, the amateur should
at least hesitate before he writes a word like "gregarious" into his
script.
Your own words sound sincere. Remember that when you give
this talk you have to mean what you say. If you say, "The world
is made of green cheese," you have to say it as if you mean it. It
USE YOUR OWN WORDS 43
has to sound to the people in your audience as if you mean it. Now
the best way to make such a statement sound right is to use your
own words.
In working on juries, I have noticed how police, in testifying,
always use the word "observe." You no doubt have met personally
the tough traffic officer who can ask in such an expressive tone,
"Where's the fire?" On the stand the same man will say, "I was
standing on the corner when I observed this car—."
Probably under any other condition the cop would say, "I
saw this man." He'd sound much more natural if he did. Perhaps
the word "observe" carries a more exact meaning, or it may be
legally correct for the record. But it is not a word you would ex-
pect from a cop. The same may be true of many of the exact words
you would use for a common word—your substitution may give
your meaning more exactly, but it doesn't sound right to the audi-
ence and it makes you sound stiff and unnatural.
One way to see how the words sound is to dictate the speech
to a wire or tape recorder. Then play back the speech. One of
my friends did this with a series of radio commercials he had writ-
ten and which he had to read. He played each of them, studying
them as the tape talked back to him. When he had listened to all
of them he said, "I knew the meaning of all the words, but they
did not sound sincere."
Sincerity is a big asset in a talk. If you are pleading for a cause
you must sound as if you believe. You can't be a man on his feet,
mouthing hollow words. Just try to say the following passage.
Read it aloud. Try to put some sincerity into it.
In his panoramic and generalizing qualities, he is a true son of the
age of the grandiose and the monumental in art, memorializing the
triumph of the enlightenment and of the humanist and liberal tradi-
tion.
Those are not my words. They are selected from a piece in a
weekly magazine. I am not sure what they mean. To me they seem
to call for the comment of the sharecropper housewife to the
magazine-subscription solicitor who had just read a list of the
44 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
names of the editorial staff: "Read 'em again, son, they sure sound
pretty."
You need that ring of sincerity in what you say. Your speech
must sound as if you believe. That's true whether you are talking
cause, product, advertising, anything—for or against. If it does not
sound as if you believe, why should the audience believe? And no
matter how much you practiced, you could not make that passage
above sound as if you meant it. Yet at your service club next week
or next month you will hear a speaker who is using words that
are not his, words just as meaningless when he says them as the
ones quoted above.
Perhaps you have taken part in a conference where a club, an
organization, or a company is trying to fashion a statement of
policy which one of the group is to use in a speech. If you have,
you know what I mean. Joe writes the original statement. Then
the group meets and he reads it. Each sits wisely listening. Now
one makes a note, then another. When Joe finishes, he asks for
comments. Andy starts. He says, "Joe, it's a swell statement,
but. . . ." Andy lists his comments. Abe, Bill, and Charlie follow
suit. They all start, "It's swell, but. . . ." When they finish, Joe
wonders what was swell about it. For the statement is in shreds
and if it is rewritten it is not one half so good as it was when Joe
started reading.
Always when I am in one of these round-and-rounds, I chuckle
inwardly. For Joe is going to make the speech anyway. He is go-
ing to follow some of the suggestions, but not all of them. If he
followed all of them he might just as well stand up and recite,
"Baa, baa, black sheep. . . . " For the revision is certainly not
in his words. And if Joe is going to make the speech and he is
going to make it sound right, he must do it in his own words.
That's why it is so difficult to write a speech jointly. You know
the story about the two executives who brought the letter to the
boss to be approved. It was to go out to all the customers, but they
wanted him to see it before it was sent down to be printed.
The boss read the letter slowly. Then he asked, "Who wrote
this?"
USE YOUR OWN WORDS 45
"We did—jointly," one of the executives replied.
"That's what I thought," the boss commented. "And the joint
comes right about in the middle of this paragraph."
That's the argument for getting all the speech, every word of it,
in your language. You don't want the audience to hear the joints
creak.
I make a number of speeches around the country and I find
that there are a lot of the other fellow's words in the introductions
I get. In many cases they have the club wit introduce me. He
goes to town on how difficult I am to get as a speaker. Since I
have to earn a living on a job that does not include speaking be-
fore organizations such as his, there is truth as well as humor in
what he says. These humorous introductions never seem to get
off the track. It is the serious ones that stray afield. I suppose it is
because the man who is assigned the job has but a few words to
organize. And so he does his paragraph and then polishes and
polishes it until it shines.
Not long ago one of my friends in introducing me to an audi-
ence said, "This man is one of the leaders in the field known as sales
training." Then after a few words on what sales training is, and
the need for it, he went on, "Mastery of this exhaustive subject
is not to be easily attained."
I said this man was a friend of mine. He was not trying to
sabotage. Yet that is what he came out with. If he had been intro-
ducing me to a friend he would have said, "This is Ed Hegarty.
He is a sales training expert. He's an expert among experts." But
my friend had written his introduction. He had dug up some high-
sounding words for the occasion. It didn't sound like him—he's a
regular Joe. And it didn't give the audience the picture of me he
wanted them to have. Always use your own words—even when
you have but a short blurb to do. They won't throw you. And
they won't stamp you as a stuffed shirt.
Many times I have been asked to rehearse talks that were to be
part of a meeting. I always welcome such rehearsals because it
provides a chance to go through the talk once and to get outside
comment. At times those comments suggest word changes. One
46 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
time I remember I said, "This is important. . . ." The critic sug-
gested that I say, "This is of prime importance. . . ."
I said, "Look, I never use the word 'prime,' but if you feel that
some accent is needed I will try to find another way of saying
that."
I could have said "of real importance" or "it's most important,"
but "prime" was not one of my words. Certainly I know what
"prime" means and perhaps I could have used the word, but I
would never have felt right doing so. We settled by making the
stateme nt, "This is the most important point in the whole pro-
cedure." I could say that without thinking that it was not exactly
right for me. That's when you stumble —when you are thinking
about what you are saying. If you have to make a statement just
so, with exact wording, with emphasis on certain points, the audi-
ence will sense it.
But they won't razz you if you get off the beam. As a rule, the
audience is courteous. A salesman friend of mine had been call-
ing on a certain company for a long time. He had been trying to
get in to see the boss, but always an assistant took him in hand and
kept him out of the big man's office. Then one day as he walked
through a trade show he saw the big man. He went over to him,
introduced himself, and stated that he'd called on the company
a number of times.
"Do they treat you courteously?" asked the boss.
"That they do," the salesman replied. "They kill me with cour-
tesy, but they don't give me any business."
And that's the thing you have to keep in mind as you make your
speech. The audience will be courteous. No matter what kind of
language you use, they'll sit quietly and appear to listen, perhaps
with interest. But they won't buy your deal. So if you want to get
them to do something, if you want them to carry a message home,
to get enthused about your cause, you had better explain it in your
own words. Perhaps in an anecdote you plan to say that a man
was soused, plastered, spifficated, or stewed to the gills. Okay,
there's no complaint on that if those are your words. But don't
write any of those words with quotes around them.
USE YOUR OWN WORDS 47
Why? I don't want you to have any words in your talk which
you think of as foreign to your vocabulary. If it is your practice
to say that a man is intoxicated or inebriated, write it that way; but
if you can say that the man was stewed to the gills without slip-
ping out of character, write it so without quotes.
The other day I was asked to go over the script of a talk. At
the end of the first page I came across the expression "Confiden-
tially, it stinks." The expression was in quotes.
"Why the quotes?" I asked.
The writer wasn't sure.
"How would you say it in your own words?" I continued.
He thought awhile, "Well, I'd say it just that way."
I asked him to say, "Confidentially, it stinks." He did it easily
and naturally.
"You say it naturally," I went on. "Then why do you put quotes
around it when you write it?"
Now I wasn't arguing with him about the quotes in his talk. I
have no battle with quotes when they belong. But I was quite
certain that if he thought about those words in quotes, he wouldn't
use them as if they were his. He would speak them as if they were
foreign to him, and he would lose the punch the words would
give.
Many times you have heard speakers say, "In the vernacu-
lar . . ." or, "As the boys on Tenth Avenue would say. . . ." Such
qualifications are excess baggage. If the boys on Tenth Avenue
would say it, perhaps the boys on Park, or Fifth or Sixth or Seventh
would say it too. By such expressions the speaker advertises that
he is in the wrong ball park.
Usually when you write quotes around a word you do it not
because the word belongs in quotes, but because you are think-
ing of the word as one that should be in quotes, because it is not
quite the thing for a speech. If you think of any word or any
expression that doesn't belong, leave it out of your talk. If, in pri-
vate conversation, you'd say, "The guy is nuts," and you want
to use the expression to describe him in your speech, don't think
of it with quotes setting it apart. If it's natural for you to use
48 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
these expressions, write them in. But if you never make a crack
like that in private conversation, put quotes around it. Then the
quotes belong.
One way to stick to your own words is to use a dictating ma-
chine or to dictate the script to your secretary. In this way you
talk your speech. If you keep on talking without stopping to think
of the exact meaning of words or to think of what you are say-
ing, you should come up with a script that is in your own words.
The best words are short words, words with positive meaning.
Words of one syllable are good because they are your words, my
words, everybody's words. In a talk I do on "The Language of
Selling," I have a routine I do on small words. With it I use a chart
which illustrates how we live in small words. This chart reads:
Ring—wake—live—day—light
wake—look—see—shave—bath
primp—dress—eat—walk—ride
work—sale—ring—pay—play
sing—laugh—cry—love—hate
bed—sleep—snore—dream.
I use the chart to describe the day of the average salesman in
words of one syllable. You can say almost anything in words of
that kind. And many times two or three of the small words will do
the job of the fancy word and do it better. You always have a bet-
ter chance to be understood with the small word.
It is not too difficult to dig words out of books and put them
together in a way that sounds beautiful as you hear them—beau-
tiful to you, anyway. Not long ago one of my friends used the
expression "correlate together" in a talk. He fancied that word
"correlate" and he had written it into his speech. But when he
used it, he proved to his audience that it wasn't his and that he
did not know what it meant.
Let's review these suggestions again.
1. Use your own words; don't look up any in the dictionary.
2. Don't try to use large words; the small words are best.
You understand them and so does the audience.
USE YOUR OWN WORDS 49
3. Use words that you can pronounce. Remember your thick
tongue or your upper plate.
4. Try for the ring of sincerity. Your own words will give
that to you.
5. Try recording the speech on a wire, tape, or record
recorder.
6. Don't try to write a speech with another. The joints will
show.
7. When you have to introduce a speaker at your service
club, don't write a lot of eyewash about him. Do it in
your own words—simply.
8. Use slang if it is natural to you. Don't use such expressions
as "As the boys on Tenth Avenue "would say." Usually
those fellows express themselves in an understandable way.
9. Don't think of any word or phrase you use as being in
quotes unless the quotes are there for emphasis.
10. Use the simplest words you know. Words of one syllable
are wonderful.
At the start we promised to make this speech-writing job easy.
Right now we rule out looking for words—you will use your
own vocabulary—your words, not mine. That will be one of your
short cuts in getting this speech down on paper.
8. Spoken, Not Written, Language
You have to speak this speech, so as we start let's try to lay off
written words. We want spoken words—words that you would
normally use in speech, words that others would normally use in
speech. This may illustrate what I mean. In my speech on "How
to Run a Sales Meeting" I do a sequence on this point. I ask the
audience how many can tell me what the word "fatuous" means.
I ask those who can to raise their hands. When I ask that question
the faces of the audience are blank. I ask them to raise their hands.
Then I repeat the word and spell it out. This time I do get a rip-
ple of recognition. Next I hold up a card on which the word is
spelled out. Now, because they see the word spelled out, more of
them know the word I mean. I use the stunt to show the difference
between spoken and written words. "Fatuous" means silly. Fatuous
is a written word—a word your audience might understand if they
saw it written out. Silly is a word your audience will understand
when you speak it.
One night after I had finished the speech in which I did this
demonstration, a young lady came up to me and said, "It's certainly
fatuous to use a silly word like fatuous when you want to say some -
thing is silly."
While I have taken a word here that is a bit unusual, the same
principle applies to many simple words. When writing a speech,
don't write, "The expenditures are X dollars annually." Put it,
"The expenditures are X dollars every year." The audience will
hear the two words better than the one and they will be more
likely to understand what you mean. You may slur over the an-
nually, or say it too fast. The same applies to "daily"; write "every
day." For "necessarily" write "are necessary" or "are needed."
50
SPOKEN, NOT WRITTEN, LANGUAGE 51
Since the writing of most of us is confined to business letters,
probably the best way to illustrate the difference between writ-
ten and spoken language is to recall the business letters we write.
You'd never think of telephoning Joe Whosis and saying, "Joe, I
have yours of recent date" or "Yours of the first instant is now in
front of me." Perhaps you don't write letters like that. But here
is a gem I took from a sales letter that reached me the other day:
"This course is the result of the collective effort of outstanding
executives. It will undoubtedly react to the financial advantage of
those who avail themselves of the opportunity afforded." Now
that is letter-writing language, but it won't do for a speech. Just
stop now and try to say those words. The man speaking those two
sentences to an audience would sound like a stuffed shirt.
That's the trouble with most of us when we sit down to write.
We are stuffy. We grope for words. We don't open up. Let's
take that paragraph from a letter and write it so that it would go
over well in a speech. All he says is that some executives wrote the
course, and that the man who gets the letter can cash in on the
time and money he puts in to take it. Okay, let's write it thus—
"This course was written by experts. If you pay the five-dollar
enrollment fee and attend the six sessions, you will learn some-
thing that will help you earn more money."
That is a fast revision that no doubt can be bettered, but as the
two sentences are now written they can be spoken more easily
and can be quickly understood. If the main writing you do is in
the business letters you dictate, this illustration gives you a sug-
gestion as to why you must snap out of your usual writing routine.
The tendency to use written words is demonstrated almost every
time one of our generals, admirals, or big business leaders gets a
spot on the radio. We hear such mouthings as, "Let that traditional
friendship be cemented and strengthened and buttressed by mu-
tual labors in behalf of world peace." Out of one five-minute spot
last night I picked these gems—"dawn of a new era"—"despondent
and discordant world"—"relax no effort." I'm certain that most of
our generals, admirals, and tycoons don't talk that way to their
friends. How many times have you smiled at some of the words
52 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
assigned to such casual performers on the radio as the truck driver
testifying for the cough remedy? That's what you are flirting
with when you use your writing vocabulary in a speech. Listen
to Lowell Thomas tonight. I'm sure he knows all the big words,
but note the ones he uses.
Another demonstration of the difficulty of speaking certain
words so that they will be understood comes from the radio com-
mercial. Look at the trouble they have with products with difficult-
to-pronounce names. He spells it once, he spells it twice, and spells
it once again. In television he holds up a card so that you can read
it for yourself.
I have always held the theory that the announcer should write
his own commercials. Then the words would be spoken words —
his spoken words. He could eliminate the adjectives, he would
discard the dangling phrases, he would use only words that he
knew he could hang on to. At times you hear the dear wife growl
at a commercial. Next time she does that try to analyze what the
announcer said. Nine times out of ten you will find that it is the
wording. The man isn't talking like a man. He sounds as if his
mouth were full of mush—written-word mush. Yes, he is trying
to speak written words.
Once we were recording a highly technical script for a sound
film. There were thirty minutes of it, and when the narrator had
it all on the record he threw the script on the floor and cried,
"That's the first time I ever talked Greek for thirty minutes." I
imagine that a lot of announcers feel like that about some of the
material they have to read.
If you write for a living you will probably have a tougher time
writing your speech in spoken words. For, brother, you have a
vocabulary and you can't make too much use of a vocabulary in
a speech that is going to be popular with your audience. Most
writers are afflicted with a whole family of odd words. "Fatuous"
may be one of them, but there are such words as "ordure," "in-
souciance," "truncate," "nuance." Don't think I picked those out
of a dictionary, though I'll confess that I had to go to the dictionary
to check on the spelling and find out what two of them meant.
SPOKEN, NOT WRITTEN, LANGUAGE 53
Those words came out of speeches. I wrote them down as the
men said them. They are not speech words. When you write them
and I can see them in type, I have a chance to study them as well
as hear them. But when you speak them at me, you overwhelm me.
If you are an advertisement writer, you'll have to hold back
with all you have. You can't say "trouble -free service." You can't
use those gems of fine writing like "There's eager yet thrilling
power in the advanced V-8 cylinder engine" or "The gleaming
white porcelain actually laughs off dirt and stain." Those phrases
may be fine for the printed page, but they don't belong in the
spoken speech. Similarly you might write, "He was a mousy,
timorous sort of guy." In print that sentence is description. But
if you are writing it to speak, better write it, "He was a mouse,
and not a very brave mouse at that." If you would describe the
man as mature, better change it to "old," "middle aged," or
"about thirty-five."
Another point to consider is that the audience must hear and
understand the word in the time it takes you to say it. They can't
stop and study it, for you are on to other words and other thoughts.
Thus any word you use must be one that can be understood in the
time it takes you to say it. Use a familiar spoken word and they get
it quickly; use an unfamiliar written word and they may not
understand at all.
I can illustrate this point with two words which indicate size
—"big" and "small." There are a lot of words that can be used
to give the same thought, perhaps not exactly, but still close.
Here are a number that could be used for "small":
petty squat
diminutive
microscopic elfin minute
tiny spare embryonic
stunted little
wee
Any one of that list might be a good written word. But only
a few of them will qualify as spoken words. "Small" is good, and
"little" is good, "tiny" might do, perhaps "wee," but any of the
others might get lost when you speak them.
54 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Now for a number of words that could be used for "large":
huge colossal capacious
enormous great spacious
bulky corpulent
big
giant voluminous immense
Br ob dingnagian ample vast
gargantuan massive tremendous
There are a few more possibles in that list. "Large" and "big"
and "great." Right here you may say, "Wait a minute, Hegarty,
you are going too far." Perhaps I am. But in many speeches I hear
the words "ample" and "vast." As yet I have not heard a place
where they belong. "Immense" will talk well and so will "enor-
mous." "Tremendous" will also. But I would advise you to stop
there.
Now I don't ask you to take my word for this. Listen to the
speakers you hear. Note how many of them use words like "huge"
and "vast." Note also how much better "large" or "big" would
have been in the same place.
Written language has many ways of slipping into speeches. In
telling stories you hear a speaker use such expressions as "he re-
marked" or "he retorted" or "he replied." In speaking it would be
better to use "said" each time. "She said" and "I said" and then
some more of the same. In writing, the variations of "said" cut
down the repetition. But in speaking, those same variations sound
formal or stilted and take away from the life of the story.
Perhaps you want to take a few stories out of the joke book,
that speaker's friend you bought when you thought that someday
you might have to make a speech. That's fine—that's where other
speakers get those same stories. But if you lift that story, try to
learn to tell it in spoken words, not in the words you find in the
book.
As an advertising writer you'll have trouble with adjectives. You
can't throw an adjective in front of a noun and feel that you have
taken care of the problem. You may have to use another sentence
or two to complete your thought. "Crystal clear, flint-like hard-
-
SPOKEN, NOT WRITTEN, LANGUAGE 55
ness" or "exactly right, well-groomed look" or "healthful, invigor-
ating tingle" may be okay for your printed piece, but as speech
material such descriptions are not. Even persons who write for a
living don't talk like that.
Here is a sentence of the kind I mean. It is part of a description
of a fine refrigerator:
"The blue-on-chrome nameplate blends with the blue-and-
chrome trim of the spacious interior."
As a written sentence that might get by. But if you were to use
it as a part of a speech it would be better thus:
"Look at that nameplate—blue on chrome. And look how it
matches the inside of the refrigerator. The inside is blue and chrome
too. And look at the room in that food compartment."
There are more words, yes. But you will have to use more words
in spoken language. The writer has the advantage over the speaker.
The writer can say it all by using a few adjectives. But the speaker
trying to use those adjectives will find himself in trouble. He will
either emphasize the adjective or emphasize the noun and the
partner that was to carry some of the load will be lost.
In the written piece you will find such expressions as "It is not
only this, it is also that." In spoken language the "not only" should
be cut out. It is far better to say, "It is this. And it is also that."
The audience may hear that "not" and then little more of the
sentence.
The same applies to the negative words like "unhappy." It is
better speech material to write it, "She is not happy." Instead of
"unsuccessful" use "not successful" or "without success." The
audience may not get the first syllable. It is always better to "ac-
centuate the positive."
Just a short time ago I heard two fellows commenting on a
speaker. One said, "He can't talk for sour apples." The other said,
"Yeah, but he uses such beautiful phrases." Now those two men
were not speech coaches or literary critics, just two members of
the audience that had listened to a speaker.
Don't worry too much about the exact meaning of words. Per-
haps it is stronger to say that a man "affirms" rather than "says," but
56 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
the audience will understand the latter. Many men pride them-
selves on the use of words that express the speaker's exact meaning.
In a speech those exa ct meanings may be lost entirely.
Those dangling phrases that you find in writing have no place
in a speech. You know the kind: "The knobs are knurled, assuring
even pressure over the whole surface"—or "The shelves are ad-
justable, assuring flexibility for changing storage needs." Those
are not spoken words. The man who says them is talking like a
circular or an advertisement. So let's not write them in.
And while we are discussing the dangling phrases, introductory
phrases like the first part of this sente nce are not good speech
material either. As speech material the preceding sentence would
be best written:
"Introductory phrases are not good speech material. They are
just as bad as dangling phrases."
Here are some more examples.
"With the marked trend in design toward massiveness that looks
like more for the money, Westinghouse is in step with its new line
of electric ranges."
As speech material it would be stronger thus:
"The new Westinghouse ranges look larger. They are larger.
They look like more for the money. That is the trend in design
today—massiveness—in automobiles, in everything you buy."
Another speaker says:
"Without use of trickery or artifice, to prove my point I show
these figures."
Let's take a shot at that:
"Here are some figures. They are from the United States Census.
No trickery, no fooling—they're the McCoy. And do they prove
my point?"
I also heard this one:
"Having wandered pretty far afield, permit me to get back to
my subject."
Okay, Bud, who's holding you back? But let's see what we can
do for that one.
"Let's get back to the subject."
SPOKEN, NOT WRITTEN, LANGUAGE 57
In a case like that, it might be better to sneak back without any
reference to the fact that you wandered all around the half acre.
Then there is the introductory phrase that tries to pack all
the ideas into it. Here is one I noted:
"From this basic consideration of economy of purchase and
use, this appliance is a good buy."
Why not write that:
"This appliance is a good buy. It is a good buy any way you
look at it—low price—low cost of operation."
Just analyze that for speaking effectiveness. You emphasize
"good buy," "low price," "low cost of operation." True wording
has helped some in that emphasis but arrangement has had its share
in the improvement.
Too often the speaker may bury his main idea in that opening
phrase. Or he may overpower the main idea with an opening
phrase that has only minor importance.
Usually you will do better if you write the idea in the opening
phrase as a sentence that stands on its own feet. Then you have a
chance to look at it and judge it on its merits. Perhaps you will
discard it entirely. If it does not help the idea, it is better to give
it the blue pencil. In most cases, the separate sentence improves
the speech. For instance, a speaker says, "If you have read your
newspaper in the last few weeks—." Write that "In the last few
weeks the newspapers have been full of—."
Here is another case:
At the risk of oversimplifying a problem as difficult and complex
as advertising I would suggest, in an effort to be helpful, the follow-
ing formula, which will work, I venture to say, for at least some
of you.
I did not write that statement. It was taken from a speech. But
let's see how we can express that idea in spoken rather than written
words. As you look over that interminable sentence, remember
that each mark of punctuation made a separate sentence when the
sentence was spoken. It is written as one long sentence but it is
spoken as a number of small sentences, and if the speaker does not
58 HOW T O WRITE A SPEECH
stick too closely to the written text it might sound all right. But
let's revise it to get rid of that opening clause:
Advertising is difficult and complex. It can't be simplified too
much. But here is a formula that might help some of you.
There are twenty-two words in that revision instead of the
thirty-nine in the original; three sentences instead of one. Perhaps
some of the meaning is lost, but I doubt that enough is lost to make
any difference to the audience. Remember that they do not get
exact meanings anyway.
All these examples tend to prove the point that it is better to talk
directly. So let's write directly.
In the past few years I have gone over a number of scripts for
speeches and have cut out all the written words and written forms.
It is amazing how these deletions and the substitution of spoken
words have improved the pieces as talking scripts. In my work I
have to look over scripts for training films. Conscientiously I edit
out what I consider written words or forms. Then in the revision
of these scripts the expressions and words creep back in again.
That is because script writers are writers first and perhaps not
talkers at all. You couldn't expect a man to say "the crisp, crunchy,
aromatic goodness." Yet those are good written words. I assume
so because advertisers pay good money to have such copy appear
in print. In fact those words came out of an advertisement in a lead-
ing magazine.
Now what are the points to watch on spoken versus written
language? Let's sum up:
1. Since you have to speak the speech, stick to spoken words.
2. Try for the simplest words to help the audience to under
stand. Not "annually," use "every year"; not "daily," use
"every day."
3. Remember you can't spell out each involved word. The
listeners must understand it as you say it.
4. If you are a writer you will probably have a more difficult
SPOKEN, NOT WRITTEN, LANGUAGE 59
time writing your speeches. You know too many words and
word tricks.
5. Dodge adjectives—particularly those double and triple head
ers that advertising men go for.
6. Watch those dangling phrases, "assuring," etc. They don't
belong in spoken language.
7. Shy clear of negative words. Say it positively.
8. Remember the audience must hear and understand in the time
it takes you to say the word.
The best way to understand this difference between spoken and
written words is to listen to speeches. When you don't understand
a word or phrase, make a note of it. That is how I have come by
most of the ideas expressed here. They are not theories. A speaker
said something that I didn't understand. I made a note of what he
said and when I checked back I found that most the troubles came
because the speaker was using the writer's tricks—trying to get in
all the ideas without using enough words to express the ideas fully.
9- Write It in Units
Writing your speech in units will save you time. It will result in a
better speech. You have a synopsis and the material has been laid
out on paper, in squares, as suggested in Chap. 3. Now as you look
over that layout, what suggests itself? The material breaks up into
a number of parts, doesn't it—parts or units. So let's write this talk
in units.
A unit will be much like a short speech. It will be a short speech
that covers one of the parts of your longer speech. You write a
number of smaller speeches, you put them together, and you have
a long speech.
There are a number of advantages in writing a speech this way.
1. You concentrate your thinking on one unit at a time and you
plan and organize that unit more completely. You are not bothered
by a score of ideas that belong in other units. By working out one
idea only, an idea that will take you three or four minutes to ex
press, you give it more complete coverage.
2. The outline for a complete speech is a real chore, but the out
line for one unit is not too difficult to make. At home tonight you
lay out and assemble the notes on a unit. What points do you want
to make? What data do you have to make those points? What data
do you have to look up? Tomorrow at the office you use the outline
to dictate the unit to the girl or the machine.
3. You are not overwhelmed at the thought of writing a thirty-
minute speech. You are doing a three- or four-minute unit. Think
of the times you have put off writing that speech. You had to take
a day off or give up a whole Sunday. And you sent the wife and
kids off to Grandma's while you went to it. Nighttime found you
60
WRITE IT IN UNITS 61
completely exhausted, not too satisfied with your efforts, and
swearing you'd have your head examined if anyone ever again
talked you into writing a speech. Well, those days are gone forever.
4. You can write a unit at odd times. A few notes on the back of
an envelope while you are waiting for a customer, while you are
on the train or the bus, or those few minutes tonight before the
neighbors show up to play bridge. Always you can find the time
to outline a three- or four-minute unit.
5. By writing in units, you can better appraise the point made by
that unit. Perhaps it is not worth a unit when you get all the evi
dence assembled. A4any times a point that seems important when
you start to write the speech boils itself down to a mere statement
without much to back it up. When that happens under this plan,
the evidence can be combined in another unit or discarded.
6. Under this writing-by-units plan, you have a talk that can be
cut to almost any length. If the complete talk runs to thirty min
utes, you can cut it to twenty by eliminating units. You don't have
to go through the whole speech and cut out some part of each unit.
You eliminate one or more units completely. Since you give each
point complete coverage, the audience will never know that you
have cut anything.
When you get the units written in the first rough form you can
then start to assemble the parts to see how they fit together. Now
you may have to do some revising. The illustration that you used in
one unit may be too similar to one used in another unit. Your
synopsis and your layout on paper will prevent most of this over-
lapping, but still you will find some of it in the completed speech.
If we followed the unit idea in the speech on "How to Run a
Sales Meeting," the one we laid out on paper in Chap. 3, we would
have separate units on—
1. Definition 5. Fumbling
2. Use of Room 6. Use of Charts
3. Variety 7. Audience Participation
4. Interest 8. Competition
9. Ending
62 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Each unit would be built on a simple plan. First, state the point
you are to make. Second, bring out the illustrations that help make
the point. Third, sum up by restating the point. In the unit covering
"Use of Room," you want the audience to think about the room
in which the meeting is to be held and how it can best be used
for a successful meeting. You tell them that the room is important
to the success of the meeting. Then you give the details about the
type of room to select, the shape that is best. Explain why the en-
trance should be in the rear, suggest the seating arrangements, com-
pare the room arrangement they should have with that of a theater.
Explain what to do about the chairman, about a head table, and
about the position of the speaker and his props. In doing this you
discuss the room in which you are speaking. Tell what is good
about it, what is wrong about it. They know this room. Perhaps
they meet in it every week.
Mentioning the room in which the meeting is held is good speak-
ing technique, but I must point out that my coverage of this point
in a talk to the Rotary Club of my home town got me in bad with
the local hotel help. The meeting was held in the hotel ballroom and
the head table was placed in front of a row of street windows. I
told the club that such an arrangement was wrong because it left
the audience looking at the windows. Always the audience should
be seated with its back toward the windows. The next week the
club tried to have the room arranged as I suggested. The hotel help
argued. The club explained that I had suggested it. Then the help
ganged up on me.
After you have covered the points given above, you restate your
premise that the room and the room arrangement are important.
That makes your unit on the room. Each of the other eight units
in the talk might be handled in the same way.
Some units in your talk will break down into bits that can be
used as a separate talk. Time and again I have used the unit above
as a three-minute talk, complete in itself. I don't imagine that the
audiences realized that it was only part of a longer speech, but it has
most of the elements of a good speech. It presents an idea, it gives
illustrations that support the idea, it restates the idea. Of course I
WRITE IT IN UNITS 63
need an introduction and a better ending for this short speech, but
these can be handled in two or three sentences that lead me into and
out of the subject. As an introduction for this unit I usually say a
few words about the training of the trainers. I state that trainers
need to be trained in simple things. "Take the meeting room," I
continue. "Who has ever taught the men who put on your meetings
how much the arrangement of the meeting room can help a meet-
ing?" With such an introduction I can launch into my unit. In three
minutes I have given the audience some ideas and I am done. For
my finish I use, "First, select the best room you can get, and sec-
ond, arrange it to help your meeting." That presents an easy-to-
remember two-step plan to follow.
Since it is always well to be prepared with a few well-chosen
words if you are called on to speak, writing a speech in units can be
a life saver. There are parts in almost every long speech that can be
used in this way.
To give you a better idea of how a unit is built, here is a formula
for you. This formula I got the hard way, by sitting in meetings,
listening to good speakers, and making notes. I can guarantee that
it is sure-fire.
1. State the premise.
2. Quote an ancient.
3. Quote a poet.
4. Quote the Bible.
5. Tell an anecdote about a famous character.
6. Tell a story about an ordinary character.
7. Wind up with a second statement of your premise.
You don't need all these elements to make a good unit. You might
use three or four. One alone can help make your point. You may
state your premise, use one quotation, one story about an ordinary
character, then repeat your premise. Those four parts would make
a unit. That may be enough for a two-minute talk. When you have
more time you might bring in another one of the elements. All of
them are sure-fire. Of course, some speakers don't go in for quoting
ancients, or poets, or even the Bible. That's perfectly all right.
64 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Others don't have a pat story to tell about a famous character.
That's all right, too.
The above list of the seven parts of an elaborate unit should give
you a better idea of what is meant by a unit. Now let's discuss each
of these elements.
STATE THE P REMISE—Tell them what you're going to tell them,
like the Negro preacher. Let's say your premise is, "It Pays to
Smile." Tell them that it pays to smile. Tell them once, then tell
them again in slightly different words.
QUOTE AN ANCIENT—Yes, quote Socrates, Plato, Marcus Aurelius,
Cato, Homer—any known person who lived long ago. Few in the
audience will know the quotation you select, so you can change it
a bit to prove your point. Quoting the ancient on your premise
shows that your idea was a good one thousands of years ago. This
kind of quotation is especia lly good for the professional man who
feels it is good advertising to present some evidence of education.
QUOTE A P OET —Bring in Shakespeare, Emerson, Longfellow,
Robert Service, James Whitcomb Riley, Edgar Guest—on your
premise, of course. What did they say about the value of a smile?
It makes little difference which one you quote so long as he is
known. Again, you are dealing with the unfamiliar. Most people
won't know the quotation; thus it will come as a new idea to them.
QUOTE THE BIBLE—All will agree with what that Good Book says
about the value of a smile. Maybe Plato or Longfellow didn't regis-
ter, but the Bible is sure-fire. Everybody will agree; at least they
won't stand up in a meeting and argue with you.
TELL AN ANECDOTE ABOUT A FAMOUS CHARACTER—This will have
to be strong, for remember that you are building up. What this
character said about a smile must be good. You may have to take
a story you have heard and change it to suit your purpose. Let's
say that there are two million Lincoln stories now. The world is
not going to fall apart because you devise Story number Two Mil-
lion and One.
WRITE IT IN UNITS 65
STORY ABOUT AN ORDINARY PERSON—Here you bring in the type of
person you associate with every day—a taxi driver, a news dealer,
your wife or kids. This happened to you today, to an ordinary
person—you. Always place yourself in this final story. Always give
that personal experience which shows how once it paid you to
smile.
Note the time sequence in this formula for a unit. You start with
long ago and far away and build right up to today. That's good
technique. It is something like the "past, present, future" formula.
The ancient, the poet, the Bible —those all build background for
you. But the audience doesn't quite understand them. They're be -
yond the experience of most persons. Even when you bring in the
famous character you are on unfamiliar ground, for few persons in
your audience know any of the famous. But the story about you
and the taxi driver—ah, now you're talking our language. We know
you, we know the taxi driver.
Here is an example of how to use all seven of these elements in
building a unit.
UNIT FOR A SPEECH
(Following the seven -step formula)
Title: "It Pays To Smile"
1. State the A smile pays. It paid one man one million dol-
pre mise lars per year. When Charles Schwab, the steel
man, was asked what contributed most to his
success, what did he answer? He didn't give
the credit to his knowledge of the steel business,
nor to his ability or his physique. No sir, not
one of them. His answer was, "My smile." He
was one of the greatest salesmen that the world
has known, if not the greatest, and he said his
smile was his greatest asset. His company paid
him one million dollars per year salary. For his
smile. Yet, the trouble with most of us is that
we forget to smile. I walk into a store. Are the
salesclerks glad to see me? I have no way of
telling unless they smile at me and most times
66 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
they do not smile. They seem covered over by
their own worries. They don't seem friendly
and I don't feel too much like buying. I go into
church. Nobody smiles at me and I feel that I
am a stranger. Smile at me and I am more likely
to do business with you. Smile and I feel as if
I belong. Yes, the smile wins. A smile pays big
dividends. Always it pays you to smile.
2. Quote an Marcus Aurelius said, "The man with a smile
makes friends." Now isn't that true? Think of
ancient. (Don't
the person you like best. I mean outside your
hold me to these
immediate family. Isn't one of his big charac-
quotes. I'm sim-
teristics his smile? How much of your liking
ply using them
for him comes because of that smile?
as examples.)
Writers always put it, "A smile lights up his
face." You never read a passage that told you
a smile darkened a character's face. Perhaps a
sneer, or a leer, or a smirk. But never a smile.
A smile lights up your face, the customer's face,
a friend's face, and if you're in business it might
change those little numbers on the cash register.
You have had that happen to you. I was stand-
ing on a street corner in Los Angeles waiting
for a bus. A voice said, "Mister, your shoes
could do with a shine." I looked at my shoes.
They didn't need a shine. I had brushed them
with that little flannel cloth in my hotel room
not ten minutes before. I looked at the boy who
owned the voice. He was smiling up at me. I
smiled back. "Okay," I said, and put my foot
on his little box. The need for a shine had not
made that sale. It was the boy's smile. A smile
does things like that to you.
Shakespeare said, "Smile and the world smiles
3. Quote a
with you. Weep and you weep alone." You
poet. (Why not
have no time for the fellow who is a sourpuss.
the Bard
Nobody wants to do business with him. No -
himself? Don't body wants to associate with him. I have my
look up the own troubles. You have yours. I don't want
quote.)
WRITE IT IN UNITS 67
yours, you don't want mine. On the other hand,
you admire the fellow who laughs off his trou-
bles and who seems to be cheerful no matter
what. Weep if you want to, but you will have
to hunt longer for a shoulder to weep on.
4. Quote the Bible The Bible says, "A soft answer turneth away
wrath." A smile does that too. How can a man
be mean to you if you take it with such good
grace that you smile at him? When you smile
you indicate you want to be friends. Perhaps
you stepped on his foot in a crowd or crossed
him in some way. You might have said, "Pardon
me." But if you smile while you apologize, your
statement means much more to him. The other
day I was looking through the index of one of
those success books. You know the kind that
advises a young man how to succeed. And
what word do you think got the most mention
in the index? Work—that's right. Work was
mentioned twenty-two times. Sweat ten times.
Effort nine times. Thinking thirteen times and
smiling fourteen times. Think of that! Smiling
before thinking or effort or sweat. Only work
got more mention than a smile. And the man
who works and smiles too is on top of the
world.
If Lincoln could smile at a humorous joke or
a cartoon even with the weight of the troubles
of the Union upon him, why should we go
around with grouches over our petty incon-
veniences? The day's mile can be shortened by
prefixing an "s" to it and making it "smile."
5. Anecdote about F.D.R. had a famo us smile. His enemies spoke
a famous char- of his great personal charm. Always in cartoon
and caricature he was pictured with his smile—
a long cigarette holder and a smile. That smile
was an asset, one that won him friends and got
him votes. One of my friends was a bitter anti-
New Dealer, anti-Democrat, anti-Roosevelt.
68 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
One day he was called down to the White
House as a member of a trade committee. He
came away still anti-everything. But not the
committee.
"F.D.R. swayed the committee. He wrapped
them up and tied them with a string," my friend
said. "He's got charm, that fellow. And back of
it all is that damnable smile. Somehow it gets
you." His smile made friends, got votes, and
won over his enemies to work for him. You
know a sincere smile is a rare thing.
The teacher asked little Johnnie, "Johnnie, can
you tell me what a hypocrite is?"
Johnnie answered that one fast. "I think so," he
said. "It's a boy who comes to school with a
smile on his face."
6. Story about an Yes, a sincere smile is a rare thing. It lightens
up your whole day. I was walking up the ramp
ordinary char-
from the Cleveland Union Station one day. A
acter
large, fat fellow stopped me. After greeting me
he said, "You're the first fellow who has come
along here in the last ten minutes without a
frown on his face. Why is everybody frown -
ing?" I looked at the fellow. I had never seen
him before, but his smile indicated that he was
regular and that he would make a good friend
to have. "I don't know," I told him. "I guess
they are worrying about the ills of the world."
It was the best I could think of at the moment.
"That's the trouble with the world," he said.
"Everybody's frowning. Let's stand and watch."
Well, I stood there with him watching.
Everybody hurrying by had a frown on his or
her face. "Why no smiles?" my friend kept
murmuring, and I couldn't answer. Since that
day I have stood on streets, in hotels, in railway
stations, watching the crowds go by. Seldom do
I see a smile. The man with a smi le stands out
WRITE IT IN UNITS 69
in a crowd of people you don't know, just as he
stands out among the persons you know. And
why don't more of us smile? It's easier than
frowning. It takes only five facial muscles to
smile. It takes almost three times as many—
fourteen—to frown. And yet more people
frown than smile. There is no sense in it.
7. Wind-up, If you have any doubt that a smile makes
friends, just try smiling. Remember, you don't
Restate the
feel friendly to a man who looks like a grouch.
premise Smile, then watch your smile t ransfer to other
faces. It's a thrill. Light your face with a smile
and you brighten the world around you. You
make friends and you prove to yourself that a
smile pays—with friends, with business, and
with yourself. The poem puts it very well:
It's easy enough to be pleasant
When the world runs along like a song
But the man worthwhile is one who can
smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
Yes, a smile pays. It paid Charlie Schwab. It
pays the salesperson in the store. It pays the
man who owns the store. And it will pay you.
Try it, please. Tomorrow morning when you
first get up, smile at that fellow in the mirror.
Smile at the girl who gets your breakfast. Smile
at the first ten people you meet. You'll make
your day brighter. And you will help all those
others too.
That shows how a unit can be built. If you happen to need a ten-
minute speech sometime, try this one. I'll bet it will go over well,
for it has all the elements that make for a good speech. It could be
improved by better illustrations, and some research might bring out
better quotations; remember that I said I authored some of those
70 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
quotations and tied them up with a good name. But what I was try-
ing to do was to give you an illustration of how a unit is built.
The unit plan will save time and worry in your speech writing.
It will give you better organization. When you have the units writ-
ten, you can arrange them in the best speech order. Here again are
some of the advantages of this "unit at a time" idea:
1. You confine your thoughts to one small part of the speech.
2. You write only one small part at a time. The "It Pays to
Smile" example runs only about 1400 words.
3. Your material usually breaks up into units. Certain points in
the speech seem to belong together.
4. You strengthen the points by giving them individual treat
ment.
5. You give each point complete coverage.
6. You button up each thought in its own unit. There are no
loose ends. The audience knows what you are getting at and,
what's more, you do too.
7. You can outline a unit in odd moments—when you are wait
ing for the bus, or the friends, or the wife, or the girl friend.
But don't try to keep the outline in your head. Write it
down.
8. When you have the units written you can check one against
the other for similarity of ideas or illustrations.
9. You can appraise the point the unit makes. If it is not strong
enough, you can build it up or discard it.
10. The unit plan allows you to cut the talk to any length. You
don't worry about revising. You leave out one or more units.
11. After the units are done you can shuffle them in the order
that makes the best speech.
12. With a number of these units on hand you are always pre
pared to make a few choice remarks on your favorite subject.
Now that you are familiar with the unit plan, let's write the first
unit. Which one will it be? Why, the end, of course.
10. Write the End First
Now that we have the synopsis and layout and have discussed the
language to use, let's write the end of our speech first. Since we are
writing the speech in units, it makes no difference what part you
write first.
Starting with the end has a number of advantages. Not long ago
I heard a speaker wind up his story with, "As I said when I started,
I didn't know what to tell you in ten minutes. But I've told you this
—I think that's all I've got to say." Can't you picture the audience
sitting on its hands after that ending? Can't you imagine the de-
flated feeling of the speaker? He had been asked to talk. He had
prepared a speech but in the time available he could only organize
the start and the body of his speech; he never got around to the
ending. Now if he had prepared a good ending, I'm sure the audi-
ence would have thought better of him. No matter how good your
speech, if you end like a slow leak, you are certain to leave a bad
impression.
Your speech should have a good ending because that is where
you sum up, restate your main theme, or give the audience the in-
formation on what they are to do.
A well-shaped ending gives you confidence. If you write the
beginning of the speech first, you are certain to put most of your
ideas up in front. Then you run out of ideas and wonder where you
will go from there. That's the weakness of most of the speeches
you hear. They start at top speed. At the high point, the audience
is won over and is ready to do something. But as the speaker goes
on, the enthusiasm of the group goes down, down, down, until at
the finish the enthusiasm which had been built up earlier has been
71
72 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
completely dissipated. By writing the end first you can prevent
that.
Your audience will be more impressed if you end your speech by
giving them some kind of formula for action. If you want them to
do something, to study something, to think about something, give
them a formula for doing it. When you leave a formula with them
it is apparent that you have thought out this project of yours and
that you know exactly what you want them to do. Second, you
make clear to them exactly what you want.
The formula may be a simple plan of greeting, no more compli-
cated than—
1. You smile.
2. You offer your hand.
3. You say, "Howdy."
Just as simple as that. Such formulas never fail. Take the story
you want the audience to remember, the job you want them to do,
the something you want them to think about, and put the action
into the steps of a simple formula. Make it as simple as the one
above and you'll get more of them to do what you want.
That's because you specify the job. You pin it down. Many
times you have heard people talk for hours, trying to get you
steamed up about a subject. When they finished you were willing
to do something, but they didn't tell you how. So you went home,
thinking that you'd like to do something about it but not knowing
where to start. They didn't give you a formula.
In writing the formula, first explain that there is one. Give it and
list the steps. Then name the first point, elaborate on it, and explain
fully what they are to do and how.
Go on to your second point. Follow the same plan in explaining
that.
Then give step number three, handling it the same way. As you
finish, repeat the three points.
Some of the best speeches you have heard ended with such a
formula. You listened to them and you went away convinced that
you had something to do, for the man had told you exactly how to
WRITE THE END FIRST 73
do it. Such formulas are sure-fire speech material. They help you
organize the subject. And they help keep it organized in the mind
of the listener as he sits there listening. So let's give the audience a
formula. Here are some suggestions that may help:
A sales manager might tell a group of salesmen: Here is what to
do—it's easy—it's simple.
1. Call on ten stores this week.
2. Show the product and explain the deal.
3. Ask for the order.
A speaker for a cause might finish:
1. Send a postcard to your congressman.
2. Write a letter to three friends, asking them to do the same.
3. Telephone three local friends and ask them to send a postcard.
A speaker for a fund drive might finish:
1. Call on your ten prospects.
2. Go through the fund circular with them.
3. Ask each to contribute ten dollars.
Get the idea? Make your formula as simple as you can. Don't list
too many points. More than three points becomes confusing.
Maybe you need four steps for this deal you are presenting. Perhaps
five. But don't go beyond five. It's difficult for people to remember
that many steps. Keep the steps down to three and you'll get more
of your audience to follow the ones you suggest.
But let's get on with the writing. First, write on a piece of paper
the points you want to make in your summation. If you want to tell
them what to do and how to do it, write that down. In my talk on
the sales meeting, I want the audience to realize that most of the
training of sales people who sell their goods is given in sales meet-
ings. I want to impress that point on them. Next I want them to put
on better sales meetings. My story on that, in a three-step ending, is:
1. Teach your sales people to put on better meetings. If you do,
you'll—
74 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
2. Have better trained salesmen who will sell more goods, and
3. Because you sell more goods you'll keep a few more men
working at your factories.
The three points tell the audience what they are to do and why
they should do it. It's a bit wordy, for a real bang-up ending, so
let's shorten it:
1. Put on b etter training meetings.
2. Your salesmen will sell more.
3. You'll have more men working at your factory.
That ending is brief, it is fast, you can say it quickly and sit
down. It will make a good last paragraph, but it is not a complete
ending. Let's look at the chart layout on this talk and see what we
collected for the ending:
Don't let end flicker out
Recess before end
Write end first
Story of man called upon without idea
The three-step ending
Finally—in conclusion
Let's start writing from those notes and see what we have.
Mark Twain tells a story about a preacher and his sermon. When
the speaker had been going for five minutes, Mark was willing to
drop two dollars in the collection plate. When the preacher had
been going for ten minutes he was willing to put out a dollar. When
the sermon had been going for thirty minutes, he felt that the
preacher owed him money.
Five minutes, two dollars; ten minutes, one dollar; thirty minutes,
not a red cent. That's the way it is with so many meetings.
One way to keep from owing the audience money is to plan the
end of the meeting first. That may sound like putting the cart be-
fore the horse, but it can make good sense, for the finish is most
likely to give the impression the listeners take home. Some speakers
WRITE THE END FIRST 75
write the end of their speeches first and then go back and build
the start and the middle up to that end. The same plan can be used
for the end of your meeting.
Always there is some idea you want to sell or something you
want the audience to do. Ask yourself, "What do I want to sell?"
or "What do I want them to do and how will they do it?"
The answer to those two questions will give you a clear picture
of what you want to cover in that end. If you are selling an idea,
you may want to cover it at the start of the speech, but don't for-
get to bring it in again at the end. They are more likely to remem-
ber it if you bring it up again just before they go home. If you
are assigning a task, tell them what they are to do, and why and
how, and give them any other information they need. If at the
end of the meeting you are talking about what the group is to do
and how it is to do it, they leave you knowing.
You have all heard the chairman of your club put one of the
brothers on the spot by asking him to say a few words on some
club project. Slowly brother so-and-so gets to his feet. He starts in
a low voice. He urns and ahs. He is off his base and it is quite
apparent to all in the meeting that he is up the creek without the
proper equipment, but bravely and futilely he goes on. Finally he
reaches the point where he feels that he has done his duty by the
club and the chairman and he ends lamely, "Well, fellows, that's
all I got to say." Too many meetings end like that. "Well, that's it,
boys, any questions?" Many times they add, "If not, I'll be glad to
buy you all a beer." It's just like Porky Pig lisping, "That's all,
folks."
Now I'm going to give you a tip that will make you seem like
a smart fellow when the chairman puts you on the spot with a re-
quest that you say a few words on one of the club projects, to
which you have given little or no thought. The usual procedure is
to out with an envelope and start making notes of what you'll say.
Now it's okay to make the notes, but not on what you'll say—make
them only on your ending. Don't worry about what you'll say at
any time except in that minute before you sit down. On that en-
velope write—
What you must remember to do, say, tell others (use the one that
fits) about this matter is —
76 HOW TO WRITE A SP EECH
First, this
Second, this
Third, this
Now sit down and you have left a good impression.
So when the chairman says that he is going to call upon you for
a few remarks, don't try to figure out what you are going to say
during the start of the speech. If you try to work out a complete
speech, you won't get it done. But you almost always have time to
work out a three-step finish. Get that end worked out. Then when
you are called, get up slowly, start on the low beat. Um and ah
as much as you want in the start and middle of your remarks. Then
when you have taken up the time you think you should, throw
your three-step plan at them—
First, go jump in the lake.
Second, swim out.
Third, hang your clothes up to dry.
Now sit down and the crowd will say, "That guy surely knows
his stuff." You'll be surprised at the number of members who will
compliment you on your remarks. You're the same fellow—old
Mac without an idea—but your organized ending will make you
seem like a new Mac.
Why, just last week I got a letter fro m a fellow who heard me
make this speech and give this suggestion. He wrote, "Hegarty,
that's a swell suggestion. I tried it out last week in a meeting of
one of my clubs. I didn't have an idea on the subject when the
president told me he would call on me. I didn't try to think up
any either. I took your tip and concentrated on a three-step end-
ing. Did it work? Brother, I wowed them. So much so that they
appointed me chairman of the committee to carry out the project.
Mr. Hegarty, if you have any more suggestions like that—well, I'm
too much of a gentleman to tell you what to do with them."
That's gratitude for you. But it shows that the suggestion
works. Try it next time.
Don't bring your audience to the end of your meeting dead
tired. If you are assigning a job in that ending, give them a recess
just before the end—perhaps ten or fifteen minutes. Then when
they come back refreshed, assign the task.
One of my friends says, "Always I have a good ending to my
WRITE THE END FIRST 77
speeches. Then if the place catches on fire when I am half finished,
I can bring out my end and wind up as I planned to." He was
joking, but he did have a point. Many times you are in a spot
where you want to wind up your meeting in a hurry. If you have
a good ending, you can bring it out when you see it is time to stop.
I am spending this much time on the ending because the finish is
usually the weak part of the sales meeting. You can do a lot to
make the end of your meetings better, and you can do even more
to make the whole of your sales meetings better. You have seen
everything I have talked about today happen in meetings; you have
seen most of it happen in your own meetings. It is easy to correct
these meeting faults. I say that because I have tried. I have worked
with men who put on meetings one at a time and with groups of
them, and the improvement that these men showed in their presen-
tations was amazing. You can do that too. Work with your men
who put on meetings, teach them how to do this job, and you too
will be surprised at the results. The fellow who can't speak for
sour apples becomes a better speaker. The one who fumbles does
things easily. The one who seemed uncertain gives the appearance
of an expert. These fellows don't make mistakes because they want
to. They do it because they don't know better. And since you're
the boss, it's your job to teach them to do better.
Such instruction will pay off handsomely for you. When you
consider that most of the training of salesmen who sell your goods
is done in sales meetings, it doesn't take a mathematician to see
that if you—
1. Put on better sales meetings,
2. Your salesmen will sell more, and
3. You'll have more men working at the factory.
There is an ending that ends. It can no doubt be improved, but
it gives you an example. It is an ending that I have used forty or
fifty times, changing it a bit now and then to suit conditions. Note
that I don't say "finally" or "in conclusion" in any part of it.
Don't tell them you are going to end. Sneak up on them with that
ending. Let your story build up logically to that end, but don't tell
them that you will be finished in a few minutes. Surprise them—
they like it.
78 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
With that end written, the balance of the speech may be changed
a bit so that it builds up to the end. Note that the philosophy of the
speech is stated at the end—the big selling point is brought out
here so that the audience will remember it. It is the idea I want them
to take home, so I place it where they will be most likely to re-
member it.
Now let's review the points that have been made:
1. The ending gives the impression the audience takes home. For
that reason it should be good.
2. The end of your speech is where you sum up. Make sure that
you do sum up in your ending.
3. If you want the audience to do something, write out the in
structions and use them for the ending.
4. The formula is good for the ending. Give the audience a
formula —first, this; second, that; third, the other.
5. When you wind up with a formula, use as few steps as pos
sible.
6. Get the habit of using the three-step-formula ending for the
extemporaneous speech.
7. Don't write "finally" or "in conclusion" in your ending. Let
your ending sneak up on the audience.
8. Don't wind up with the perennial "Thank you." Make your
words finish for you.
9. Put what you want them to remember, what you want them
to do, in that end.
11. Start with a Smile
SMILE!
That's the first word you'll write at the beginning of this talk
of yours. Write it down in capital letters. It isn't a word you'll
speak; it's a stage direction.
Sounds silly, doesn't it? But here's why you start your talk with
a smile. After the introduction, speaker after speaker stands up and
scowls at his audience. Others simply try to look dignified. Just
picture the situation. Here you stand before the group, a total
stranger. If you scowl at the audience, they scowl back at you.
If you try to look dignified, they groan inwardly and sit back ex-
pecting the worst. But if you smile, your smile transfers itself to
their faces and, brother, you're off to a head start.
But this is to be a serious speech, you say. Maybe so, but you're
glad to be there, aren't you? Yes, with your knees knocking to-
gether and your throat constricted, you're still glad to be there.
And so you smile. You must write it down at the start of your
speech so that, first, you'll remember it, and second, you'll plan
just how you will smile.
Perhaps at this moment, as you are writing the beginning of your
speech, you may see little to smile about. But there will be plenty.
Why, when you stand up to speak, you'll have just heard the chair-
man introduce you. That's good for a smile always, perhaps a
laugh. To you, anyway, his verbal efforts to convince people that
he has brought a real big number to talk to them should be good for
a smile. And if he gave no better break than to say you were a
brother-in-law of Mr. X, who happened to be in town, you can
smile at that. You can smile at the things he should have said but
didn't. Yes, you can smile at what he said and at what he left out.
79
8O HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Then you can smile about what you thought when they first
asked you to make this speech. Now you're there looking at the
group to whom you are to talk. Think back to what you thought
about them when you received the invitation. That should be good
for a smile, for never are they what you imagined.
Just to show you what a smile does to the audience, I am going to
give you a demonstration that I give to audiences. I have a chart
with the illustration you will see be low. There is nothing on this
chart but the circle and the curved line. Keeping the chart covered,
I say, "I want to give you a demonstration of the value of a smile.
Now I want you to look intently at this chart—all of you—look in-
tently at this chart." When I have full attention I show the il-
lustration. Try it, please; look intently at this illustration for ten
seconds.
You are now smiling. That illustration isn't a complete face. It
is just an outline with a line to represent a mouth. But you are
smiling back at it. Now if I can get you to smile with a simple
drawing on a sheet of paper, think what you can do with a friendly
smile when you face your audience.
So start by writing it down. Make it the first word. Get it right
up there at the top of the first page, even before the "Ladies and
gentlemen—." Make it such an important part of your talk that you
can't forget it.
If you get up there without a plan for that smile, you may forget
it. So write it down now.
SMILE
That will get you off to a good start.
12.- Once upon a Time
Back three chapters I wrote a sample unit for you. How did it start?
With a story, of course. Not a funny story, but an anecdote about
Charles Schwab. That is a good way to start any speech. Tell an
anecdote about the chairman of the meeting, the wife and kids, the
persons in the hall. "Once upon a time" is always your best bet for
a start.
In the days of vaudeville the monologist started with, "On my
way over from the hotel. . . ." Today the radio comedian varies
that to, "On my way to the studio tonight. . . ." Why? Because by
telling a story he is catching and holding your interest. Few of us
can resist the appeal of a story.
Any expert speaker uses stories to catch and hold your interest.
They are his main stock in trade. Listen to any good speaker and,
no matter what his subject, sooner or later he bobs up with an anec-
dote. He uses the story to make a point, to build up an idea, to bring
back your lagging interest, and to do scores of other speaking jobs.
The story makes ordinary material more interesting. Not long
ago I was helping a speaker with a speech. At one point he planned
to describe a gadget that would help retail salespeople sell electric
roasters. In his written talk he had this line, "This particular gadget
will help you sell electric roasters."
There was nothing wrong with that line. What he said was true.
The gadget had been used and it had helped make sales. But that
statement—just nine words—didn't sound very impressive to me.
"How do you know that gadget will help them make sales?" I
asked.
"Because a little redhead in the Newark store told me it sold three
roasters for her last week.
81
82 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"Why not tell it that way?" I asked. He did, and he increased in -
terest in his gadget and also improved his chances of holding the
attention of his audience. Both of those methods—the statement and
the story —expressed the same thought, but how differently! And
it's such differences that make one speech dull and another interest-
ing.
How d id he put his gadget into an anecdote? Well, here's how it
could be done:
The other day I was over in the Newark store. They told me
that one of the salespeople had sold two roasters per day for the
last two weeks. Now that was something—two per day for two
weeks—and so I thought I'd look up this superman and see how
the job was done. Well, my superman turned out to be a super-
lady—a little redhead named Betsy. When I asked her how come,
she showed me this little gadget. Now look at that (hold up
gadget). Doesn't look like much, does it? But she told me that this
gadget was the reason for her success. With it she had made that
sales record. Here's how she used it. . . .
With that, the speaker demonstrates the gadget. Note how
the anecdote plays up the gadget. It doesn't get sidetracked
on the saleslady or her sales methods—it sticks to its point
and focuses interest on the gadget.
That's what the anecdote should do. It should help you
towards some objective. In opening an after-dinner talk I
always try to start in a humorous vein. I talk to a lot of sales-
executive clubs and usually a member of the club will take
me aside before the dinner and explain how good the
preceding speakers have been. And so I have a number of
anecdotes about how the various clubs have needled me to
try to get a good talk out of me. I start with one story about
arriving in a town at six forty-five in the morning and being
met by six members of the club. As each shook my hand, he
said, "Ed, we're glad to have you down here. The last
speaker we had was good."
I tell three such stories, then I tell what the member of the
local club did to me. With those four stories I establish the
fact that I am a regular fellow and that I am going to make a
good speech. Since
ONCE UPON A TIME 83
they like the stories I am telling, they feel they will like the speech
too.
Even the stories that bring a laugh should help make a point.
However, to this audience the story will be interesting whether or
not it makes a point. I have one story I use to prove this point. I
tell the story and they listen with interest. They even laugh when
I finish my gag line. Then I tell them that the story made no point,
yet they listened because it was a story.
I have a plan on these stories that may help get your point across:
1. State your point.
2. Tell your anecdote.
3. Restate your point.
In the story on the gadget that sold roasters, the speaker could
say:
"This little gadget will help you sell electric roasters. I'm going
to tell you why I know it will help you. . . ."
Now he tells the story about the little redhead. Then he restates
his point.
"If that little lady can sell electric roasters by using this gadget,
you can too."
The other day a friend was describing a speech he heard. "This
fellow wasn't telling funny stories," he said. "He was making a
point with every one of them. But he had that audience laughing
almost continuously." I have heard speakers like that and so have
you. They get laughs and make points.
Such stories are not difficult to find. This noon at lunch a man
tells you something. Tonight when you go home and tell the wife
what happened at lunch today, you are telling a story. When you
start, "Today at lunch. . . ." she is all ears.
Perhaps the story you heard at lunch is not in the form which
will help make a point for you, but you can put it into a form to
make good speech material. Not long ago I was asked to talk to a
group of college professors. Somewhere I had heard this definition
of education, "The incompetent teaching the incomprehensible to
the ignorant." I thought I might use that to start my speech. But
84 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
to follow my rule of starting with a story, I built an anecdote
around this line:
When I was asked to make this speech to you today, I was a bit
worried. Speaking to college professors isn't in my line. So I did
what we always do around our shop when we're in a spot like that.
I went to see a wise man. We have one of those in our place. One
who knows the answers to everything. So I went to him, I told
him my troubles, and he said: "There is no reason why you should
be afraid of those people. Why, those college professors are just
like anybody else. Don't you know what education is?" he asked.
"No," I replied. "What is education?"
"Simply the incompetent teaching the incomprehensible to the
ignorant."
When you build a story around such a line, don't make the story
too short. The line itself might have done for a starter, but it may
have been said too fast for the group to get its meaning. Notice that
even with the story I followed the method of the interlocutor in
the minstrel show and repeated the question, "What is education?"
That built up more interest in the last line.
Both of the anecdotes had a place in these talks. The first illus-
trated a point. The second built up a wisecrack that might have
been lost had it been quoted as a definition. As you write your talk,
you will have to spot stories such as these all through the script.
You need them to hold interest. To prove this, check the next good
talker you hear.
This means that you will have to analyze the material you have
for story possibilities. If you have a wisecrack like the one about
education, see how you can put it in story form. Usually you can't
pick stories out of a newspaper or a book and use them as they are
written. Stories printed in books are usually in written language.
In the book, a line of conversation may read, " 'But that's not true!'
he exclaimed, showing the first sign of irritation." You can't speak
words like that. So if you were using a story written in that kind of
language, you will have to revise it. Some such stories require a
lot of revision, others can be changed easily. Let's show by an actual
ONCE UPON A TIME 85
example what I mean. Here is a story picked out of a joke book.
Let's say you want to use it. Here is how it appears in the book:
"I think it's so exciting eating oyster stew," observed the con-
versational waiter to the diner. "There's always the chance you
may find a pearl."
"Humph!" growled the customer, poking about his bowl wit h
his spoon, "I'll settle for an oyster."
Now what's wrong with that story as speech material? First,
it is in written language. Second, it gives the diner the gag line.
Now let's put the story into a form that will go over well
in a speech.
The other day I went into a restaurant, sat down at a table,
picked up the menu, and the first thing that struck my eye was
oyster stew. That'll be just about right, I thought. When the waiter
came I placed the order. The waiter went off, and soon he was back
with the crackers and the hot stuff. Well, I was feeling expansive,
it was a fine sunshiny day, and just to make conversation I said,
"You know it's exciting to eat oyster stew. There's always the
chance that you might find a pearl."
The waiter looked at me without saying a word, then he smiled.
"Why the smile?" I asked.
He shook his head, "Brother, in the stew you get here, you'll
be lucky to find an oyster."
Now it makes a good story for a speech. Note the changes I
made. I cut "observed the conversational waiter," "growled the
customer," "Humph!" "diner." Those changes were made to cut
out expressions that could not be easily spoken. Another change I
made was reversing the characters. When you tell a story you can-
not be the hero. You must always figure as a goat. If there is a
joke, let it be on you. When you tell a story in which you are the
hero, you seem to the audience to be showing off. When you re-
verse the order and let the joke be on you, they feel you are a regular
guy, one of them.
Note also that I put myself into the narrative. Now the story is
something personal. By having this happen to me, I make the story
86 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
much more effective than if it happened to a friend of mine. Al-
ways inject yourself into your stories. This is the number one rule
of effective storytelling. Don't say it happened to a small boy; make
it your son. If it is a lady, have it your wife. If your story pictures
a woman bawling out her husband, have it your wife heckling you.
The audience can picture you. As you tell the story you are certain
to take on the facial expressions you would if this action were hap-
pening to you. When the story is about you, you can't help acting
out the experience for them to see. So put yourself into your
stories.
Not long ago I heard a young priest do a sermon. His technique
was:
1. Tell a story that made a point.
2. Button up the point.
3. Repeat one and two.
It was a good technique. He kept everybody's interest by telling
a story that made a point. Then he would repeat the point and stress
it. But the stressing lasted only for a few sentences. When he saw
that they tired of his stressing, he switched to another point-making
story.
This young man had learned that people will listen to stories.
There are so many stories all around you. Something happens in
the barbershop, or on the bus, or on the train—all these are in-
teresting speech material. Shape them to your needs. Tell them in a
way that helps prove your point. And your group will always
listen, for from the time they were little kids they have not been
able to resist the appeal of "Once upon a time. . . ."
The anecdote is about the most useful speaking tool you have.
The story can be used to make ordinary material interesting. So
practice using stories to make points. Do it in conversation, in con-
ferences. You will find that the anecdote holds interest where the
same material handled in other ways may not make much im-
pression at all.
Now let's review the points made in this chapter.
ONCE UPON A TIME 87
1. Stories hold interest even though they don't make a point that
advances the objective of the speech. You have heard the
speaker who tells a funny story that has no relation at all to
the point he is discussing. Avoid that, if you have the will
power. It takes a strong man.
2. Give the story a job. See that the story makes your point. If
it brings a laugh, consider that a plus. If the laugh overshadows
the point, switch to another story that makes the point, per
haps without a laugh.
3. Don't write the story so short that the audience will not under
stand it. Elaborate on it, write it longer.
4. Be sure that the story is not in written language. Next time
you read a joke in a newspaper you will see what I mean. You
may smile at the wording in the newspaper, but if you use
that wording before an audience, listeners will feel that you
have memorized the gag. A man who says, "I would like to
relate an incident . . . ," is asking for it.
5. If there is a butt in the story, let it be you. The audience likes
the character who is the butt of jokes. Look at the popularity
of Jack Benny.
6. Wherever possible put yourself in all the stories you tell.
Don't tell what happened to a friend of yours or an acquaint
ance or a neighbor. Even if it did happen to one of them, when
you tell the story, have it happen to you.
88 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"Well, glad I saw you."
"Likewise."
Sounds something like Danny Kaye, but it doesn't prove any-
thing except that some persons can do a lot of gabbing and not say
anything. If you were trying to prove that persons can use a lot of
words without saying anything, this brilliant bit of conversation
would prove your point. Every member of your audience has had
a part in such give-and-take conversation. For that reason, they
would get your point. So let's agree that any dialogue you write
will attempt to get you somewhere. The conversation with the
drunk in the bar and grill leads to the gag line. The dialogue with
the little redhead in Chap. 12 leads to her explanation of the
gadget that sold roasters for her. If in my speech I report that
I said "Good morning" to the doorman at the hotel and he said,
"Good morning, Mr. Hegarty," I don't seem to be getting any-
where. But if I tell you his retort was, "Your fadder's mustache," I
am leading you into a struggle. When you write conversation, hit
always at the point you want to make.
Such dialogue can be used to break up long stretches of descrip-
tion, exposition, or explanation. Let's say this speech of yours is
presenting a plan. There are four features to your plan. Under each
feature you have listed the reasons why the audience will benefit
from that feature. If your first feature had three such reasons, you
might write, "The first reason why you'll benefit from this feature
is this and this. . . . The second reason is this and this. . . . The
third reason is this and this. . . ." Most speakers would handle their
reasons why in that manner. But not us. We now know that we
could put a little dialogue into one or more of those reasons and
make the speech more interesting. We'd write
The first reason you'll benefit from this feature is this. . . . How
do I know? Well, Charlie Whosis says, "This reason is good. I've
tried it and it works."
We could carry that conversation with Charlie as far as it served
our purpose. We could ask,
SPRINKLE WITH CONVERSATION 89
bars and grills to which he delivered his ice. Before long he got so
that he knew which bars had roast beef on which days and he got
to know all the men who ran the places. Well, on this particular
day he went into the place selected, sat himself at the bar, and
ordered his lunch. It was a little before noon and the place was
empty except for a drunk who was sitting in one of the booths,
working on a crossword puzzle in the morning newspaper.
The boy had just about started on his lunch when the drunk
lifted his head and called to the bartender, "Hey, Joe, what's a
three-letter word that means wamph?"
Without turning his head, the boy called, "Wamph!"
The drunk wrote that down and a few minutes later he again
called, "Hey, Joe, ¦ what's a four-letter word that means "Smalf?"
Without turning, the boy called, "Smalf."
The drunk wrote that in and was silent for a few minutes, filling
in other spaces; then again he called, "Hey, Joe, what's a five-letter
word that means "Mulku?"
A third time without turning, the boy called "Mulku."
It was too much for the drunk. He lifted his head, he shook him-
self, and called, "Hey, kid, if you're so damn smart, why you
peddlin'ice?"
Now there is a story with no point at all. I call this to the atten-
tion of the audience after I have told the story. I tell them, "I have
held your interest all through the telling of the story. Why? Be-
cause gossipy conversation interests you; you want to hear what
the drunk said, what the boy said, and what Joe said."
That gives you an example of how to use conversation. Let's get
on with some of the points we have to consider when such small
talk is written into a speech. Perhaps the first rule is that it should
take you somewhere. A conversation like the following gets no-
where fast.
"Hello."
"How're ya?"
"OK, and you?"
"So, so."
"You're lookin' good."
"So're you."
90 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"Well, glad I saw you."
"Likewise."
Sounds something like Danny Kaye, but it doesn't prove any-
thing except that some persons can do a lot of gabbing and not say
anything. If you were trying to prove that persons can use a lot of
words without saying anything, this brilliant bit of conversation
would prove your point. Every member of your audience has had
a part in such give-and-take conversation. For that reason, they
would get your point. So let's agree that any dialogue you write
will attempt to get you somewhere. The conversation with the
drunk in the bar and grill leads to the gag line. The dialogue with
the little redhead in Chap. 12 leads to her explanation of the
gadget that sold roasters for her. If in my speech I report that
I said "Good morning" to the doorman at the hotel and he said,
"Good morning, Mr. Hegarty," I don't seem to be getting any-
where. But if I tell you his retort was, "Your fadder's mustache," I
am leading you into a struggle. When you write conversation, hit
always at the point you want to make.
Such dialogue can be used to break up long stretches of descrip-
tion, exposition, or explanation. Let's say this speech of yours is
presenting a plan. There are four features to your plan. Under each
feature you have listed the reasons why the audience will benefit
from that feature. If your first feature had three such reasons, you
might write, "The first reason why you'll benefit from this feature
is this and this. . . . The second reason is this and this. . . . The
third reason is this and this. . . ." Most speakers would handle their
reasons why in that manner. But not us. We now know that we
could put a little dialogue into one or more of those reasons and
make the speech more interesting. We'd write
The first reason you'll benefit from this feature is this. . . . How
do I know? Well, Charlie Whosis says, "This reason is good. I've
tried it and it works."
We could carry that conversation with Charlie as far as it served
our purpose. We could ask,
SPRINKLE WITH CONVERSATION 91
"How many times have you tried it, Charlie?" "Four
times yesterday, three times the day before." "And
what happened?" "Everybody approached but one
said 'yes.' "
If it was to your advantage, you could use another question to
bring out why that one person said "no." That's always the measure
of how far you should go. Will it help you prove a point? If not,
you sign off.
It is not difficult to see that such conversation would hold the
interest of a group. Of course, you wouldn't have to use it on all
your points or all your reasons. But by sprinkling it in with the
straight exposition, you get variety that holds interest.
When you use dialogue that comes out of your experience, re-
write it to give it sparkle. Don't use dull conversation. Most small
talk is dull. Often you can change a few words and put more life
into what you said and he said. Don't worry about trying to make
your own speech brilliant. Whenever possible give the smart speech
to the other fellow.
When you write dialogue you have to make it sound real. Don't
have a mechanic say, "I reinstalled the new engine." He'd probably
say, "I put in the new engine." In writing dialogue into your speech
you may have to depart from my previous advice about using your
own language, for the language of the character in your story may
not be yours at all. Don't have your dialogue say, "I'm going to
conduct a meeting." Chances are that the man would say, "I'm
going to put on a meeting" or "I'm going to run a meeting."
Don't write, "I have to prepare an address." Make it "I'm going to
write a speech." Certain characters might use that "prepare an ad-
dress" line. If you are one, use it. But 99.44 per cent of the people
you quote will say, "I've got to write a speech."
You can build up any story by conversation. The anecdote in
the preceding chapter about the redhead and the gadget that
helped her sell roasters could have been built up by adding more
dialogue. Here's how.
92 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
I had heard about this salesman who had been selling two roasters
per day, so when I went into the store I said to the manager, "I
hear you got a superman over here who has been selling two roast-
ers per day—can I meet him?"
"You sure can," said the manager, "but it's not a superman, it's
a superwoman."
"A woman?" I said.
"Yeah, a woman, a nifty little redhead at that."
You can take it from there. Note, though, that the conversation
is natural, the man talks like a store manager. And that's a rule you
must follow. If you quote a truck driver, make the words sound
like a truck driver, not the English teacher down at the high school.
If you quote the English teacher, change the style. Put it in the
words of the English teacher, but don't, for goodness' sake, get
your wires crossed.
In writing conversation into your speech, don't use such ex-
planations as "he replied" or "he retorted." I mentioned this in
Chap. 8, but now we are discussing dialogue and I bring it up again
for emphasis. Use only "I asked" and "he said." The other words
are used to give variety to a written piece, but from most speakers
they sound out of place. To prove this to yourself, try telling a
few stories with "he replied" or "he retorted" or similar expressions,
then with the simple "ask" and "said." You will sell yourself on
using the latter.
Another problem in writing conversation for use in a speech is
that you can't use expressions which show how the characters re-
act. You can write: "he said, the color rising to his face," or "his
eyes wild with hate." You can't even say, " 'Says who?' he asked
sarcastically." It is easy to write such explanations, but you'd sound
silly speaking them. If you want to show the feelings of your char-
acters, you have to do it with what they say and the manner in
which you report what they say.
A further problem is that the people in your conversation must
register their personalities. You have to have a good picture of the
people you are quoting and you have to register that picture in the
way you report what they say. When you quote Pete, the bar-
SPRINKLE WITH CONVERSATION 93
tender in the grill across the street, you have to know Pete well
enough to give a good impression of how he would handle the
words of wisdom you are having him say. All characters in your
conversations must have identities. One can talk fast, one slow, one
deep, one high, one Yank, one Southern. Get the idea? For when
you do this conversation, it must sound real.
You can get such gossip for your speech by going out and asking
questions of the people you want to quote. Ask questions, listen to
their answers, and then write the questions and the answers into
your speech.
You know the point you want to illustrate. Then ask a question
that will get the kind of answer you want. Perhaps the answer may
not be exactly what you need, but you can revise it to make it fit.
The answer may be too brief—you may understand it, and the man
who makes the statement may understand it—but you want the
audience to understand, so you may have to expand the answer. At
other times, the answer may be too wordy. Then you will have to
get out the blue pencil and cut.
When you are writing your talk, ask questions of the kind of
persons who will be in your audience and you will get answers that
you can use. Then when you do the speech before an audience,
ask questions of the persons who heard you. The answers can be
strengthened and used in later meetings.
No, you don't have to pick gossip out of thin air. You can go out
and manufacture it yourself. Just listen tonight when you ask a
question. One of the audience will say, "I tried that, and this is
what happened." Tomorrow night you can repeat what the fellow
said tonight. Now it's a story, and by quoting your conversation
you have gossip. You make your point, and you drive it home with,
"Last night over in Springfield, so and so said this. . . ."
Conversation can liven your speech. It can help keep the audi-
ence awake. Since everybody likes to listen to gossip, they'll invari-
ably start listening again when you tell them this gossip. Therefore,
get some conversation into your talk. What he said to me, what I
said to him—that's the stuff. Write it in. Audiences love to listen
to it.
94 H O W T O W RITE A SPEECH
There have been a lot of suggestions on using conversation in this
chapter. Let's review them:
1. Conversation is lively. Description and exposition are dull.
Break up the latter with conversation and you have a much
livelier speech.
2. Conversation breaks up the body of a speech just as it does
a story in a magazine.
3. Audiences listen to conversation, even though it is pointless.
They like it, too.
4. Conversation must get you somewhere, if it is to be useful to
you. Plan it to help you make your point.
5. When you have a long stretch of straight talk, break it up
with conversation.
6. Carry on the conversation as long as it serves its purpose.
Don't pad it and don't cut it short.
7. Rewrite all conversation for sparkle. Make it bright and
sprightly.
8. Avoid the stiff and stilted. You are better if you don't quote
characters who use such language.
9. When the story makes the point so fast that the audience
might miss it, build up the story by conversation.
10. Don't use such explanations as "he replied" or "he retorted."
11. Forget the character's reaction as a part of the conversation.
Don't use such bits as "he replied, turning red in the face."
If you need that reaction, make it a separate sentence, such as
"His face got red. I thought he was going to have a stroke."
12. Keep the conversation in character. If a taxi driver is speak
ing, don't have him use ten-dollar words.
13. Make the personalities register, if possible, in what they say
and the way they say it. Try different voices if you can.
14. Build your conversation by research. Ask questions of per
sons and use their answers to make your speech conversation.
You have stories now, and conversation. Now let's get on to an-
other good interest-holding device—news.
14. Bring in News, but Local News
News will hold interest in your talk, so write some in. You say
your subject is as old as the hills, that there is nothing new about it.
Are you sure? Perhaps the news is not on the surface for everybody
to see. Let's have a look at what we mean by news.
There are a number of classifications of material that can be used
as news in a speech. Here are some of them:
Items from the newspapers or magazines
News angles you develop
A new feature of your product or plan
The unusual—man bites dog stuff
Research you do, or someone else does
A tie-in with today's worries
A hookup with the peeves of the audience
Something you know that the audience does not know
It's not news if water runs under the bridge. However, if the
water suddenly turns muddy you have news—a news item that
might be put into the speech. Let's say the water running under the
bridge started to rise and threatened to wash the bridge down-
stream. That would no doubt be in the newspaper or on the radio.
The newspaper is a good source of news, perhaps the best. If
your subject is live enough to be in today's newspapers, or to tie
in with an item in today's newspapers, you are lucky. You might
take a clipping from this morning's newspaper out of your pocket.
You might spill an envelope full of clippings on the table in front
of you. Wouldn't that help make your point?
95
96 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
It is not too difficult to get news angles out of the newspaper.
Here are a number of headlines that came out of last night's paper:
RUSSIANS' PRESENCE RETARDING RECOVERY
MANN TELLS NEW STORY OF FAUST
HINTS NEW ATOM ARMS
NEW ORGAN TO BE DEDICATED SUNDAY
VETERANS TOP RENTAL LISTS
BUSINESSES INSTALL COIN-CHANGING DEVICES
TWA CUTS FLIGHT FARE
NEW MOVIE PROJECTOR AT SCHOOL
SEEK MISSING MAIL P OUCH AND $8o,OOO
Each of those headlines could be used in a speech. Surely if you
wanted to tie your subject up to the news of the day, one of those
items would serve, no matter what your subject. Let's say you were
planning to talk on "The Efficiency of the Worker." Not one of
those headlines is on that subject. Not one seems even close. But
let's see what we can do with them.
Take the first one—surely the Russians are efficient. You could
talk about the efficiency of the Communist party worker. He is
efficient at tearing down. You are talking about efficiency at build-
ing up. If you were trying to prove that workers should be more
efficient, you could cite the efficiency of the Communist party
worker as what our workers should have. You want a like zeal, a
similar persistence, a dedication to a cause.
The second headline, MANN TELLS NEW STORY OF FAUST , has to do
with a list of new books for the city library. Efficiency—what is
more efficient than the city library? You don't like that? Then talk
about the efficiency of distribution of books in this country.
That third headline, HINTS NEW ATOM ARMS. Remember the
secrecy of the work on the original atom bomb? There is an ex-
ample of efficiency, of what can be done when all work together.
Can't you see the possibilities?
BRING IN NEWS, BUT LOCAL NEWS 97
NEW ORGAN TO BE DEDICATED SUNDAY. That next headline does
not seem to offer much. It was a story about a small church that
had bought a new organ, and this Sunday there was to be a service
dedicating the organ. Nothing much on efficiency. Who said so? It
was a small church and the money for that organ was raised in a
short time. How about the efficiency with which the campaign to
raise the funds was organized and run? There is your tie -in.
VETERANS TOP RENTAL LISTS. This one offers more of a problem.
Here is what the article said:
? Veterans and their families must be offered the first chance at
renting new houses or apartments, or offered the first chance to
buy new houses for sale, according to Joe Whosis, Federal rent
director of this area.
The law, known as the "Veterans Preference Provision of the
Housing and Rent Act of 1948," provides for fines up to $5000 or
a prison sentence of not more than one year, or both, for violation
of any part of the law.
That doesn't give you much to go on, does it? But there must be
an efficiency tie -in somewhere. How about in the job the veterans'
organizations did to get the provision written in the bill? Perhaps
that is it.
The next seems easy—BUSINESSES INSTALL COIN-CHANGING DE-
VICES. Here is a machine that replaces workers, in a rather difficult
job, too. Your point can be made on the inefficiency of workers
that made the installation necessary, or on the efficiency of the
machine.
You would not have too much trouble with the next one —TWA
CUTS FLIGHT FARE . This had to do with the reduction by 5 per cent
of round-trip fares on certain flights. That could be due to the im-
proved efficiency of the operation of the line. It is seldom that a
carrier reduces fares without a reduction in costs. The article made
some other points too. It said that the company was the largest in
the world in terms of miles flown. There could be an efficiency
tie-in in that fact.
NEW MOVIE PROJECTOR AT SCHOOL. Our next headline gives us an
opportunity to talk about the efficiency or inefficiency of our edu-
98 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
cational system. Here is proof that the school is using visual edu-
cation, teaching youngsters through the movies, which the kids
like. Surely schools have been using movies for a long time, but this
is a grade school and the machine was brought by the PTA. Per-
haps a tie-in with the PTA might be suggested. But efficiency can
be tied in in any number of ways.
The last headline—SEEK MISSING MAIL POUCH AND $80,000—was
the start of a story that told that a mail pouch with $80,000 in it
disappeared between Waukesha, Wisconsin, and Chicago, Illinois.
Here you can tie in with the efficiency of the post-office depart-
ment in handling such shipments, or of the post-office depredations
unit in checking on such losses, or of the FBI in following the thief.
There are two suggestions. You may think of more.
The other headline on the page was HOROSCOPE. That is good for
an angle any day. It is always there and perhaps 95 per cent of your
audience knows nothing about astrology. Let's say you tell the
persons in the room:
"The astrological forecast for this day stresses a very exceptional
and fertile state of mind and emotions."
That is what the newspaper said. It would be a good lead for a
talk that tried to get the by-laws changed or the dues raised,
wouldn't it?
Those headlines were not taken from page 1. They were on an
inner page of a small-town newspaper on a Saturday night, when
the paper is light. Yet every one of them can be used. I realize that it
took some stretching of the imagination to make some of them
work, but I did that to show you how. News is interesting to audi-
ences. If your subject is live enough to have a tie -in with today's
newspaper, it is worth listening to.
If your subject is not in the newspapers, your next best bet is
to manufacture some news about it. Let's say you go out to that
bridge mentioned earlier in this chapter. You take a stick and stir
up the water. Something happens and you report that something
in your speech. That's the kind of news the picture magazines
make. They do not have enough news pictures to fill up the maga-
zine, so they take a series of pictures and write a story about some-
BRING IN NEWS, BUT LOCAL N EWS 99
thing that is not news and might not be rated as news unless they
made a story on it.
Here's an example. I tell the group that the users who buy our
product like it. Then I say I am going to tell them why I know
these users like it. I describe a mail survey I have made. I tell about
the postcards that have come back. I read a few of the postcards.
I make my point by manufacturing some news about the product
and the point.
Much speech material comes out of this sort of activity. The
speaker uses surveys that magazines make, that organizations fi-
nance. He quotes Gallup polls and Hooper ratings. The news he
gives out is manufactured news. Last night I heard a speaker tell
about conditions all over the world. He had visited the countries
and he had gathered his material. The audience listened with in-
terest because he was comparing what we had with what those other
countries had.
In this case the speaker had knowledge that we did not have. For
that reason it was news to us. That goes for a lot of things you
know that the audience does not know. The fact that you have five
boys, or that your wife is left-handed, or that you drive a Plymouth,
or work in an air-conditioned office. The audience can't know
those things and when you use them in your speech you are serv-
ing up news.
When you use this sort of material you are making news, manu-
facturing it through research. You have dug into history, you have
produced some facts and figures. This is what you find. Since the
audience didn't dig and get your findings , what you tell them is
news to them.
News is something the other fellow doesn't know. Tell him a
fact he doesn't know and you may add interest to your talk. It
always pays to dig up a few such facts about your subject. And
don't reject the old. Even that may have some news angle. The
subject you're talking about may be quite old, but somebody said
something about it yesterday or somebody did something with it
today. Tell about what that somebody did or said and you have
news.
100 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
The unusual-—the unusual reason for giving to the fund, for join-
ing the club, or the unusual use of an old product—makes news too.
Let's say your talk is about an electric washing machine that has
been on the market for years and years. It is the same machine, no
new features, no news value. Well, why not check around to find
an unusual application of that washer. Let's say you find a bank
using it to wash dirty one-dollar bills. That would be a break,
wouldn't it?
In your talk you describe how they do it. Can't you see how you
can bring every operation feature of the washer into such a descrip-
tion? You have an old subject, but you have found an unusual angle
that helps make the old story more interesting.
There is news value in the day's worries. Always those who
worry are looking for something to worry about. That's why the
"view-with-alarm" angle is used in so many speeches. Is there any-
thing in your subject that lends itself to such a tie -in? Can you
produce something that will give worriers something new to worry
about? The worrier who has ten items to worry about now will
love you for giving him number eleven.
There are many things to worry about if you are so minded.
Business, profits, your salary, your taxes, business controls, govern-
ment spending, foreign policy, the Democrats, the Republicans,
the price of wheat, meat, butter, the high cost of living, the attitude
of the young, the attitude of the old, the liberals, the conservatives.
Yes, out of that list you can find something to tie in with your
speech.
If the talk is to be given to the boys from the club, what is their
pet peeve? Bring it out in the open, mention it, talk about it seri-
ously or kid about it, but don't, for goodness' sake, ignore it.
The peeves of any audience are good talk material. A speaker
tells you how his wife insists on lighting the dinner table with
candles. Most men in the audience go through the same ordeal
whenever they have company. With a wonderful invention like
the electric light, women insist on eating by candlelight. Now that
is good speech material. I have heard it used. Lipstick on water-
BRING IN NEWS, BUT LOCAL NEWS 1O1
cooler bubblers is another good peeve that gets the men. Ah, yes,
there are lots of them.
But don't talk about last month's peeve. This is a changing world.
The thing that is in the public's mind today is gone tomorrow.
Once a man could say "twenty-three, skiddoo" in his talk and prove
that he was up-to-date. But you've got to use today's "twenty-
three, skiddoo" to prove that you are a ball of fire. I can't write
what that is today because by the time this book sees print—even
though it be but thirty days from now—the expression may be
dead. Just look how long a story holds the front page of a news-
paper. Today the editors give you details and tomorrow they throw
away the story completely or put it on a back page.
A bit of today in your speech shows the audience that you have
some blood in your veins, that you are alive and kicking. Use a
phrase from a song that the public is singing—number one on the
Hit Parade—or that slang expression that everyone is using. Talk
about some argument that you got into on a subject that's hot to-
day. Show that you are awake, that you observe things, that you
know the score.
Don't be afraid to use the popular radio gag or to mention the
radio program. Let them know that you listen to the radio—and
not only to the symphonies. Perhaps you don't like popular music
or the present fad in crooners. But don't be afraid to let on that
there are such things. Let the audience know that you know what
is going on in this old world of ours. Don't concentrate on the good
old days. Talk about today. That is what news is.
When you go out to lunch what do you talk about? Business,
yes, but what else? Well, it's what's in the newspapers, or in Time,
or Newsweek, or on the radio or television. And it's baseball or
football or hockey or basketball or golf. All of these subjects are
alive. They are what makes for interesting small talk. And they
make good speech material too.
But in using this material bring it home to me. Get it as close to
my town, to Seventh and Alain, as you can. If you can get it closer
to the chair I'm sitting in, you'll interest me. Once when I was do-
1O2 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
ing a series of talks about air conditioning I found that no one
seemed to appreciate the value of fresh air or moving air. No one
seemed to realize what a lack of fresh, moving air meant. They
lived in rooms for years without adequate fresh air and no one
ever told them that the air they were breathing wasn't fit to
breathe. There was news of the highest value.
In this talk, I used the story of the Black Hole of Calcutta, of
the people imprisoned in the small room who died because they
couldn't get fresh air and air movement. Still the audience didn't
appreciate what I was talking about.
Then I started talking about the air in the room the audience
was in. That was their air. It was the air they were breathing. I
described the conditions in the room, I pointed out the little holes
through which air came into the room, the small crack in the
windows which were open. I talked about the smoke with which
they filled the room. On top of that I pictured each of them breath-
ing in and breathing out that same air over and over again. I called
it "secondhand air." As I went on talking I could see them begin-
ning to perspire, beginning to feel uncomfortable. Men stirred
in their chairs, others got out handkerchiefs and mopped their
brows. By bringing my example into the room and to the chairs
in which they were sitting, my news of fresh air meant something
to them. Before I called their attention to the conditions, the air
in the room was all right. Now they found it uncomfortable. The
absence of fresh air was news to them.
Perhaps you won't have anything so close to your audience as
the air they are breathing. But it illustrates my point. If you can
get your story in terms of the air they are breathing, the tempera-
ture of the room, the hard chairs they are sitting on, then you
have something that certainly will hold their interest.
With experience you can find news in any subject. Perhaps
you are covering the same subject, the same plan, the same product.
Okay, why not look for a news angle?
Look for a new use, some new concept, some engineering or
psychological approach. You may find any one of them. If not,
think back to this morning's newspaper. What item did you find
BRING IN NEWS, BUT LOCAL NEWS 1O3
that struck you as interesting? That item probably hit the audi-
ence too. Here's what I mean. Not so long ago a couple was married
by a minister in California. Now there is no news in that because
couples are being married by ministers in California every day. But
in this case the minister was a baby four years old. Going up in
the office elevator one morning someone mentioned it. That noon
at lunch someone brought it into the conversation. Later, in the
barbershop, the boss quoted the priest who said that the youngster
was no more capable of witnessing the contract than Charlie Mc-
Carthy. That shows why, when you mention an item in the morn-
ing's newspaper, members of the audience nod their heads. They
read about it too, and you are adding interest and demanding at-
tention when you use such items. Such news is all around you. Keep
your eyes and ears open and use what you find.
Well, if that's true, you ask, why don't more speakers use such
items? I can't answer that question. It's probably because they
don't know that such items help make their talk more interesting.
So let's write some news into your speech. Not last week's news.
Today's news. That is what this audience will go for.
Now let's get on to the next idea, which has to do with the
makers of news—people.
15. Talk about People
People are most interested in people —news about people, gossip
about names, conversations about individuals. When you write
your speech, put in something about the individuals in the room,
about the family, about the men who work at the office, about the
neighbors.
You don't need any proof of our interest in individuals. Just
look at the morning newspaper. I did that this morning. Here are
the headlines in the first ten stories: MAN JAILED IN MEETING WILL
TESTIFY; BIKE SHOWER SPICES GIRL'S FIFTH BIRTHDAY; ATTACK VIC-
TIM GOES HOME; GOVERNOR TO GIVE OUT TRUE WORD; BOAT SINKS—-
OVER TWENTY DIE; CITY CHIEF TELLS OF THREATS; ECA SPOKESMAN
SAYS.
Get the idea? Today's newspaper is no different from to-
morrow's. Almost every story in that newspaper has people in it.
When you release a publicity story about a talk you're going to
give, you have to put the names of some persons in it. A headline
like "Ajax Company Declares Dividends" will be followed by a
headline which tells what the president of Ajax says. In other
words, some person is in it. Persons make news and the mention
of persons makes for interest in your speech.
Now who are these people who make good speech material?
Almost everybody, but let's list a few of them.
The men in the meeting room, the chairman, the man who
arranged for your appearance, the members of the club that you
know.
Then there is the family—the wife and kids, the brother-in-law,
the relatives. Look how Bob Burns, the comedian, has made a liv-
104
TALK ABOUT PEOPLE 105
ing talking about his kin. You can talk about yours and the audi-
ence will be interested.
Another group is the neighbors. All of your audience have
neighbors who borrow from them, who watch them, whose dogs
get into their gardens, who complain when their dogs get on the
wrong side of the fence. Yes, neighbors are good material.
Then there are your business associates, your boss, his boss, the
men in your share-the-ride club, the receptionist, the office boy,
the stenographer.
Add next the people everybody knows, the taxi drivers, the
tough cops, the bus drivers, your fellow commuters, the butcher,
baker, candlestick maker—this is a large group.
Then come the names, the big names of today and the big names
of history. Today's are best, but the ones out of the past are good
too.
That's quite a group of possibilities, isn't it? That first group, the
members of the club, are a big help in getting started. Always
when I start a speech, I say something about the chairman. I speak
about "old Russ" as if he and I were bosom pals of long standing.
Perhaps I have just met him for the first time, but I talked to him
at the cocktail party or during the dinner and I have learned some-
thing about his business or his golf game, or his boxer dogs. So
when I start off, I mention this bit of information I gleaned.
Russ loves that and so does the club. I try, too, to bring in the man
who arranged for my appearance, or an acquaintance I ran into.
Such talk interests the club members. It also stamps you as one
of them. I have a regular routine in which I quote what various
members have said to me. The club eats it up. Perhaps you have
noticed how the hired entertainer always mentions the man who
hires him. Follow this plan; it is good business.
Then don't neglect your family. Bring in the wife and kids.
They are excellent speech material. Most men writing a speech
to be given in public hesitate to write in the family. They feel a
little embarrassed. But they are wrong on that. The family—the
wife, the kids, the dogs and cats—are possessions that stamp you
as the same kind of person as those in this audience. They have
1O6 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
kids, they have a wife, they have dogs, some of them have cats.
The problems at your home, which you think are peculiar to you,
are also their problems.
Tell how the Missus plays bridge even though she has taken all
those lessons. Explain how your sister-in-law won't let her husband
sit in the white chair. Then talk about the mean aunt who won't
allow any dogs in t he house. Your boy of high-school age and
his high opinion of you always brings a smile to the faces of the
listeners. They have kids with similar lofty opinions.
Write into this speech what the wife said about your good
judgment if it helps you prove a po int. Tell a story about what
your kids did in a certain situation if that helps prove a point.
Don't bring in the wife and kids just for the fun of bringing them
in or to let the audience know that you have them. Use them and
anecdotes about them and gossip with them to help put over your
points.
One such story I've told over and over in a number of talks
has to do with my number one son. Here's the story:
We had just finished dinner and were sitting around talking
when this youngster said, "Well, I have to go up now and work
on my trigonometry for three hours."
I asked him, "Why don't you keep up -to-date in your home-
work?"
"I do," the youngster said. "This is just today's work."
"What do you mean? " I asked. "You mean to say that they give
you three hours' homework to do in one night?"
"Yes, they do," he said.
"That's ridiculous, no teacher would do a thing like that. How
many problems do you have?"
"Well," he said, "I have twelve problems."
"I can do them in thirty minutes," I said.
Well, those rash words resulted in a dollar bet that I couldn't. So
off he went upstairs to get his trigonometry book, his notebook,
and a pencil. When he came back he threw the whole in front of
me and said, "There you are. You do them while I time you."
"No, that's not the way we're going to do it," I said. "Here, you
take the book, the pad, and the pencil."
TALK ABOUT PEOPLE 1O7
He took them. I asked him to read the first problem. When he
had finished, I asked, "What is the cosine? "
He replied, "It's this side of the triangle over this side."
Then I asked another question, "What is the cotangent?" for that
was the other factor in this problem. Again he explained what it
was and then he added, "Okay, I can work this one." He made a
few figures on the page and looked in the back of the book and
seemed surprised. In less than a minute he had the correct answer.
I suggested that he look at the clock.
"We took fifty seconds on that one," I said.
"You're lucky," he growled.
Then I had him read the second problem, with the same result.
On the third the procedure was about the same.
We worked the first three problems in two minutes and fifty
seconds. Then he picked up his book, his pad of paper, and his
pencil and went on up to his room. "I can work the rest of them,"
he told me. As he passed his mother in the living room he said,
"That old bird sure knows his trig."
I've used that story to demonstrate the value of asking questions
in determining what the prospect wanted to buy. I've used it to
illustrate the value of method. The boy knew what the different
terms in trigonometry meant. I didn't know that at all. But I did
have one knowledge that he didn't have. I knew method. I knew
how to solve a problem by asking questions about it.
That illustrates how you can use stories about the family and
about the kids. And when I've done this talk in speeches it has
held interest because the listeners have families, too, and they
will listen with interest when I talk about mine.
Talk about the neighbors. That's another thing that everybody
has. Talk about your share -the -ride club. The neighbor who
sweeps off the walk every morning. The blonde next door who
wears slacks. Everybody has such neighbors and when you talk
about them you will hold interest. Time and again a member of
an audience has told me, "I have a neighbor just like that."
Write into your talk the kind of people everybody knows. The
hotel clerks, bus drivers, bartenders, janitors, maids, grocers, butch-
ers. But don't talk about taxi drivers all the time. Now a taxi driver,
108 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
now a bartender, now the hotel clerk. All these people can add
interest to your speech.
In mentioning persons always use their names. Don't say, "I
was talking to a fellow in a nearby town." Name the fellow and
name the town. Many speakers hesitate to mention friends by
name. That's wrong. If a story about one of the group will help
make a point, use the story and name the man. The audience likes
to hear about its friends. If you establish yourself as a friend of
one of their friends, you are close to a friend of the group.
The other night I spoke to a Cooperative Club. The president,
who sat next to me at dinner, had a list of the membership before
him. I read through the list and noted that a number of my friends
were not present that night. When I started to speak I called off
the names of those friends who hadn't appeared. I told the club
that these people were friends of mine, real friends. And since
they knew the kind of speaker I was, they stayed home. That
made a big hit with the audience. The men mentioned were my
friends and their friends, and I was using sure-fire material when
I mentioned them.
When you mention names you can be certain you have with
you the people whose names you mention. Everybody is glad to
be mentioned. The other day I told a friend, "I mentioned your
name in my speech."
"You mentioned it twice," he corrected.
Yes, they love it. Tell what the chairman said and he loves it.
But don't wait until you get to the head table to think of this.
No, write that fellow in while you're getting your talk on paper.
If you want to quote the chairman on a subject, ask him a ques-
tion about that subject, then use his answer. Many times when you
say that Bill Whosis did something or said something, a voice
from the audience will respond, "He would." Well, you're cooking
with electricity when they nib in.
Many speakers go in for big names. They quote Abraham Lin-
coln or Oliver Cromwell. Perhaps that helps. My thought is that
any quotation you attribute to a big name would be stronger if
you said that someone they knew said it. Let's say you quoted the
TALK ABOUT PEOPLE 109
big shot. Where are you then? You haven't said anything and
there is little news in what these big shots say. Particularly if Mr.
Big has been dead for a hundred years. But if Joe Blow said it,
there's a difference. Joe is a friend, a pal. What's good enough for
Joe is good enough for them. There is little preaching in what
Joe says. There is none of the stuffed shirt. For that reason Joe's
cracks have a much better chance of going over.
I once had a friend who seldom made a speech without some
such reference as "I think it was Cato who said—." Then he quoted
Cato. Well, we all figured he read that out of a book some place.
We felt that it hadn't come out of his experience. Perhaps reading
a book is experience, but it didn't seem that way to us. Now if he
had said, "The bartender down at the Elite said," we would have
been all ears because we know Pete and we know that Pete is a
character who gets off some pretty good cracks.
The other night I heard a speaker tell about his conversations
with all the political leaders of Europe. He had been in twenty
or more countries and had met and talked to the leaders. As he
quoted what these men told him, it was just as if you or I were
quoting the driver on the Seventh Street bus. He knew those men.
He was making his points by quoting them. Now that is all right.
If you know the big shots, if you are in the habit of talking with
them, if you play golf with them, fine, go on and quote them.
Perhaps you are a big shot yourself. Then what the president said
to you, or the vice-president, or the senator may be okay. If you
bring it in, bring it in quite naturally. But when you're a little guy
and attempt to bring in the big shots of a bygone era, you seem
to get yourself out of character. You'll do much better if you
stick to the boys of this day and age. Perhaps Oliver Cromwell did
say, "When you stop getting better you stop being good." But
Pete, the bartender, might say that too. And it sounds more natu-
ral if you quote Pete rather than the departed Oliver.
You can suit yourself on this point. Some instructors of public
speaking advise you to quote Cato and Oliver Cromwell. In m y
suggestions on how to write a unit, I call for such quotations. But
I am not comfortable quoting these big names out of the past. I
110 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
always wonder whether or not the man quoted really said what
I say he said. I feel, too, as if I am trying to parade a knowledge
that I do not have. I have used all of them, the ancients, the poets,
the men who run the club before which I am speaking, the or-
dinary characters that are in my life, the wife and kids. God bless
them all! They have made excellent speech material for me.
They will do the same for you. So write them in, these nice peo-
ple. Remember that the number one interest of any audience is—
people. And, of course, his favorite of all people is he—himself.
Let's run over again the kind of people that make for interesting
material in a speech.
1. The persons in the meeting, the chairman, the members and
the guests.
2. The family—the wife and kids, the girl friend, the in-laws,
the relatives. What they do, say, or think is interesting.
3. The neighbors, their kids, their dogs, their gardens.
4. The associates at the office. The boss and his screwy ideas.
The fellow in the next office and his pipe.
5. The big names, the names that everyone knows.
6. The little people of the world that everybody knows. The
redcaps, the bellhops, the newsboys.
Talk to people, all kinds of people. Listen to them. Then write
descriptions of their actions into your speeches. If the audience is
interested in people, cater to that interest.
16. Don't Slight Your Possessions
Just like people, your possessions come high on the list of interest
builders in a speech. Bring them in, mention them—your cat, your
dog, your car, your Sunday suit. Common experiences, the trouble
you had getting your suit pressed, or the way the coins spilled
when you tried to rob the kid's piggy bank.
The suit that you are wearing, the pants that show the shine,
the hat that cries aloud for cleaning—all such things can be brought
into the speech in a way that will create interest in the audience.
For these are the things those people out front know. One man's
hat needs cleaning, another's shoes need new heels. When you talk
about these things, you are one of them. And when you show that
you are the kind of Joe that has the same problems, you're talking
right down their alley.
I use a lot of this sort of material in my speeches. I use my clothes,
the things around the house, my projects, the painting of the bath-
room, the flower garden by the garage, the things in my office, my
desk, my chair, the ceiling that the workmen seem to step through
so often, the lighting, the poor ventilation, my car and its peculiari-
ties. All these are speech material, material that seems to interest
audiences when I use it in my speeches.
How do you use such possessions? Well, let's take clothes as an
example. Once in a series of meetings I wore a red necktie. At the
first meeting, as I was introduced, a man in the audience called,
"Ah, a guy with a red necktie!"
Well, salesmen wear neckties. Through a break, I had an op-
portunity to build something out of that tie. Here is the way I
handled it. I said, "Yes, a red necktie." Then I pulled the tie out
111
I 12 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
of my vest so that they could see the whole dollar-and-a-half worth
of red. Then I went on, "When they asked me to talk to this group
they told me that you were a red-hot sales force. So I put on the
hottest tie I have—I wore it to remind me to be good."
To show how important the right attitude is, a friend of mine,
Cy Burg, vice-president of the Iron Fireman Company and
one of the best speakers I know, illustrates a point with a story
about a gray suit of clothes, a white shirt, and a red tie. Thus:
There are lots of ways to express enthusiasm. I want to give you
one quickly. I got my clue one gloomy Monday morning from a
sorry-looking salesman who got into my office. He was dressed in
a black suit, black socks, black briefcase, black tie, black overcoat,
and black hat. How he got in, I don't know. There he came,
slouching into the office with that run-down expression. I could
see that he hadn't sold anything in six weeks.
He said, "Good morning, Mr. Burg. How's business?" Remem-
ber in those days how you used to ask people how business was—
"Hello, Sam, how is business?"
That was the day when pessimism was everywhere.
Well, this fellow said to me, "How is business?"
I said, "Fine."
"Fine?" He looked at me closely. His mouth dropped open.
I said, "Yes, it's fine. We're running 30 per cent ahead of last
year."
He said, "You're the first man in six months that told me that
business was good. You don't want to buy a new automobile, do
you?"
I thought, "My God, no, not from that gloom peddler."
But that peddler of gloom gave me an idea. Here it is —
How much better would it have been if he had come in dressed
up in—well, a light gray suit, why not? A gray suit is more cheer-
ful than a black one. It doesn't have to be summer to wear gray,
and the gray hat that goes with it. And why not a white shirt and
a red tie—the red tie is much more cheerful than black. Here I'll
show you. (The speaker takes off his blue tie and puts on a red
one.) Don't I look more cheerful now and more optimistic?
The silly part is that it works. I made this talk at a Rotary Club
DON T SLIGHT YOUR POSSESSIONS 113
in Cleveland. Next morning a friend called me and said, "Cy, it
works."
"Who's this? What works?" I asked.
"This is Bill—the gray-suit -and -red-tie idea. It's terrific; the
thing worked. You know what I did this morning? Although it's
snowing, I got out one of last summer's gray suits and a red tie
and went down to the office. I've been working on a prospect for
nine months. The guy has been saying "no" for nine months, and
I said to myself, "This guy is going to say 'yes' this morning." I
tried this theory of yours and I have just come back with the big-
gest order in my life. Thanks, Cy, for the tip."
Now it wasn't the tie, it wasn't the suit. The change was made in
his head. It was a change in his mental attitude. Mental attitude is
everything. If you can just train salesmen to have the right mental
attitude, they will go to town and they ¦ will sell. They might not
have the right approach, they might stumble through the presen-
tation, but if they have the right attitude and see enough people,
they will sell.
The heroes in that story are a gray suit and a red necktie. And
you should listen while Cy Burg tells the story. If you heard him
do it once, you would realize how powerful an argument you can
make with such items of clothing. Perhaps it is because the men
in that audience all have gray suits and red ties. When you speak
of such things they understand and sympathize.
You might have a much more interesting story about the moon,
the planets, or the stars, but the men and women in the audience
don't own such celestial bodies. Thus when you illustrate a point
by telling them your experie nce in trying to get your old hat
cleaned, they ride right along with you. They have had that kind
of experience, too.
I have a story I use about a button on my overcoat. Last year
when I was going to make a talk out of town, I lost a button off
my overcoa t. I heard it drop between the back door and the
garage. I stopped to hunt for it. I moved the car. I couldn't find it.
So I was forced to go on the trip without the button.
In the first town on the trip I tried to buy a button. I went into
114 HOW TO W RITE A SPEECH
a number of stores. I looked for the notion counters. I had always
felt that old ladies run notion counters. But I found only kids
behind the counters, and those kids had no interest in a fat man
who had lost a button off his overcoat.
Now that's good speech material. Any member of the audience
can imagine the same thing happening to him. So I made a story
out of losing the button of! my overcoat, my search for a button
to replace it, and a needle and thread to sew it on. I used it to
show how little interest salespeople have in serving customers to-
day.
The illustration worked well for me. It was so close to the experi-
ences of others that everybody in the room could picture my ex-
periences.
Your pets also make excellent speech material. I've used the rab-
bits who eat the young plants that come up in the spring. I've used
Judy, a neighbor's dog that comes to our back door begging for
food. I don't know who owns her. She looks hungry but she's fat.
And all the neighbors feed her. I don't feed her because I wouldn't
want a dog of mine fed away from home. Still, she doesn't stop
asking. Somehow it seems that dog is psychic. Whenever we're
having roast beef at our house, she is at our back door waiting for
a handout. That dog is good for a number of stories that make
good speech material. She has been used time and again to prove
that it pays to ask for the order.
Your home makes excellent speech material. I am one of these
fellows that tinker, and the story of the leak in the roof I tried
to fix and how I didn't quite do it has been used to make the point
that when you have a job that needs an expert, it is best to call in an
expert. On the other hand, I fixed the crack in the plaster that
the wallpaper hangers couldn't. That made speech material to
prove that fools rush in where angels fear to tread. The finger-
marks that the kids leave on the back door have been used too.
The marks get my goat. The kids don't see them. I prove that by
asking them with some authority to take a damp rag and wipe off
the marks. But next day the marks are back. I use that to make the
point that it is useless to worry about small things. The leaky faucets
DONT SLIGHT YOUR POSSESSIONS 115
that the Missus is after me to fix—those, too, are good. She
doesn't want me to tinker with the utilities, but she keeps after me
to fix those faucets. I use that to prove the uncertainties of life
or the inconsistency of women. All of it goes through the mill and
comes out point-making speech material.
Then there are my projects. My garden took an awful beating
when, during the war, we were growing for victory. The robins
wanted the strings that marked my seed rows. Every morning
they would try to fly off with those strings. A bird would take
the string in its beak and start to fly off, but the strings were an-
chored and the bird would get about six feet and would be stopped
short. It would tumble in the air. But it would not stop. Back
it would go and try the same thing all over again. I used the story
of those birds to show that persistence pays. Eventually they got
the strings.
The Scout troop made a lot of such stories—how the kids felt
about the grownups, how I got the fathers to come to the meet-
ings. Stories on these activities helped me make points. My club
is another good provider of speech material. Here I tell how they
stick me with the various jobs, how the brass in the club think
they are sticking me but how I really like it. That goes over well
with club audiences. I always use such stories to make the point that
the member who works gets more out of the club. No club mem-
ber who works for his club is going to hate me for that.
Your church is another good source of speech material. Every
one of the audience feels that he should go to church. It helps you
with them if you admit that you do. I tell them that I always sit
in the front pew on Sunday. I do that with the hope that others
will follow my lead, for if they do, the priest or minister will
have the seats close to him filled. I tell this story to make the
point that if the audience is close to the speaker, the speaker will
be better. He will get the feel of the group, he will feel a response
that he could never get if he were talking to two or three rows of
empty seats. Empty seats are cold and unfriendly; seats filled with
people are warm and friendly.
Then there is your office. For years I have been trying to get
116 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
the fellows who run the air conditioning to get some air into my
office. I am not interested in cooling; all I want is fresh air. Well,
the mechanics came and went, they adjusted everything, but noth-
ing happened. I still got no fresh air. Then this winter someone
discovered that the air duct running into my office had been
dead-ended before it reached my office. That was grand. They
fixed the duct and I began to get the much-needed air. But in
working above the ceiling one of the workmen stepped through
the plaster in two places. So for a month I had two holes in
my office ceiling. I can use that story to show that a man should
be satisfied with his lot. Stories can be slanted to make points out
of all the things in the office—the pen and pencil set, the creak
in my chair, the bookcase, the campaign I run to keep things off
the file cabinet, and how everybody seems to be intent on clut-
tering up the place. That is all good speech material, for every
man with an office has some of it.
I do a number of talks on selling and use a number of stories
about trying to get adjustments on things I have bought. Not
long ago we broke the top of our glass coffeemaker. Well, I went
to every store in town that carried that kind of coffeemaker and
none of them had a spare top. None of them knew when they
might have one and, further, none of them seemed to worry
too much about whether or not they would ever have one. About
that time up in Cleveland I spent a whole afternoon looking for
one of those tops. The reception in the stores was much the same
as I had received in the stores at home. I wrote a letter to the
manufacturer. I got a nice reply stating that I should go to a store
and buy one.
My letter had told about my attempts to buy one in nine
stores, but apparently the manufacturer did not read that part.
Well, I saw the name of the president of the company in a
trade paper, and I wrote a letter to him and marked the letter
"personal." I told about my search and asked him to send me a
top C.O.D. In about ten days I got a letter from the service
manager. He told me that he was sending me a top free of charge
DON T SLIGHT YOUR POSSESSIONS 117
but that his action was not to be taken as a precedent, that my
coffeemaker was out of the guarantee period, and next time I
broke a top I was to buy one from a dealer and pay for it. Now
there is material on which any speaker can go to town. It proves
that some companies are mishandling customers. It shows that
it is the little things that make friends for companies. It proves
that when you buy a product that does not work, you can get
quick action by writing the president. Every day something hap-
pens to you and your possessions that will make such speech
material.
Your car is a fine topic for speeches. Almost everyone in the
audience has a car and has had similar experiences. I use one story
about trying to get the mechanics at the service station to put an-
other thermostat in my car. I tried and tried, but they wouldn't
do it. I couldn't figure why, unless they felt that by doing it they
would prove I was right in my diagnosis of what was wrong. Then
one day when I had the car out of town I drove into a service
station, asked to have a new thermostat put in, and stood for per-
haps fifteen minutes while the job was done. After that I had no
more trouble. Then one day back at my own service station the
mechanic said, "Don't have any more trouble with that thermo-
stat, do you, Mr. Hegarty?" I told him I didn't. "I knew it wasn't
that," he said.
With that story I make the point that a salesman should allow
the customer to talk. Sometimes the customer might have a good
idea.
Even a small thing like a nail clip can be made into a story. I
tell about the time I went into a drugstore to buy a nail clip. I told
the clerk what I wanted. He went into the back and came out with
one. He laid it on the counter. I picked it up and asked, "How
much?"
"Twenty-five cents," he said, "and it's pretty good too."
I use that to show that a salesman should say something positive
about his wares. He should have said, "It's made of good steel" or
"It's got a fine cutting edge." His "pretty good too," added noth-
Il8 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
ing and would have been better left unsaid. So I use that story as
one of my examples of why a salesman should accentuate the
positive.
Don't be afraid to get personal in talking about your posses-
sions. If you wear a toupee, talk about that. Did you ever hear a
fellow who wore a toupee mention it? Not so you can notice it.
But wouldn't such a mention keep the audience awake?
If you have a joke to tell, always make the joke pretty much on
you. Don't make yourself the butt of jokes, but let them know
that there have been times when you weren't too smart. Tell
these anecdotes about the things you own in a way that gives
the audience the pleasure of anticipating what's going to happen.
If they know what is going to happen, they will enjoy the story
much better. Then at the end you might fool them by having
something different happen.
That's enough of examples. Remember that the mention of
possessions will add the little touches that help make your talk in-
teresting. So write them in. The more visionary your subject, the
more you should try to bring in some of the ordinary, everyday,
humdrum activities. The possessions mentioned here are that kind
of material. They help add color to your story, help stamp you
as the same type of fellow that makes up your audience.
Let's review the possessions that can make good speech ma-
terial:
1. Your clothes—the ones you wear, the ones you would like
to wear, the ones you buy for the kids.
2. Your pets—your dog, your cat, your horse. Think how
many dollars radio sponsors have paid to comedians for men
tioning Bing Crosby's race horses.
3. Your home—the lawn, the roof, the screen door, the storm
windows, the view into the neighbor's garage.
4. Your projects—your garden, your bridge club, your base
ment workshop—there are millions of them.
5. Your office—the desk, the table, the bookcase, the chair, the
battle to get carpet on the floor.
DON’T SLIGHTYOURPOSSENSSIONS 119
6. Your purchases—all of your adventures with tradesmen go
well. All can be used to prove points.
7. Your car—the old stand-by, your battle to make it run, to
make it stop.
These are but a few. You take it from here. But use these pos-
sessions of yours to prove a point or two.
17. Dramatize Some Points
One of the best means of holding interest as you talk is to drama-
tize some points. The audience will get tired of talk, talk, talk.
So you must do something—wave your arms, shout, do a little
dance, show them something, demonstrate a device. All these
and anything like them, for the purpose of this discussion, I call
"dramatizations."
Even the simplest gesture makes a talk more interesting. So
let's plan some of these gestures. If you are equal to it, let's plan
some demonstrations. If you can bring yourself to do it, perhaps
some horseplay, a stunt or two. Now don't say, "I can't do any-
thing like that." If you can't, you are most unusual. I've taught
the most diffident and reserved fellows to do stunts before audiences
they would never have thought of doing. True, the men had to
force themselves to do the stunts, but they did them well and added
interest to their talks.
In Chap. 16 I told about a speaker who changed his tie be-
fore an audience. Now most speakers would never attempt to do
a thing like that. They would be embarrassed. They may have seen
other speakers do it, but their reaction has been, "Well, he's the
kind of a fellow that could do that. I'm not."
I have had men say that to me. I always ask, "Why can't you
do that?"
"Well, a man has to be a certain type to do a stunt like that—
pretty much of an extrovert, I'd say."
"You mean he has to be a little nuts?" I asked.
"It probably helps."
Well, maybe it does help. But any speaker can do such stunts.
120
DRAMATIZE SOME POINTS 121
Taking off a tie and putting on another is easy. I have seen a
speaker break a skillet with a hammer; I've seen another fall under
the table; I have seen one stand on his head. It is true a man
has to have a certain amount of skill to stand on his head, but
speakers can be taught to handle almost any kind of dramatiza-
tion.
The speaker who does not ordinarily go in for dramatizations in
his talks can start with simple stunts. After that he can go on to
more elaborate ones. The point I want to make here is that such
stunts should be written into the speech.
If you are going to do any sort of dramatization, you should
write out the stage directions. Perhaps you are going to run your
hands through your hair, wave your arms, stomp your feet. Write
what you plan to do in the script. Put it, "I'll walk two steps to
the right. I'll raise my hands above my head and I'll shout." For
a lengthy demonstration or dramatization write out all details.
Let's say you are going to show a piece of printed matter. That
is a simple act. There are a number of ways you can handle it.
1. You can hold it up and show it.
2. You can take it out of your pocket and show it.
3. You can open the pages one by one and show what is on each.
4. You can write something on it.
5. You can indicate pictures or paragraphs you want the audi
ence to see.
There are, of course, many other things you can do, but these
illustrate the point. Any one of these is simple. In a number of
cases I have taken a card out of my pocket, held it up for the audi-
ence to see, and have said, "The figures on this card are so im-
portant that I wrote them out so I would be sure to remember
them and give them to you."
One of my friends has a stunt that has helped him a lot. He
says that when you are making a speech and have run out of things
to say or have forgotten what you meant to say, you take a card
out of your pocket. The card may have nothing on it, but you
look at the card for a few seconds. If an idea of what you should
122 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
say comes to you, you go on and express the idea. If your mind
still remains a blank after looking at the card, you say, "Well, I
guess the other points listed here are not important enough." Saying
which you sit down.
In my talk on "How to Run a Sales Meeting" I give an imita-
tion of the speaker who talks from a set of notes written on small
cards. Instead of the usual white cards I use a deck of playing cards.
I use this stunt to illustrate how speakers fumble with their notes.
I say this:
The biggest fumbler I know is the fellow who does his talk from
a set of cards like this. (Show cards.) He stands there with his deck
of cards clasped firmly against his fat tummy like this. (Demon-
strate.) He goes on making his points. Then he comes to a line,
"Gentlemen, the world is going to. . . ."
He stops, for he has lost the idea. So he repeats, "Yes, gentlemen,
the world is going to. . . ."
The idea still eludes him and for the third time he says, "Yes,
gentlemen, I repeat the world is going to. . . ."
Now he glances surreptitiously at the cards in his hand. A smile
lights his face. He looks at the audience and plunges on. "Yes,
gentlemen, the world is going to perdition, perdition I say. . . ."
He has seen the Jack of Hearts [show it] and got his cue. Now
he takes the Jack and slides it on the bottom. [Do it.]
When you use cards the audience is conscious of them. They
watch them and worry. They hope that you have a pinochle deck
instead of a full fifty-two-card pack.
All my life, for the thirty-odd years that I have been attending
meetings, I have hoped that someday I would see a speaker who
shuffled those cards on which he had his notes . You know, gave
them this. [Shuffle the cards.]
Well, down in Dayton last year I saw that. The speaker was
going along, and since he was nervous, as most speakers are, he
started to shuffle his cards. [Shuffle the cards.]
The time came when he needed his next note. He looked at the
cards, saw the Ten of Spades [show it] and realized that was not
the right card. For a minute he gave it this. [Spread out the cards
DRAMATIZE SOME POINTS 123
and look through them. Act as if you are having trouble with your
bifocals.]
After a minute of that, he threw his cards on the table, and from
then on his speech was better.
This dramatization adds a lot to that talk of mine. It helps me
make the point that card notes are not good. But such a stunt has
to be written out and acted out. It is not enough to tell yourself,
"When I come to that point I'll do this." No, you had better write
stage directions for what you are to do when you reach that
point.
The directions should be written, no matter how simple the
stunt you are planning. Let's say you plan to run your hand
through your hair. All right, which hand—left hand or right
hand? Or both hands? Perhaps it would be well to stand in front
of the large mirror on the hall-closet door and see how you look
running your right hand, or your left hand, or both hands through
your hair. You say you know how you look? Listen, you have no
idea at all. Perhaps after you see yourself do the stunt in front
of a mirror you will decide to forget the whole thing.
Write out directions for that gesture in detail. Where are you
planning to stop your hand? Will you lift it off your head or will
you run it down to your collar in the back? I am asking be-
cause if you are going to write in directions for a gesture, you
had better understand just how far you are going to carry the
gesture.
Perhaps you have seen Sam Vining, the red-suspender phi-
losopher, run his hands through his hair. You think he is trying
to tear his hair out by the roots. But when he reaches his hands
up he knows exactly what he is going to do. He doesn't stop one
place today and another the next time he does the stunt. No, he
does it the same way each time.
That is what I am getting at. A stunt isn't difficult if you have
studied what you want to do and know exactly how you are
going to do it. Running your hands through your hair is a rela -
124 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
tively simple stunt, but even the simple stunts require thought.
And writing out the directions for the stunt makes you do that
thinking.
If you write the directions, you'll think of that demonstration
every time you read over the script in preparation for your
talk.
You'll think of raising your hand, of stomping your feet. What's
more, you'll practice your demonstration just the same as y ou
practice your talk, and because you do that you'll do the stunt
more effectively when you appear before the audience.
I assume that most of the readers of this book are called upon
to write business talks. They think of such dramatizations in con-
nection with demonstrations of a product or with stunts that help
make points for them. To illustrate what can be done, I'll describe
two such dramatizations that I have used.
One of these illustrated how cooks use too much water in cook-
ing vegetables. We were illustrating the point that with electric
cooking little or no water is necessary. We explained how the
cooks put the vegetables in a pan, covered them with water, and
boiled the water until they thought the vegetables were done.
Then they poured the water down the sink.
Our story was that by using so much water they cooked the
vitamin content of the vegetables into the water, then threw the
water away. This story further explained that it might have been
better to drink the water that was poured down the sink and throw
the overcooked vegetables away.
Now that story is interesting told only in words. But it was
better when the speaker acted as if he held an imaginary pan in
one hand and held the lid on top of the pan with the other. He
took a few steps toward an imaginary sink and gave a demonstra-
tion of a cook pouring water off the vegetables as he held the lid
in place so that the vegetables would not fall out. Everybody has
seen a cook do this. The demonstration was simple, but it helped
get the point across. Here is how that dramatization was written
into a speech script:
DRAMATIZE SOME POINTS 125
WHAT YOU SAY WHAT YOU DO
Most of us use too much water when we cook Indicate you are
vegetables. We put the vegetables—let's say drawing water out of
peas—into the pan. Then we fill the pan with a tap into a pan.
water until it covers the peas. Now we put
the pan with the water and peas on the Act as if you put pan
stove. We turn on the heat, and we let the on stove.
water boil until we think the peas are done.
Now, what do we do? That's right, we take a Hold hands as if one
couple of heat pads. With one hand we lift the holds pan, the other
pan off the stove like this. With the other holds the lid on top.
hand we hold the lid on the pan like this.
Now we walk over to the sink and pour the Walk to imaginary
sink.
water down the sink.
What's wrong with that procedure? Simply Appear to pour
this—by boiling those peas violently, we water down sink.
boiled most of the vitamin content of those
peas into the water. And what did we do
with the water? It was poured down the
sink. And the vitamins went with it. Why,
it would have been more healthful perhaps
to drink that water and to throw what was
left of the peas down the sink.
Such a dramatization can be carried as far as you want. One
day in Cleveland at the Arcade I saw an Indian carrying the pan-
and-lid demonstration to its logical conclusion. The Indian was
decked out in war paint and all the trimmings. It made little
difference that he talked with a Brooklyn accent; he looked like
an Indian. To sell his tonic he was using this vitamin story. He
told how people cook vegetables in too much water, how they
pour the water down the sink. He went through the dramatiza-
tion by holding his hands as if he had an imaginary pan and lid.
He walked over to a sink and poured the water off the vegetables.
But did he stop there? No, he did not. He squeezed the last ounce
of drama out of his stunt. He added a paragraph to his story that
I had not thought of. Here's what he said:
"Well, where do those vitamins go? I'll tell you—they go down
HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
126
into the sewer. And what happens there? The rats eat them and
they get strong while you get weak."
That shows how to get the greatest amount of drama out of a
demonstration.
I once had a talk to do on the informative label which West-
inghouse puts on its appliances. This label is called a "Tell-all
Tag." It was quite a remarkable little booklet, for it gave data
with which a salesman could answer all the questions that any
customer might ask about such products as refrigerators, electric
ranges, automatic washers, and other appliances. Now I could
have told all those facts. I could have held up a label and shown
what was in it. But here's the dramatization I worked out.
I took a set of those labels—the Tell-all Tags that applied to
every product—and tied them all together with a red ribbon.
There were fifty-three tags and by tying them together I could
put them all in my side coat pocket. Here is how such a dramatiza-
tion is written:
WHAT TO SAY WHAT TO DO
Gentlemen, in this pocket right here I have all Pull coat pocket
the information a salesman would need to sell around to the front
any one of the twenty-two Westinghouse ap- and show it. Make
pliances. Yes, sir, it's all here, and it's not a big sure that the labels
pocket either, is it? do not bulge too
much in the pocket.
Now that sounds remarkable, doesn't it? All the Slap pocket three or
information needed in just one pocket. But it's four times slowly.
here. Yes, it's here and I'm going to prove it to Reach hand into
you. Watch me now. There it is —fifty-three pocket and take out
Tell-all Tags. Yes sir, every one of them, one the bunch of Tell-all
on every model. Tags. Spread tags
in two hands to
show that all the
tags are there. Let
Yes, gentlemen, there it is —all the information tags fall in a string.
that any salesman needs to sell Westinghouse Hold the end high
appliances. so that the audience
can appreciate the
number.
DRAMATIZE SOME POINTS 127
In any such dramatization follow these few simple rules:
1. Don't rush it. Take your time. Talk slowly. You want the
audience to understand what you are doing.
2. Make sure that the audience can see what you are doing.
3. Plan each movement so that you make everything look easy.
4. Explain what you are doing as you go along.
5. Give reasons why things happen. Say, "I push this button
here and this happens. . . ."
6. Hold attention where you want it. Say, "I want you to look
at this red lever. . . ."
Check your written stage directions to see that they follow
these rules.
If you have not been using such stunts in your speeches, let's
try one or two simple ones. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Try one of the more elaborate gestures—raise your hand
above your head, or raise both hands above your head.
2. Take a newspaper clipping out of your pocket and show it.
3. Lift something and show it.
4. Pound on the speaker's table to illustrate a point.
5. Recite a short verse.
6. Sing a line from a popular song.
7. Do a short demonstration. Show how your new mechanical
pencil works.
Every one of those stunts is simple and easy to do. Try one of
them in your next talk and note how it holds interest. Speeches
need dramatizations of this kind. Look for them in your subject
matter. If you can make a point by a demonstration, the point
will be much more interesting to the audience than one that you
make by speech alone. No matter how simple the stunt is, write
out the stage directions. And don't assume that you can write
those directions without trying to do the stunt. Try it first, then
write it. Then rehearse it. Rehearse both words and actions until
you can do them perfectly. A few of these stunts can add interest
to what otherwise might be a rather dull speech.
18. Needle Your Facts
Data, at best, are dull. Yet nine out of ten speakers want to present
figures. They want to startle the audience with some statistic, to
juggle some data. If you are one of the nine, your problem is to
make that data, those statistics, or those figures interesting. For
no matter what kind of audience you have, they don't want to
be bothered too much with information. They'll take a smatter-
ing of it unvarnished, and more of it if it is sugar-coated. But when
you try to lay it on thick, they just can't take it.
And yet you have heard speakers throw data until the audience
is punch drunk. Nobody knew what the man was saying and most
of them doubted whether or not he knew.
Not long ago, after listening to a speaker, one of the audience
said, "That fellow sure could quote figures."
"Do you remember any of them?" I asked.
"No, I don't," he replied.
Of what use was this man's data? Was it to give the impression
that the speaker knew his stuff? Okay, if that was his purpose, he
surely achieved it. But if he wanted to inform the audience, he
surely failed in his point. He left nothing at all with them. If you
plan to leave something with your audience, you had better give
your data some life. How? Well, start with the premise that
the data in your speech will be the dullest part. Then see what
can be done to make it more interesting. Here are some sugges-
tions.
i. Don't Mind the Odd Cents—When quoting figures, one good
128
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 129
rule is—don't mind the odd cents. Let's say you plan to explain
that your business last year amounted to $3,364,392. Why not
say "three million" or "three and one-third million," a figure which
the listeners can picture quickly? All they'll remember, anyway,
is three million, so why not write it that way? If you raised $1,017,
why not write "over one thousand dollars"?
You may say, "Look, Hegarty, I want them to remember these
figures exactly." That happens at times. But when you have that
need, why not give them the figures in a printed piece. Then
when you quote the figures you ask them to pick up the printed
piece and go over it while you talk about it.
If you want to emphasize that amount over three and one-third
million, you might say, "We did over three and one -third million.
And you know how much over it was? Well, it was enough
to buy a fleet of twelve bright, shiny, new Cadillacs." In making
such a statement select an article on which they can readily figure
the cost.
If you want to emphasize the seventeen dollars over the thou-
sand in the club fund, you might say, "We raised over one thou-
sand bucks. Do you know how much over? A buck twenty-five
for every worker in this room."
Yes, figures are dull except to a figure filbert. You have to put
some life into them when you talk to a general audience.
2. Use as Few as Possible—A second rule is—use as few figures
as possible. If you want to show the growth of contributions to a
fund over the last ten years, why quote the figures for each year?
Why not say, "Here's what it was ten years ago. Here's what it
was five years ago. Here's what it is today." Three figures they
might remember. Give them the figures for each year and you put
them to sleep.
It is common practice for speakers to quote columns of figures
like those on the left of the next page. The same story can be told
by a column like the one on the right. Just consider those two
columns. Who but a memory expert could remember the long
column?
13O HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
879,942 1938
987,481 *939
1,217,110 1940
1,418,218 1941 879,942 1938
1,729,346 1942 1,729,346 1942
1,890,765 1943 2,423,897 1947
1,976,923 1944
2,189,657 1945
2,356,965 1946
2,423>897 *947
Let's say these figures represent the business done. When you
use the ten figures the group will probably remember the last
one, perhaps the first if you emphasize something about it. But
when you use only three figures, they might remember all three.
3. Use a Chart—Another way to make figures understood is to
use a chart to illustrate them. But if you plan to use a chart, make
it as simple as possible.
Not long ago a speaker asked my advice on a chart on which
there were twelve columns of figures in one direction and ten col-
umns in another. "They'll go to sleep when you show that," I
advised him. We solved the problem by giving each member of
the audience a copy of the chart, and then as the man on the stage
told his story he asked them to make certain calculations on the
charts they had.
The man who puts figures on his charts usually tries to put too
much on one chart. Somehow men planning speeches, when ad-
vised to put part of their data on another chart, say, "I have twelve
charts now. If I do what you say, I'll wind up with twenty or
more."
My answer invariably is, "What's the difference? You are try-
ing to explain, aren't you? And if it takes twenty or thirty charts
to explain, use the twenty or more."
The fellow who makes your charts charges you by the time,
and it makes little difference whether he spends an hour making
one chart or three.
x
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 131
4. Try Cartoons or Graphic Presentations—If you have to use
a chart, perhaps you can resort to cartoons to help get the idea
over. A cartoon is easy to look at. It offers variety and helps hold
the interest of an audience.
The other day we were discussing a set of charts that a man
was to use. He said, "Put gremlins around those figures. I like
gremlins." He did have a lot of figures and the gremlins helped
make them interesting. So he got his gremlins.
Today there are companies that specialize in presenting figures
graphically. You see these presentations in your trade magazines.
Note them and study them. Perhaps they will give you an idea of
what you can do with figures that you want to present.
Reports to stockholders of corporations use types of visual
presentations that may be helpful. If you are stuck with figures
to present, you can get help. Look for it and use it. I have seen
speakers eliminate three or four pages of data in speech scripts.
When I asked them why, they said, "Nobody is interested in that
stuff." That is close to being true. But when you have the figures
and have to present them, check to see what you can do graphically.
You may find a helpful answer.
5. Put Individuals in It—Another way to handle this same thing
is to put people in it. Let's say you quote the names of persons
you and the audience know and tie them in with your data. That
puts the information in a form that will be heard and perhaps re
membered. I say "perhaps" because some minds just don't remem
ber any figures.
Not long ago I was in Seattle, Washington. In a little guide of
the city I read that in i860 the population of Seattle was only 300.
At the time I was there the town and surrounding area claimed
over 400,000.1 quoted that figure to a friend as we walked around
window-shopping that night. "That's interesting," he said, "but
my mind just doesn't remember figures like that." By talking about
my friend, I can point up my story about figures—a population
jump from nothing to almost a half a million in less than one hun-
dred years.
You have heard illustrations that go, "It is enough money to
132 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
feed all the people in China for one year." That is putting people
into the figure but it does not mean too much to the audience. The
group cannot imagine the number of people in China. If you can
tag your figure on someone in the audience, you will do better. If
you can say something like, "This money will support ten men like
Jack here in the manner to which he has become accustomed—
not for one year, or for two years, but for twenty years. Not Jack
alone, but ten Jacks. Imagine spending that much money on a
project like this."
Or you can say, "Your mayor in this town is paid $7,000 per
year. The money for this project would support twenty mayors.
Why, that's more money than this city puts out for the whole
staff over at the city hall." By using an individual and his earnings,
you are on common ground with your audience.
6. Tell an Anecdote about the Figures—Let's say you have writ-
ten, "The government is going to spend twelve billion dollars on
this project." Why not use a story to make that figure stick? Sup-
pose you go out and ask ten people what twelve billion dollars
means to them. You'll get a lot of different answers, that's certain.
And on those answers you build your story. You talked to this
man—that's a story. You know that stories are interesting. You
said this, he said that—that's gossip. You know that gossip is in-
teresting.
You have heard this kind of presentation of figures. I heard one
man use it in a talk about government spending. He told the story
about his survey. He related what the people said to him and
what he said to them. Now many of the statements were hu-
morous; those interviewed had little idea of what the big figure
meant. The speaker us ed the story to illustrate his point that gov-
ernment spending cannot be reduced because the people who vote
don't understand what it means to them. He could have made
that statement. That is what most speakers would have done.
Others might have tried to prove that it must be true because
it is good common sense to believe that the public would get all
steamed up if they knew how much the spending was costing
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 133
them. But this speaker made a survey and he told a story about the
survey and his story emphasized this ignorance. Because he handled
the figure that way he got his point over.
There is a story in almost every figure. Remember the celebra-
tion your company had when they had the first million-dollar
year? Tell about it. Then use that story to emphasize the fact
that this year you did eleven million dollars. Tell about what
John Whosis said when he was brought up to the front office to get
the gold watch—your first employee with twenty-five years of
continuous service. Today you have two hundred men with
twenty-five years of service. Stories about little things and about
big things can help point up your figures. Look about for these
stories and write them in.
7. Put the Audience in It—Another plan is to put your figures
in terms the man in the room can understand. You write, "Farm in-
come in this country was twenty-six billion dollars last year."
What does twenty-six billion dollars mean to me? I can't appre-
ciate it—it's completely over my head. Yet you can get that
figure into terms the audience can understand. Every listener has
an income. Suppose you break that figure down into the average
income per farm home. There are seven million farms in the
United States. When you divide seven million into twenty-six
billion you know that each farm has an income of about $3,700.
That's about $300 per month or $10 per day. Now you are talk-
ing figures the average fellow can understand. He gets his pay
per month or per week or per day. When you talk of $300 per
month or $75 per week or $10 per day the man understands ex-
actly what you are talking about. The twenty-six billion may
be quite impressive, but the 75 bucks per week is something that
any man can understand.
Similarly, if you wanted to make the point that most auto-
mobiles in the country are ten years old, make that statement, then
ask, "How old is yours?"
You see this in the stories in the newspaper. The President sub-
mits a request for an appropriation. That night the papers say,
134 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"That means four hundred dollars for every individual in the
country." You read that, you whistle, and immediately you start
figuring. You have a wife and two kids—that's four. Four times
four—you whistle again. Your share is sixteen hundred bucks. Too
much.
The President asked for billions. The figure he used was too
large for you to understand. But that four hundred bucks per
person is understandable and impressive. Many speakers quote
figures that are away over the heads of the group. They could
avoid that by taking the trouble to apply them to each member
of the audience. Almost any figure can be reduced to terms that
have a meaning to the listeners. Determine what those terms are
and then get at the reducing. Here are some examples:
The fund wants to raise $300,000. You can talk about that
amount until you are blue in the face, but I sit there asking, "How
much from me?" Let's say there are one thousand prospective
donors—that means $300 per giver, doesn't it?
The sales department sets a quota of 50,000 units. There are
800 salesmen. Okay, that means sixty-three units per salesman,
doesn't it?
The market has 10,000 families. Experience shows that three out
of every ten families buy the product. Then you have three thou-
sand prospects in this market. But if you are trying to get some-
body to do something about three thousand prospects, you are
talking about too large a figure. So let's break it down some more.
Let's take it in blocks—city blocks. There are forty families in
every block. That means there are twelve prospects in every block.
Now you have a figure that can be understood.
Some figures can be reduced easily. Others take more thought.
But it will pay you to look for your best answer to that question,
"How much for me?"
8. Let Them Help—Many times you can make your data stick
by having the audience help you add or subtract or multiply. Let's
say you want to add two figures. You write down the figures,
draw the line under them, and ask the audience to give you the
answer. This centers all attention on the figures.
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 135
There are a number of tricks that you can do with figures when
you are giving a talk with a blackboard or chart pad. You can
have one of the audience come up and write down the figures
for you. This gets attention for your figures, for the others in
the audience will watch carefully to see if your blackboard man
makes any mistakes. On top of that they feel they are helping
because the man selected is one of them.
When you want to get attention for a figure you can ask the
audience to give you estimates. Tell them:
"Last year we sold one hundred thousand of these appliances.
That was our sales—one hundred thousand. How many of them
do you think came back for service? "
Ask one man to guess. Write his guess on the blackboard. Ask
another, then another. Now you have them in a game. When you
have a number of guesses, write the true figure on the board.
By letting them help you with the figures, you make the
figures interesting. All audiences like to help. As Jimmy Durante
says, "Everybody wants to get into the act."
9. Personalize—You can try to put your figure in terms of one
man. Instead of saying that your business represents so much
in retail sales, you might say this: "Every five minutes one thou-
sand persons somewhere in the U.S.A. walk up to a counter in a
retail store and buy one of these gadgets."
Your audience can understand one man, a number of men, a
crowd of men. These are in their experience. The gadgets bought
by the people mentioned above amount to about one hundred
thousand per day. That would be about thirty million per year.
Those are impressive figures. They are the kind that most speakers
use. But let's list these figures in a column and see which explains
best:
Thirty million per year
One hundred thousand per day
One thousand every five minutes
Two hundred every minute
Three every second
136 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Those are the figures. To personalize them you put persons in
them, thus:
Every year thirty million men walk up to a counter and. . . .
Every day one hundred thousand men walk. . . . Every five
minutes one thousand men walk up. . . . Every minute two
hundred men walk up. . . . Every second three men walk
up. . . .
Does putting the men in help? Well, it does give a picture.
When I say, "Thirty men walk into a store," you see a crowd of
men going through the revolving doors of the store, don't you? If
I say "three every minute," I do not give you that picture. So by
personalizing the figures we present the figure and we give a pic -
ture to go with it.
Some thought should be given to that picture. You must decide
what you want the listeners to see. What picture will best help
you make your point?
Let's say the figure is 39,000. You want to make the point that
last year 39,000 residential buildings were destroyed by fire. There
are good picture possibilities in that figure. The homes are pic -
turesque, fire is picturesque, fire engines running to fires are
picturesque.
You can picture all those buildings in one town, a town of about
125,000 population.
You can picture the tenants out in the cold—125,000 of them.
You can picture the houses on fire and the tenants running from
them.
You can picture the fire engines running to those fires, how
many, how often, the firemen hanging from the rushing vehicles.
10. Localize Your Figures—Always try to use figures that ap-
ply locally. Don't use national figures if you can help it. The
man in the audience is more likely to understand the figures for
his county than for the three thousand counties in the United
States. Better still, use his city or his section of the city.
Often the advertising speaker talks of national circulation of
magazines. The figures would be just as interesting if he used
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 137
the local circulation of those magazines. Why tell a salesman or
a store owner that 30,000,000 people will see the advertising when
there are only 200,000 people in his territory?
Why not talk only of that 200,000? Explain that out of that
200,000 people, 72,000 will see the advertising—seven out of every
twenty. Then he has something to go on. Ask the store owner to
stand at the door of his store and count twenty people passing
by. Tell him that seven of that twenty will see the advertising.
That is speaking his language. He knows where the front door
of his store is. He knows those people walking by. Your advertis-
ing is talking to seven out of twenty of them. What are his
thoughts? Couldn't they logically be, "Well, then, I had better
do something to let those seven know that I handle your line?"
If you want to tell your audience of the loss in this country
from floods or erosion or any other carelessness, use the national
figure if you think it will help. But add the local figure too. Tell
them how much it cost their state or their county or their town.
Localize the figures and you will add interest.
11. Repeat the Basis—When using a chart of figures that re-
quire some time in explanation, repeat the basis of your com-
parison. If you are using industry figures, remind them that these
are industry and not company figures. If you are using national
figures, keep reminding the group that the figures are national. Try
for originality. If you hit a new idea, you'll certainly attract at-
tention. With a little imagination you should be able to get your-
self certain devices that will work well for you.
Always try to bring your comparisons down to the people in the
room. The amount of money would buy enough cigarettes to do
him for the rest of his life or all the clothes he'll need for the next
ten years. That's what I mean—get it down close to the chair he's
sitting in. Make it personal and he will listen and understand.
Yes, when you have data to present, put it in the most interest-
ing form you can work out and eliminate those frills that will make
it uninteresting. Perhaps you might have to sacrifice some of
the information in the interest of making the audience under-
stand. But don't worry. They can take only so much in one dose.
138 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
When you try to lay it on, they miss some. That's why it's best
to handle your material in such a way that they retain some of it.
Always remember that when you have data to present, the data
will be the dullest part of your talk. It may be dramatic and ex-
citing to you and perhaps to some of the listeners. But to most of
them—no. They want as little of it as possible. That's why you
should put the heaviest work on making it interesting. Let's get
down on paper the rest of your talk. Then let's take the data sec-
tion and get to work on that.
Perhaps you may feel you are tricking the audience when you
doll up your data, but that's not the point. You are giving it to
them the way they want it. Just like the medicine in the capsule
or the bitter pill inside the sugar-coating. What's more, you are
helping them understand and retain it.
If your data is not too important, don't use it. If you must use
it, simplify it and try to make it interesting.
Let's check the methods for making your figures interesting.
1. Remember that your data will be the dullest part of your
talk. If you don't need it, leave it out.
2. Use as few figures as possible.
3. Drop off the odd cents. Use round numbers—three hun
dred—three thousand—three million.
4. Charts can help you clarify the figures. When you show
them, you give the audience two chances to understand—
through seeing and through hearing.
5. Investigate what you can do with the graphic methods of
presentation. Cartoons are popular—use them if possible.
6. Put individuals into the figures. Have men, women, and chil
dren running around in the figures and you add interest.
7. Tell anecdotes about the figures. All of us like a story.
8. Put the audience into the figures. Present the figures in terms
the audience can compare with what they know. So much
per day, so much per week, so much per family.
9. Let them help. Ask for their help. Let them call out the
answers, let them write on the blackboard.
NEEDLE YOUR FACTS 139
10. Personalize the figures. Every day ten men walk up. . . .
11. Localize the figure if you can. Talk about my town, my
ward, my precinct, my back yard.
12. Repeat the basis. Make sure the audience understands that
the figures are for my ward, my precinct.
But let me repeat—if your data are not too important, don't use
them. If you must use them, simplify them, reduce them, try to
make them interesting.
19. Now Let's Check the Script
If you have followed the directions thus far, you have the makings
of a good speech. You have thought out what you are going to
cover, you have written a synopsis, you have dug up the material
and laid it out on paper. You have selected a plan of presentation,
you have laid out the parts as units, and you have written the end
of the opus.
That is about all a man needs to do in writing a speech. If you
have followed all the suggestions, you have the framework of a
good speech, a speech that your listeners will like. For you are
using the anecdote, you are using gossip, you have introduced
the news element, you have references to people, live people, the
kind that the audience likes to hear about. You have talked about
your possessions, you have used dramatization, and you have made
your data or facts interesting.
Yes, you have a speech that should go over well. But don't start
practicing yet. There is another job to do. Let's check the ma-
terial you have written. And it does need checking. If you have
followed the suggestions, this speech of yours will, no doubt,
ring the bell. But even so, it can stand some pointing up. Remem-
ber, anything you can do you can do better. The following chap-
ters list some of the checks you might make and explain how the
checks can be made.
140
20. Check for Variety
Now that the speech is written, let's check it over for variety. The
proverb says, "Variety is the spice of life." Variety helps make
your speech good. The vaudeville show illustrates what I mean.
First you saw dancers, then elephants, then singers, then acrobats
—one following the other, not two teams of dancers together.
You always wondered what was coming next. Try for a speech
organization that keeps your audience asking, "What's coming
next?"
It is easy to plan for variety. So far in this book we have dis-
cussed a number of different types of speech material. Remember
those devices for making a talk interesting.
1. The anecdote 5. Persons and names
2. Gossip 6. News
3. Needling your facts 7. The family
4. Dramatics 8. Your possessions
Your check for variety in this talk should determine how well
you have shuffled the elements. Don't put all your stories together,
or all your facts, or all your personalities and names. Shuffle them.
Perhaps you are not using all the elements, but if you use only
three or four, shuffle the three or four so that you have variety. If
you have two stories together, try to separate them.
Try for variety also in the types of material you use. All your
stories do not have to be about the same kind of characters. The
audience might go for one story about your Johnny, who is four
years old and bright as a tack, but two or three or four stories
about Johnny might be a pain. In my talk on "How to Run a
141
142 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Sales Meeting" I use stories on these subjects: "A Fight in the
Movies," "The Chairman of a Meeting," "My Number Two Son,"
"An Indian," "A Sales Training Meeting," "The Speaker Who
Shuffled His Card Notes," "A Janitor," "The Fellow Who Passed
Out Something for the Audience to Look at," "A Waiter," "A
Colored Fellow," "An Irish Judge," "The Fellow Who Is Called
Upon without an Idea."
Because this talk is about running a meeting, many of the illus-
trations must be about speakers and meetings. But as you look over
that list you can see how the one element, the anecdote, can be
changed to give variety.
Your stories should be varied as to locale, characters, and types
of conversation. Don't use a bartender in all your stories; it might
lead people to think that you hang around bars. Use cops, min-
isters, bellhops, taxi drivers, too. Show that you get around. If
both your good stories are about bartenders, change one to make
the hero a taxi driver. If the settings of two stories are the same,
change one of them. What difference does it make whether it is a
drugstore or a bar and grill? You may say, "Look, I am seldom
in such low places as bars and grills." Okay, use other locales.
Don't try to make an audience feel that you are at home in Leo's
Place if you never go into such a joint. Use the Union League
Club instead—but don't place your story in the Union League
Club if your club activities are confined to the Mulligan March-
ing and Chowder Club. Remember this—a story is usually just
as good regardless of the type of characters or the locale. Put it in
your everyday environment.
That next element is conversation. Here you have the same
problem you do in the anecdote. You may wonder why I differ-
entiate between the anecdote and gossip. I separate the two be-
cause I feel that the man writing a speech should think of the
anecdote and the conversation that builds up the anecdote as two
things. So many stories used by speakers are dead because they are
not built up with conversation. So as you look over the conversa-
tion in your speech, check it for characters, for dialect, for what is
said. Are any of these factors too much alike? If so, change them
CHECK FOR VARIETY 143
and you will come closer to that variety that makes speeches
sparkle.
Now for your facts, your statistics. Chapter 18 gives you ten or
more ways to make facts interesting. Still, as you put the speech
down on paper, you find you have four facts that you want the
audience to remember—but what have you done? You have han-
dled all of them alike. The othe r day a speaker said to me, "This
speech of mine is lousy with statistics." Later I listened to him
give the speech and I had to admit that it was. But he had made
no effort to make those statistics interesting. With a little work,
any speaker can make his statistics more palatable.
Here is what I mean:
Present your first fact unadulterated without the sugar-coating,
thus—"There are a million Elliths in the United States."
That's one way, but don't handle the other facts in the same way.
Try building the second up with a story, like this:
"The other day I said to a friend, '62 per cent of the Elliths in
the U.S.A. are rumpus.' He said, 'I wouldn't believe it. But that is
true. Think of that, 62 per cent are rumpus.' "
In this way you put the facts into a story. You might go on to
explain what you said about it when you first heard the figure,
what the man in the other audience said, what your secretary said.
That would be using gossip to build up the fact.
Present the third fact in connection with a news item in the
morning's newspaper: "I saw this item in the newspaper this morn-
ing. I cut it out. Here is what it said, 'The purchasing power of the
Elliths has increased 100 per cent in the past year.' Think of that.
They're in a position to buy twice as much as they were one year
ago."
Connect your fourth fact with a name:
"I was talking to John Henry and John told me—" John Henry
is one of the audience, someone the audience knows, thus your
fact will have added interest.
There are four ways, each different, and if your talk presents
a number of facts try this variety in your presentation.
Then, too, you can vary your dramatics. Did you ever study the
144 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
gestures you use when you make a speech? I did a talk not long
ago, and it was a custom of the club to have a photographer snap
the speaker in action. This fellow got a shot of me with my hand
above my head. My friends who see that photograph on my
office wall say, "Ed, you sure were giving it to them when they
snapped that." Now if I had ever been asked to testify under
oath as to whether or not I ever raised my hand above my head
when before an audience I would have said, "No, I never do." And
I would be speaking the truth as I know it. Yet there was the
photograph to testify that I did raise my hand.
By changing your gestures you get some variety. I have one
friend who shakes his finger at the audience—it is about his only
gesture. When you tell him about it, he says, "Yes, I know, and I
have tried to break myself of it. It's a carry-over from my old
school-teaching days." Now one gesture is not good. A little prac-
tice will get you some variety in the gestures you use. But this
variety should be planned, and it should be written into the script.
At this point you pound the table, at this you stand on your head.
Now you whistle, now you sing a bar. Now you tear your hair.
Now you wave your arms. Then you let those arms hang limp at
your sides.
You say you can't do any of those things. You say you plan
to stand up there and start speaking and keep going until you can
sit down. No, no, not that. Sample these dramatics—a gesture or
two. You'll find you won't drop dead. Try one in this speech, two
in the next, three in the next, and so on. Now walk three steps
slowly. Now stand still. When you demonstrate a machine, stand
on one side for a part of the demonstration, then move to the
other side. Turn the machine around, move it forward, move it
back. That movement gives the variety that audiences like. Try
for it in everything you do.
You can also get variety in the names of persons that you men-
tion. In the audience there may be many of your friends. If so, you
can mention this one and that one without repeating. But many
times you know nobody in the audience—perhaps you have seen
none of them before. Usually, though, somebody has arranged
CHECK FOR VARIETY 145
for your appearance, and you can mention that person and the
chairman. But don't mention one person a number of times. He
may like it but the others may not. Try for variety in the persons
you talk about.
You can get variety in the news you bring in to help prove
your points. Don't take it all from the financial page of the news-
paper. There are the news pages, and the home page, and the
society page, and the comics, and the classified sections. There is
news and a tie-in with your subject in all of them. Then don't over-
look the advertisements. They, too, are news. Ever notice the
pages that your wife spends the time on? They are the advertising
pages. Chapter 14 gives you many suggestions on how to make
news interesting. But don't treat all your news alike. Vary it.
Just look at that list of sources of news on page 95 and you
will see the great opportunity you have to get variety in the news
you use. Pick one item out of the newspaper, one out of a maga-
zine, the next out of a feature of your plan, now something un-
usual, follow this with a bit of research, now a bit about a pet
worry, then a minute on some peeve, wind up with a statement that
reveals some knowledge you have which the audience does not
have. Each of these items is news. Cover them as they are listed
and you have a variety of subject matter.
There is also that wonderful source of speech material—your
family. Even though your family consists of one wife, period,
you have her family and your family. Those in-laws and uncles
and aunts, and the cousins on your mother's side, twice removed.
All of them are good. There is no need to use any of them more
than once. You have the rich uncle, and the lying uncle, and
the drinking uncle , and the temperance uncle, and so on far into
the night. Even though Uncle Joe is the only one that speaks
English, even though he is the one that is always getting off the
wisecracks, you can attribute some of his wit to Uncle Gus, who
is always clicking his store teeth.
But it is not good to use only uncles. You might use an uncle,
a cousin, a father-in-law. When you use the family, vary the per-
sonnel.
146 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Your possessions give you another wide field for variety. Don't
tell a number of stories about Rover, the dog. Tell one about
Tiny, the canary, or Daisy, the cat. Not long ago I heard a
speaker tell a story about Wowo, the goldfish that had been bought
as a birthday present for his little girl. Your 1940 car may be good
for a number of stories, but one will be about right. Change the
other one to the boy's bicycle or toy airplane. You have so many
possessions to talk about that you should have no trouble varying
the subject matter. All are good, but not an overdose of any one,
please.
Of course you can get by with a talk that is all anecdote, one
story after another, but it is better to vary the methods you
use. Use all the devices. First an anecdote, then some gossip, then
a fact, now some dramatics—then start that routine all over again.
That's the idea. Get this kind of variety into the script and it will
be more interesting.
In your method of speaking you can also have variety. You can
speak fast and then speak slowly. You can change the speed with
which you cover certain parts of the subject. Now you talk in the
vernacular, now in your Sunday English. Vary the feeling, the
intensity.
By changing the volume of your voice, by whispering now
and shouting later, by screaming, by weeping you can get variety.
You may say, "I can't do things like that." Perhaps you can't. But
if you plan to do any of them, for goodness' sake don't have
all the shouting coming at one time. Shout a little in this part and
then again later on.
Some speakers are good at reciting poetry. That gives a wel-
come variety—if it is done well. One time I needed a special
ending for a speech and I wrote a poem. It was probably a poor
poem, but I got so many requests from the audience for copies
that I leave poetry alone. A prayer also offers variety. It brings a
change in pace, an intensity of feeling not to be found in other
material.
There is another kind of variety that should be mentioned,
although it will be covered more fully in later chapters. It is
CHECK FOR VARIETY 147
variety in your writing. Let's say you are fond of long sentences.
Long sentences don't speak too well. Your script will be a better
speaking vehicle if you vary the length of your sentences, now
a long one, now a short one.
Not long ago one of my friends heard me make my speech "How
to Run a Meeting." Watching the performance, he said, "You
know you had something doing every minute—and it was some-
thing different." Now most listeners wouldn't have noticed. They
would have liked the talk because of the variety and because of
the change of pace but they wouldn't have understood exactly
how it was done. And they would never have dreamed that all
of it was planned—all of it written out. Since you have the talk
written in units, it's rather easy to scatter the various devices for
giving variety. If you seem to have it, okay. If not, do the rewrit-
ing or rearranging necessary. The audience likes variety, so write it
into the script. Keep them asking, "What's coming next?"
You can look for variety in the words you use. Do you have a
habit of using one word too often? I know that I had a habit of
overworking the word "lots." My scripts were full of "lots of
this," "a lot of times," "I do that a lot." One day in checking
a script I got out the thesaurus and found that there were at least
twenty-five wor ds that could be substituted on occasions. Here
is the list I gathered:
many: numerous, a quantity of, profusion
host: legion, swarms, bushels, bevy flock:
herds, covey, crowd, gang, army number:
several, few, some, multitude company:
array, display, multiplicity sundry: divers
Yes, there is no reason to use one word over and over again. You
might get to be like the Negro preacher who so fancied the word
"tremendous" and used it so often that his flock called him "Tre-
mendous" Jones. Let's review the ways you can get variety:
148 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
1. Have you varied your stories as to characters, locale?
2. The conversation—is it too much of the same?
3. The data—have you made use of the devices available to
make them interesting?
4. The gestures you plan—are they alike?
5. How about the persons you bring in—is there a variety of
characters?
6. Are you making any member of your family work too
much?
7. Your possessions—there is not too much of any one of
them, is there?
8. Are you varying the news you use?
9. What stunts do you plan? If you have more than one stunt,
are they different?
10. How about your methods of speaking. Do you have the
shouting lines, the whispering lines?
11. Have you thought of a bit of poetry, or a prayer?
12. Are your sentences varied—short and long?
13. How about a change of pace—now fast, now slow?
14. How about words—do you use the same word over and
over again?
21. Cut Out the "WeY
It is quite natural when you write your speech to overwork the
word "we." That is almost the rule if it is a business speech. "We
built this factory," "We turned out this production," "We made
this many sales," "We did this amount of advertising." We did this.
We did that. When I am asked to revise a speaking script, I
usually find that one of the most difficult jobs is getting out the
"we's."
Of course there are times when the "we's" should be used and
times when they should come out. Let's discuss a few of both.
"We's" should come out when:
1. They make it sound as if you are bragging.
2. You are expressing your own opinion.
3. You could say "you" and give the credit to the audience.
"We's" belong in when:
1. They include the audience.
2. You are telling stories about yourself.
Often a simple change in wording can eliminate the "we's."
Here is a paragraph from an advertising talk. There are a lot of
"we's" in it and they don't seem to help. They seem to put the
speaker in the position of taking too much credit, if not bragging:
We feel that is the job of our magazine, radio and other national
advertising. We feel we've got a preselling job to do. If we can
presell the customers, if we can get them into the dealers' stores,
we have gone a long way toward wrapping up the sale.
149
150 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
There are six "we's" in those forty-nine words. Now let's see
what happens when all of them are cut out:
That's the job of our magazine, radio and other national adver-
tising. It has a preselling job to do. If it can presell customers, if
it can get them into dealers' stores, it has gone a long way toward
wrapping up the sale.
The revision gives the credit to the advertising and not to us.
But won't that paragraph be a better speaking script?
Many speakers have the habit of using "I" or "we" so that it
sounds as if the man is speaking his own opinion. He states what
everybody knows to be a fact, but his wording implies that the
fact is his opinion. Now it is nice for his opinion to agree with
the facts, but the listener is left wondering. Here are some ex-
amples of what I mean in the column at the left. The column at
the right shows how the same statement could be made without
the "I" or "we."
I would like to tell you. . . . You will be glad to hear. . . .
It means this to me. . . . It means this to you. . . .
I take pleasure in telling You will be glad to know. . . .
you. . . .
Here's what I mean. . . . This means. . . .
I feel this is important. . . . This is important. . . .
I talked them into. . . . They agreed to. . . .
There is not much difference in the meaning of the statements
on the right, but the audience gets a different idea of the spe aker.
This fellow is talking sense. It is natural, of course, for a speaker
to make statements like those in the left-hand column. That is how
we talk. But remember, we agreed to write this speech in terms
of the other fellow's interest. That is what we are trying for
when we make such changes.
There are times when the "we" you dictated or wrote could
be changed to "you" without any trouble or without any change
in meaning.
Not so long ago an associate brought a script of a talk for me
CUT OUT THE "WE ' S" 151
to look over. His first line was: "We put on 364 schools." His
department had furnished the instructors, the training aids, and
the other properties used in putting on the schools. But the schools
are put on in towns all over the country and the local representa-
tives had arranged for the places, had invited the guests, and had
promoted the school in many ways.
Since this talk was being made to the fellows who had helped
put on the schools, I suggested that the first line be changed to,
"This past year 364 schools were put on." Now the speaker
didn't claim all the credit. The other fellow could figure that he,
too, did some work on the operation. My friend's script would
have been even better if he had said, "You put on 364 schools."
He could have said that without stretching the truth. Telling
them that they had put on the schools would have been a gra-
cious gesture. If my friend had said that, the reaction of the audi-
ence would have been, "Wait a minute, you did a lot too. If it
hadn't been for you, we couldn't have had those sessions."
Here is an example of how "we" can be changed to "you," with
benefit to the script. Let's say you are the representative of a
manufacturer. You are speaking to a group of salesmen who sell
your product. You say:
We have the best engineering, we have the best design, we have the
best styling. We have the best construction, we have the best per-
formance, we have the best pricing policy. Added to that, we have
the best advertising, we have the best display, we have the best
deal to sell.
Now that is an exaggeration, but it is the way we are inclined
to use "we" in our presentations. Now if those salesmen are selling
your product, why couldn't you write that paragraph thus:
When you sell this product, you have the best engineering, you
have the best design, you have the best styling. You have the best
construction, you have the best performance. You have the best
pricing system. Then added to all that you have the best advertis-
ing, you have the best display, you have the best deal to sell.
152 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
The speaker may still sound as if he is bragging, but he is brag-
ging about what they have, not about what he has or what his fac-
tory has done. It is difficult to build up the pride of those sales-
men in what his factory has done. But he can build their pride
in the line they have to sell. For it is their line—it belongs to them.
There is a big difference. It doesn't take much persuasion to show
you which is the better of those two passages. That same sort of
transition can be made when you are talking about your club,
your community fund, your pet charity, or any other project.
Don't speak of the activity as if it belonged to you or to the board
of directors. Speak of it as if it belonged to the listeners. You
don't run it; they run it. You are not proud of it; they are proud
of it. Get the idea?
Some subjects are difficult to handle in that way. It is not always
easy to find a tie -in with the interest of the audience. But search
for it. Almost any talk can be written so that it appeals directly to
the listener. If you think about it, you can cut out the "we," sub-
stitute "you," and strengthen the appeal.
Now I said that there are times when "we" is right. Here is a
paragraph from a speech given to a group of sales managers. "We"
is used a lot in the paragraph, but this time the "we" includes the
audience. By "we" the speaker means "you and I":
We look into the future. We see many changes coming. We will
see the greatest period of penny pinching that we have ever seen.
We are going to have to meet those changes. We are going to have
to do something about them.
Now those "we's" I wouldn't cut. They are all right as they
are. In using them the speaker is including his audience in the "we."
He is telling what they have to do together. This is a kind of
"we" that belongs in your script.
Another time that "we" belongs is when you are telling a story.
Most times the story is on yourself and you will be using "I"
instead of "we." Never start a story, "A fellow who lives in my
town was making a trip from Los Angeles to San Francisco. . . ."
Start that story, "I was going from Los Angeles to San Fran-
CUT OUT THE WES 153
cisco. . . ." The audience will like it better. You may say, "But it
didn't happen to me, it happened to my neighbor." All right, I
still insist, let it happen to you in the story. The exception would
be if the story makes you out a hero; then it would be all right to
use the other fellow. (I make this point in Chap. 12, but I am re-
peating it here because I don't want you to get the idea that the
ban on "we" and "I" applies to the story too.)
Here is a passage with a lot of "we's" in it. Perhaps they belong,
perhaps they do not. I suggest that you go through it and make the
changes that will make it a better speaking script. (This talk is to
be made by a manufacturer's representative to salesmen who sell his
product):
Naturally one model does not make a line, so we have a complete
line to show you. This is the first meeting we have held to present
a new line where we did not give you a lot of facts and figures. But
there is one trend that we want to talk about, one fact we want you
to consider.
How would you rewrite that paragraph to make it a good talking
script?
Here is another example that you can check in the same way.
(Talk by a sales manager to other sales managers in an industry
conference):
We have to take a broad outlook on this. We have to analyze what
the job is, break it into its parts. We have to break down each part
into tasks. Then we have to develop a plan for teaching those tasks
as a part of that job. That is our job. We have to do it. We can't
delegate it. W7e have to tackle it ourselves.
There are a lot of "we's," aren't there? What are you going to do
about them?
Now here are a number of statements. Some should be changed,
some should be left as they are. Which should be changed?
Next year we will produce
We plan to make
We do most of our training by mail
154 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
We are now carrying on
We were visiting a plant
In our business we have this advantage
We furnish our men with
When I write to John or Henry
Here is something we mail out to prospects
I would like to tell you
I think this is interesting
These are eleven types of passages that get into speeches. In fact,
I have taken all of them from the printed proceedings of a meeting.
To sum up, here is a guide to what should be in and what should
come out:
1. All "we's" should come out when they make you sound like
a braggart, a wise guy, or a know-it-all.
2. Cut out all "Fs" and "we's" when you are expressing your
own opinion. If it is the opinion of your company or your
group, attribute it to them.
3. When you can say "you" and give the credit to the other fel
low, do it. Always express the idea in terms of his interest, not
yours.
4. Leave the "we's" in when they include the audience.
5. When you are telling stories, leave the "I" and "we" in. That's
especially true when you get the worst of the deal or the
joke is on you. When the joke is on the other fellow, use him
in the story. Don't make yourself a hero.
22. Check for Clarity
Now let's check for clarity. Let's see if your audience will under-
stand what you are saying. Perhaps your speech reads beautifully;
perhaps the English is excellent. You've used the proper words in
the proper places. Then, as you rattle it off, the sound of your
voice may fascinate you. But will your audience understand what
you mean?
Here is a paragraph I copied from a talk given by a sales -manager
friend of mine:
Today we enjoy a favorable position in this business. But there is
danger that we may have grown too complacent. Knowledge that
stems from experience warns us that even today we may be jeopard-
izing our position, through stultifying inaction. Considered from
the objective viewpoint, there is no primrose path ahead. To pre -
clude disaster, we need an active prosecution of the business from
all angles.
That sounds good, doesn't it? I know the fellow who used that
and I'll bet he went to a dictionary and dug up some of those
words. And what was the result? Fog, and more fog.
Let's analyze that paragraph and try to determine what the
speaker meant: He had a number of ideas that he put together. Let's
list them:
1. His company had a favorable position in the business.
2. They might grow complacent.
3. Some past experience warned them that because they were
doing nothing, they might be jeopardizing their position.
4. There was no primrose path ahead.
5. They had to start after business.
155
156 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Even when the five thoughts are written out in simple sentences
the idea is still not clear. You may say, "It is a poor paragraph." I
admit that it is. But it is out of a speech, and it illustrates the kind
of stuff so many speakers write into speeches. It might be made
much clearer by this revision:
We are leaders in this business. And we didn't get to be leaders
by doing nothing. But that's what we are doing now—not a thing.
And what happens to any company that does nothing? They start
slipping. Even now we may have started to slip. And there's only
one way to stop that slipping. We have to realize the days of milk
and honey are over. We've got to get to work. We've got to work
hard. We've got to work every angle—go after the business with
all we have and all we know.
Here is another gem that I wrote down:
Yet I think that I have sensed in more than one businessman a cer-
tain distrust of the profit appeal when it is used too broadly, too
bluntly, too monotonously—that is, when it is not used skillfully.
Can you make anything out of that passage? How can you use
the profit appeal too broadly? How can you use the profit appeal
too bluntly? How can you use the profit appeal too monotonously?
How can you use the profit appeal skillfully?
Now that last question could get you an answer. But the others?
I don't get the meaning. The person who wrote that in his speech
probably thought it was mighty good. When he read it to him-
self he was quite proud of it. When he read it to the ever-loving
wife he mistook her slight frown for approbation. When he re-
hearsed, it sounded good as he said it aloud. But what in the world
does it mean?
Here's what you might look for in checking your own manu-
script for clarity:
1. Sentences and paragraphs that don't mean anything or that
will confuse the hearer.
2. Words of doubtful meaning—the words that professional
people bandy about so easily.
CHECK FOR CLARITY 157
3. Trade terms that may not be clear to your audience.
4. Technical jargon that may not be understood.
5. Explanations that may not be clear.
When you come to a passage that may be in any way confus-
ing, ask yourself, "Will they understand?"
Then let's check for those words of doubtful meaning. I don't
mean words that are not familiar to you. I am speaking of words
that are sprinkled through speeches—words that the audience
might not know. You may say, "When you view the situation ob-
jectively. . . ." You may understand the word "objectively" but
does the audience understand? One of my friends put a young man
in his organization on the job of interviewing applicants for posi-
tions. His instructions to the young man were, "You have to view
everybody objectively." To my friend that instruction was simple.
To the boy it had an entirely different meaning. My friend didn't
find this out for about a week, until he sent another employee over
to ask the young fellow how he was getting along.
The young fellow said he was getting along fine. The second
man asked him what he had learned.
The young fellow said, "There is one thing I've learned about
this job. I surely have to be objectionable."
There is a whole list of such words that seem to be popular with
speechmakers. You hear such words as these:
integrate empirical functional
dissemble subjective abstract
prescient sardonic vertical
horizontal persiflage recreant
moribund implement
I made notes of these words as speakers said them. It is not a list
that I made up or a list of words that I don't like. They are good
words but not good for a speech. Any one of them may express
your meaning, but will the listeners understand?
I heard a speaker use the word "empirical" one night in a speech.
He said, "Empirically speaking. . . ." There were six men at the
table with me and I asked each one of them what the word meant.
158 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Each gave me a different definition. The next morning I looked
up the word in the large dictionary. It did have a number of mean-
ings. I met the speaker later that day and asked him what he meant
when he used the word. He said, "Rule of thumb." Now why
didn't he say "rule of thumb"? It would have been clear, and every
one of his listeners would have understood.
With a little thought you can express the same idea in words that
anybody will understand. The words listed are seven-letter words
or better, but there are also a large number of small words that are
just as unsuitable. Words like prone, prior, vapid, facet, tacit are
all good words but others will make your meaning clearer in a
speech.
Next check for technical language. If the audience is to be made
up of technical men, technical language will be all right, for pre-
sumably it will be understood. But if the talk is to be given to the
Rotary or the Kiwanis or any of the other service clubs, steer
clear of the technical. You know how you get tangled up with
technical language, how you always have to pause to figure out
whether the podiatrist or the pediatrician is the foot doctor. The
audience is in the same position when you use the technical lan-
guage of your profession. Financial words come under this head-
ing, and legal words and the words of doctors and medicine.
If you belong to any of those professions, watch that you do not
go technical on your audience.
Here's a quotation I took from a speech I heard recently. The
speaker was talking about the rating of salesmen. He said, "First
you rate the qualitative factor, then the quantitative." Now I im-
agine that was mighty plain to the speaker but I have spent most
of my life in the business of selling and sales management and it
meant not a thing at all to me.
Perhaps it is not clear because the idea is not completely ex-
pressed. It may be that the speaker was trying to express his idea too
fast. It may be that he didn't allow himself enough words. But no
matter what the trouble, I am sure that most of his listeners lost his
point.
CHECK FOR CLARITY 159
Many times this desire to save words results in thoughts that are
not clearly expressed. Here is a line from a talk describing a re-
frigerator:
The horizontal motif of the decorative lines eliminates the lanky
look apparent in some competitive models and conforms to the
horizontal feeling of the modern kitchen.
The sentence describes some horizontal lines on the front of
the refrigerator. The lines make the refrigerator look wider than
it is. Then these lines match the horizontal lines of the floor cab-
inets in the modern kitchen. As speech material that sentence might
better be written:
See these horizontal lines across this door? They make the re-
frigerator look wider—not tall and skinny like so many refriger-
ators today. Another thing about them—they match the horizontal
lines on everything else in the kitchen—stove, cabinets, and sink.
Revised in that way the idea is expressed more clearly. Some-
times you can't cut the wordage too thin. If you speak your
thought too fast, the idea may be lost. In checking for clarity, see
if you have any sentences like this refrigerator example in which
you went so fast that the idea was lost along the way. It is easy to
do. No matter how hard you try to write your speech in spoken
language, you will have trouble doing a complete job.
Let's say that passage was written in direct statements. It would
go something like this:
These decorative lines are horizontal. They eliminate the lanky
look of competitive models. They match the horizontal lines of
the modern kitchen.
In Chap. 8 I made the point that introductory phrases and
dangling phrases are not good speech material. Look at that sen-
tence as it was originally written. Make sentences out of those in-
troductory and dangling phrases, and the passage is easier to under-
stand. It becomes three sentences instead of one. But it speaks better
as three sentences than it does as one.
160 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
There is a lot of this fast writing in the "How to Use" or the
"How to Install" directions that come with most products. The
writer does not give enough details. The humorous writers and
the cartoonists have a lot of fun with such directions. And well
they might. Now if the man who writes the directions telling you
how to use his product cannot make himself clear to you, don't
you see how careful you should be to make things clear to your
audience?
Trade jargon can be confusing, even to men who work at the
trade. I love to hear the sales management consultants get off such
bits of nothing as "sales casting," "inflationary cycles," "areas of
influence," "distributive control." They leave me cold, and a bit
confused, too. An automobile salesman calls a car a "job." Why? I
don't know. The public calls it an automobile or a car.
Even the simplest of trade language may be misunderstood. A
salesman sold a refrigerator to a homemaker. When he had finished
giving her the explanation of what the refrigerator would do, he
asked her, "Now is there anything you don't understand?"
The woman said, "Yes, I don't quite understand about defrost-
ing."
The salesman said, "Why, that's easy. Just cut it off."
A month later the salesman met the woman. He asked her how
her refrigerator was working and how she liked it. The woman
said, "I like it all except defrosting."
"Defrosting," the salesman said. "Why that's simple. What do
you find difficult about it?"
"Well," the woman said, "there must be some easier way to get
the ice off than to cut it off with a knife."
The salesman had meant that she should turn off the electricity
when she wanted to defrost. To him that was "cutting it off." To
her, "cutting it off" meant getting a knife from the kitchen cabinet
and cutting the ice off the freezer. Yes, even simple technical lan-
guage should be checked.
So check through your talk. Are you making yourself clear, or
are you mouthing words that sound all right but mean nothing?
Here are some guides:
CHECK FOR CLARITY l6l
1. Check for sentences or paragraphs that are not clear.
2. Look for wording that might confuse.
3. Check out the words of doubtful meaning; substitute words
that we all know.
4. Eliminate trade words that may not be clear to the audience.
5. Blue-pencil the technical jargon that may not be understood.
6. Check to see that all explanations explain. Remember the di
rections on the package.
23- Is It Specific?
Of course they want to "broaden their horizons." But if you have
written that in your speech, let's cut it out. Let's substitute for
"broaden their horizons" whatever it is they should do. Perhaps you
mean to learn to speak in public, to learn to dance divinely, to learn
to answer the waiter in perfect French, to master the manly art
of fisticuffs. If so, say that. Be specific. Be definite. Be particular.
Be precise.
Any of the skills listed in the paragraph above could be listed
under the head of "broadening their horizons," but when you
mention them by name the audience understands. If you listen to as
many speeches as I do, you will be conscious of the great amount
of vague generalities that an otherwise sensible citizen gives out
when he stands up to talk. As much as I watch myself, I find my-
self needing a second sentence to explain a preceding one that was
a little vague. So let's check to see if we can make this talk more
specific, more precise.
There are a number of ways that you can fail to be specific. Let's
discuss a few of them:
There is the method of expressing your ideas. You say some
words. In themselves the words are all right, but they don't ex-
press the ideas concretely.
There are the times when we weaken the statement by trying
to include too much. We don't say what we mean specifically
because we feel that a small percentage of the listeners might be
left out.
Then we tack on additions. We say, "etc." Perhaps that addition
162
IS IT SPECIFIC? 163
is not needed. We may have covered all the ideas in what we said
before the "etc."
The names of places is another point on which we are seldom
definite. We say, "A large eastern city. . . ."
Next come dates and times. Somehow we have built up a fund
of ways of telling the time of day or of naming the year without
using numbers.
Our references are also not too specific. We say, "Somebody
made a survey. . . ." We know that we should be precise in such
things, but it is surprising how often we are not; deliberately, too,
it seems.
Then there are words—a large group of them—that are not so
specific as we seem to think they are.
Our instructions to audiences are not definite enough. We come
to the end of the speech. We are assigning the task we want the
group to do. And we don't state it specifically.
Let's talk about the way you express ideas. You say, "The pack-
age was damaged because of careless handling." That is a com-
mon statement, isn't it? But what happened? Did some fellow in
the express company drop it? Was it thrown across a car by the
friendly employee of the railroad? Was it mishandled in the mail?
Did somebody lay a heavy crate on the "Fragile, Handle with
Care" sticker? Was it dropped or bumped? Perhaps it makes no
difference. But if it will help to tell what happened—if the audi-
ence should know—then tell them exactly what happened. That's
what I mean by being specific. A man who introduces me many
times says, "He is the author of many books on selling and sales
management." That is true. But why didn't he name just one of
the books? The mention might sell a copy or two. Strange how
we dodge the specific.
Instead of saying that food budgets go further, why not tell
what can be saved? Put it in dollars and cents if you can. Instead
of speaking of the purity of soap, say that it is 9944 per cent pure.
One company has done that and is doing quite well.
Sometimes a speaker wants to include too much to be definite.
Not long ago I looked over a script for a talk in which the man
164 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
used the term "service agencies." He was talking about various
kinds of business houses which service electric appliances. "Why
don't you say 'service shops'?" I asked him.
"I want it to cover everything," he replied. Now of course
there are a few companies servicing electric appliances that can-
not be classified as service shops. And his service agencies did
cover everything. But if he had wanted to make himself clear he
would have done better to forget the larger field. He would have
done better if he trie d to cover one pier rather than the whole
water front.
There is a lot of this kind of thinking in writing speeches. The
other day we were discussing what we would ask a group of sales-
men to do in a speech we were writing. In the interest of making
the instructions specific, it was suggested: "Let's have each sales-
man ask for an order for three of the packages from every ac-
count." That seemed like a good idea, and the plan was adopted.
Then one of the group asked, "What will that do to the fellow
who would buy twelve?" Now there were a hundred who would
buy three for every five who would buy twelve, but the group
voted to cut out the mention of three. Instead, the talk would
ask the salesman to sell as many as possible. As a concession, after
much argument, the line read, "at least three to every account."
This latter statement was not so strong as the former, but it had
to do. Don't try to include everything. If you can leave out some-
thing and make the statement more specific, take the chance on
leaving out the extras.
Our tendency to add on illustrates this. We say "engineering,
manufacturing, and other such functions." Why not name those
other functions? So often the two named are all you need mention.
But adding "etc." has become a habit.
I have a friend who has developed the habit of saying "and so
forth and so on." In every talk he makes he uses that line a number
of times. The line means nothing. It adds nothing to his talk. I have
asked him about it and he says, "It's a peculiar habit, isn't it?
I suppose it is a sort of verbal recess until another thought strikes
IS IT SPECIFIC? 165
me." If you have any verbal recesses, let's cut them out of your
talk.
In the names of places and things we tend to steer away from
the specific. We say, "I was walking down the street in a large
Middle Western city." Why not say, "I was walking down Euclid
Avenue in Cleveland"? We say, "I was sitting in the reception
room in my favorite club." Why not name the club? The Elks,
The K of C, the Eagles, the Moose, the Union League, or the
Ajax Marching and Chowder. Such names are specific. They give
the listener a better picture. They are a part of the lives of every
one of us. Name the town, the street, the club, the hotel, the rail-
road. All of them are excellent speech material and they are better
speech material when you are specific.
When you mention Euclid Avenue in Cleveland, the listener
who knows that street gets a picture. If you say you were in the
neighborhood of the Statler, he knows about where you were. Such
references make a speech live. If you talk about a store, name the
store. If you are talking about Cleveland, it is Higbee's, or May's,
or Halle's, or Linder's. If you talk about a firm, name the firm. If
you tell about a train trip you took, tell from where to where and
name the railroad. Some of the listeners have made that trip too,
and they will ride along with you. When you hear some speakers
handle such material, you would think they were out for the FBI
on a secret mission.
On dates we also are not so specific as we could be. Rule out all
such expressions as "the turn of the century" or "in the early
iooo's." It is just as easy to name the year—1899—1900—1901.
You say, "A man in his middle fifties." Make him fifty-three or
fifty-four. There is a bit more reality about the number.
If you are using data, check all your references and make them
specific. Perhaps you have written "a recent survey." Change that
to "a survey made by the National Association of Manufacturers
in 1949." If you have said "reliable sources of information,"
change it to name the sources. Often when you use data from a
survey, the group only half believes you anyway. They wonder
166 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
how the survey was made. They question whether or not the sur-
vey people were hired to find out the truth or something that
you wanted them to find out. Thus, when you quote a reference,
be as specific as you can about it.
There is a long list of words used in speeches that should be
checked. One that the men in the electrical business bandy about
a lot is "automatic." We say an appliance is automatic when it
adjusts itself, operates itself, does the work without attention,
turns itself off and on. Here is what I mean.
A toaster is automatic when it adjusts its timing so that the toast
is always the same, even though the toaster is cold for the first
slice and hot on the tenth slice.
A washer is automatic when it takes the clothes through a
cycle of washing, rinsing, and drying.
An electric iron is automatic when it turns itself on when cur-
rent is needed to heat the iron to the temperature the user has se-
lected, and turns itself off when the selected heat is reached.
An electric water heater is automatic when it turns on the elec-
tricity to heat the water when its temperature goes below the
degree at which the thermostat is set, and turns itself off when
the water is heated to the temperature setting of the thermostat.
All those appliances are automatic, yet if we are to be specific
about them we can't use the one word "automatic " to describe
them.
Another word we use a lot is "efficiency." We say that an ap-
pliance is efficient when we mean that it uses less electricity or
costs less to operate. Not long ago I was talking to a man about
an electric comforter. Because the comforter has a top layer of
cotton batting over the warming sheet, the comforter is more
efficient. It is more efficient because the heat is allowed to escape
into the room more slowly. Because of that insulation on top, the
warmth from the warming sheet stays in the bed. Now that makes
the bed comforter more efficient, but it would be more specific
to say that because of the insulation the heat does not escape into
the room and so the comforter uses less electricity and costs less
to operate. Those latter expressions are more specific, True, it is
IS IT SPECIFIC? 167
efficient, but when you say so you may not be telling the story you
think you are telling.
The word "efficiency" is used in a number of such ways. If the
appliance saves labor, it is efficient, or if it saves time or water
or soap or cleaning. Those qualities make the appliance more effi-
cient, but if the listener is to understand what you mean, you should
say the appliance is efficient, and then tell why. The "why" helps
make the statement specific .
"Economy" and "economical" are words in this class. A tire that
runs 100,000 miles is more economical than one that runs 25,000
miles, but why not talk about that extra 75,000 miles? Often
one word can't tell the story effectively.
"Ingredients" is another such word. We say, "Add the ingredi-
ents." It would be more specific if we named those ingredients.
The home economist at the cooking school picks up the little roll
of waxed paper and, holding it carefully, spills the contents into
the bowl, where they are drawn into the whirling beaters of the
mixer. She says, "I mixed these ingredients beforehand so as to save
time here." I feel that it would be better for her to say, "The flour,
salt, sugar, and baking powder are already mixed in this little roll
of paper. I mixed them beforehand to save time here." This state-
ment is more specific. Perhaps someone in the audience does not
know what the ingredients are. It may be that they would like
to know what ingredients can be mixed beforehand.
We use such expressions as "metal objects." In talking about
a garbage disposer that fits into the sink, we say, "You can grind
up anything but metal objects." We mean tin cans and bottle
caps. We say the machine will grind all kitchen waste. We mean
that it will grind all garbage. But even that is not enough. How
about bones and olive pits? Do you get what I mean? "Metal ob-
jects" may mean tin cans and bottle caps to you. But it may mean
automobile door handles, airplane wings, or hairpins to another. So
if you are describing your product in your speech and telling what
it will do, be specific.
The instructions you give should be checked. If you want your
audience to do something, make your instructions specific. It is
168 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
not enough to say, "Give to the Red Cross." It is much better to
say, "Give more to the Red Cross this year than you did last year."
It is even better to say, "Give three dollars and fifty cents to
the Red Cross."
Don't tell a group of salesmen to go and call on a large number
of dealers. Tell them to call on every dealer they have. Tell them
to call on three dealers a day. Cut into their understanding with a
specific statement of what you want them to do.
Let's say your fund workers are assembled at a big breakfast. As
soon as they finish that second cup of coffee they are to start call-
ing on prospects. Don't tell them to call on all they can. Tell them
to call on six today and six tomorrow. Don't tell them to use the
literature to back up their sales talk. Explain how to use the litera-
ture, what to say, and what pictures to point out. Don't tell them
to bring the pledge cards back to the office. Explain that they are
to bring them to Miss Ajax, in room 212 on the second floor. So
often in giving instructions in speeches we leave the listeners with
a verbal wave of the hand. We can't do that. We must tell them
exactly who, what, and how. Leave nothing to the imagination;
don't expect them to figure out what to do. Tell them—speci-
fically.
The law of averages can be a big help to you in being more
specific. Let's say your speech tells a group of salesmen about a
million-dollar magazine advertising campaign that your company
is planning. You have written, "This campaign is costing the com-
pany a cool million dollars." That is a lot of money and, as such,
it is impressive. But suppose these salesmen work in a territory that
includes ten counties in one state. The million dollars isn't all being
spent to help them. If there are 1,000 salesmen all over the country,
that million dollars breaks down to one thousand dollars per sales-
man. When you tell me you are spending one thousand dollars
to help me, you interest me. So why not say, "This campaign is
costing the company a cool million dollars. Now how much is that
for every one of you? It is one thousand dollars for each salesman
—that's what it is. One thousand dollars for every salesman in the
country—one thousand dollars for everyone in this room."
IS IT SPECIFIC? 169
The amount every team should raise in a fund drive can be
averaged out. Tell them that the total is $56,000. But then explain
that, with twenty teams working, it amounts to $2,800 per team.
Oh, I can hear some of you saying, "We can't do that, for some of
the teams are expected to do more than others." That's right, they
are. But if you can't be that specific, be as specific as you can.
There are times when you can't use such averages, but when you
can they are a big help.
In the advice we give in speeches we are often indefinite. We
say, "Every young man should take a course in public speaking."
It would be better if we said, "Every young man should take Dale
Carnegie's course in public speaking." That advice would be bet-
ter if we added some details about the course: where and when
and how much. We say, "All of us should work on our vocabulary
constantly." We may say, "Get a good book on vocabulary build-
ing—there are many of them." It would be much better if we
named a book, told where it could be bought, and the price. So
if you have any advice in your speech, check it again. Can you
make it more specific?
I have evidence that listeners act on such advice. I did a talk in
the Henry Grady Hotel in Atlanta, and after it a young man
came up and said, "Mr. Hegarty, that book you referred to—is it
called 'How to Run a Sales Meeting'?"
"It is," I admitted, beaming.
"Was this advice you just gave us in that book?" he asked.
"Every word of it and more," I agreed.
"Could you tell me where I might buy a copy?" he went on.
"There is a bookstore right next door," I said. "You might try
there."
At the next intermission the young man was back to see me.
"They had it," he said. He showed me the book, and I auto-
graphed it.
In that talk I had suggested that those who wanted to have better
meetings should get the book. This fellow was interested and he
acted on my advice. But I was specific. I said, "Buy my book." I
named it and I probably quoted the price.
170 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
So try to make your speech specific. Look for such expressions
as these: unprecedented situation, high official places, economic
future, broad-gauge policies, potential obstacles, broader role, the
broad selling argument, channels of consumption, major mechanical
goods, economic dead center, sheer volume involved, mountainous
amounts, major purchases, economic wheels turning, twofold re-
sponsibility, dominant position, at all levels, desirable ends, large
segment of the nation. Yes, look for them, and when you find them,
see if you can't substitute something more specific. I took all those
expressions out of one speech. I believe that many of them can be
improved—perhaps not all of them, but most.
Here, to sum up, are the suggestions covered:
1. Check your method of expressing ideas.
2. Use exact dates—not "the turn of the century."
3. Ditto for time—"it was two-thirty in the afternoon."
4. Name the places—the towns will like the advertising, and
so will the hotels and the stores.
5. Be definite about your references. Tell who said it—not an
eminent Scottish poet—it was Robert Burns, wasn't it?
6. Use words that have a definite meaning. You confuse me
with words that can mean many things—efficiency, econ
omy, automatic.
7. Expressions such as "metal objects" should be cleared up—
they cover too broad a field—from watch springs to loco
motives.
8. The additions—"this and that" and "things like that." The
"things like that" should be named.
9. Check your instructions—are they specific?
10. Use the law of averages when you can to make the data
apply more specifically to the listeners.
11. When you give advice give it specifically. Use names, dates,
prices. They will be more likely to act if they know exactly
what to do.
24.- Shorten the Long Sentences
For the next check, consider the long sentences. Let's count the
words between the periods and see what we can do about lessen-
ing the number. Why? Well, short sentences are easier to say.
They allow you to put the emphasis where you want it. Here is an
example.
"It is new, unique, ingenious, and different." If I want to
emphasize each of those four points, I could say: "It is new. It is
unique. It is ingenious. It is different." Bang, bang, bang, bang—
I can hit each word just as hard as I choose. It might be even
more effective if I used a contraction of "it is," changing it to
"it's." Then it would read: "It's new. It's unique. It's ingenious.
It's different." The example is an exaggeration, but it explains the
point. When you talk in long sentences it is easy to get tangled
up in something like this:
"These mounting, stormy tirades against American free enter-
prise during the last decade, far from wearing themselves out, have
prospered and won new converts, because American management
people have failed to provide the true story of the glorious achieve-
ments of American free industry."
Why is this true? Perhaps it is because too many management
people speak in the language of this sentence. I'll bet the speaker
who spoke that sentence was an orator. And that those inarticulate
management people he mentions applauded his remark.
Some of this addiction to the long sentence may come from
the newspaper reporter. He is taught to get enough into the first
171
172 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
sentence so that a reader, caught by the headline, keeps on reading
until he knows what the story is about. Here is an example:
"Dedication of the new Wurlitzer electric organ purchased
recently by the Grace Gospel Church will be held Sunday at
3 P.M.,with Harold Byers, organist, presenting the program."
There are a number of ideas in that sentence. The church has a
new organ. It is a Wurlitzer. It is electric. It will be dedicated
Sunday at 3 P.M . Harold Byers, the organist, will present the pro-
gram.
Suppose you were a member of the Men's Club of that church,
and it was your job to tell the other members that the dedication
was scheduled for Sunday and you wanted them all to attend.
How would you say it? Surely not in the words of that lead
sentence in the newspaper account. In speaking you do not have
to get it all into the first sentence. Your audience is sitting there
in front of you. They will continue sitting, and listening, you hope,
while you say a number of sentences.
There are many reasons why the long sentence may get you into
trouble. Here are a few:
1. You stumble over the wording.
2. You have a tendency to use meaningless phrases.
3. You lose a portion of the idea.
4. You make yourself more difficult to understand.
5. You so load the sentence with ideas that you lose emphasis on
any one of them.
6. You ask the audience to make too much effort to understand
you.
A long sentence is difficult to speak. Pick up any magazine and
select a ten-word sentence. Read it as if you felt strongly about the
idea expressed. You are fighting madly for this cause, or you are
howling against it. Give the sentence reading your all. Now try a
twenty-word sentence. Read it aloud. Try to put the same force,
the same conviction into the reading. I am sure that the demonstra-
tion will explain what I mean.
SHORTEN THE LONG SENTENCES 173
"But," you say, "in the movies and on the stage the actors use
long sentences." That's true, they do. But those sentences are re-
hearsed. In the movies they photograph and record one short scene
at a time, but before the scene is taken the lines are gone over again
and again. They are carefully timed and punctuated with gestures
and facial expressions. Each scene is photographed a number of
times and only the best of the shots is used.
In a stage play they say the same lines night after night. Yet
even so, some long-run plays are rehearsed two or three times a
week. Stage managers know that for long speeches to be right they
must be rehearsed.
Your speech will probably be made only once. True, you'll re-
hearse it some. But you won't go over the wording again and again
to make sure that your delivery is perfect. Therefore, cut out those
long sentences because the short ones are easier to say.
I can't explain why speakers use such long sentences. Yet they
do. A short time ago I heard a speaker say:
"It is a perfectly normal and proper question to ask whether this
tendency is temporary." Try saying that.
Now, try saying this:
"Far be it from me to resort to the statistics of the economist
for proof of the fact that the years ahead offer American industry
a golden opportunity to prove its soundness and ability." Difficult,
isn't it?
That sentence is long. It is also loaded with meaningless words.
The speaker could have said, "The years ahead offer American
industry a golden opportunity to prove its soundness and ability."
That "Far be it from me . . ." phrase is not needed. We often pad
our "prepared remarks" with such meaningless phrases. A long
sentence permits these to creep in. So let's check over the script
looking for periods. If we find them spaced too far apart, let's put
them closer together.
One reason for the short sentence is that when you try to speak
the long one you lose a portion of the idea. Remember my point
about the adjectives. If you use an adjective that is too strong, you
lose the noun it was supposed to modify. If you use a weak ad-
174 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
jective, you lose the adjective. It is tough, but you can't win. Here
is a long sentence that illustrates that point:
Charts can be used to list facts and statistical data which the audi-
ence can grasp at a glance, and then retain as a vivid mental impres-
sion.
When that sentence is spoken, the comma gives it the effect of
two sentences. But in the writing, the speaker might just as well
have made that clause after the comma a separate sentence. If I were
writing that sentence for speaking, it would go:
Charts can be used to list facts and statistical data. (First idea)
The audience grasps the facts and the data at one glance. (Second
idea) It retains them as a vivid mental impression. (Third idea)
That is better, but the material should be worked over again to
make it speak easier. Just say those three sentences aloud. They
don't speak too well, do they? Let's try again.
Charts can be used to list facts and statistical data. The speaker
turns the chart. The audience sees the data. It reads and grasps the
message. And it retains that message as a vivid mental impression.
That is better as speaking material. There are ten more words in
this version than the original. Now let's see what happens when
the adjectives are discarded. The passage will then read:
Charts can be used to list data. The speaker turns the chart. The
audience sees the data. It grasps the message. It retains it. Why? Be-
cause by using a chart, the speaker has given a second impression.
This impression is more likely to be remembered.
There are almost twice as many words in this example as in th e
original, but this passage will speak well. Try it aloud. The com-
plete idea is expressed in the first five sentences. Here:
Charts can be used to list data. The speaker turns the chart. The
audience sees the data. It grasps the message. It retains it.
Those twenty -five words express the three ideas in the original
SHORTEN THE LONG SENTENCES 175
passage. In my talk called "How to Make a Chart Talk" I make
two of the points in these words:
Charts give a second impression. They give you something to look
at. The picture emphasizes what I say. It helps you remember.
That has one more word than the passage that started this dis -
cussion. Perhaps it doesn't express the same ideas, but it comes
close. And it will speak. I know for I have spoken it before audi-
ences.
The long sentence can be difficult to understand. Not long ago
I heard a man discuss the recruiting of college men. The following
is one of the sentences he used. It seemed unusually long as he
said it, and I got this transcript from the stenotypist.
A number of companies have empowered their personnel men to
make job offers on the college campuses at the time of the interview
or to make the job offer by mail without offering to the applicant
the opportunity to visit and talk to the sales executives of the
company.
There are forty -nine words in that sentence. It is long. And it
is difficult to ferret out the meaning. You know as you read it that
the speaker thought of that speech as "my prepared address." Let's
break that sentence up into the thoughts e xpressed.
Some personnel men make job offers on the college campuses.
They are empowered to do this at the time of the interview. Or
they make the job offer by mail. The applicant gets no opportunity
to visit the factory and talk to the sales executives.
Of course, this passage could be made better for speaking if it
was entirely rewritten. You may say, "The fellow read that
speech." That's right, he did. If he had read the sentence as a
number of short ones, it would have sounded better. It would be
better for speaking if it were written:
Some personnel men make job offers on the college campuses.
Some make offers by mail. In either case, the applicant does not
have the opportunity to visit the factory and talk to the sales
executives.
176 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
This last is better. Try reading that first passage aloud. You are
trying to make the point that the young man from the college
should be allowed to visit the factory and talk to the sales execu-
tives. You feel strongly about this point. So put some force into
the reading. Give it all you've got.
Next try reading that first revision. It goes better, doesn't it?
Now try the second revision. Do you see what those long sen-
tences do to the force that you can put into a speech?
Sam Vining says that he doesn't worry too much about the
length of the sentences in a script he speaks. He says, "I can put
in the periods by a shrug of my shoulders, or a wave of my
hands." He can, too—and make the audience like it. But there
are only a few Sam Vinings in this country. So, get those periods
spaced closer together.
One of the difficulties of the long sentence is that you may lose
the emphasis. How would you put emphasis on any one of the ideas
listed in this sentence?
The general pressure for full employment and the desire of busi-
ness in its own interest to provide for employment leads to only
one conclusion, namely, that volume consumption is necessary in
order to provide markets, and that high employment becomes im-
possible without consumption at a rate greater than ever before.
It would take a skillful speaker to use that sentence and not lose
his audience along the way. He would need all the tricks—ges-
tures, pauses, changes in his manner of speaking, perhaps even a
bit of silence. But the sentence can be broken up into short sen-
tences. One way to look at this job of working on the long sen-
tences is to think about how that kind of sentence would break up
in a conversation between two businessmen. Let's see how it looks
that way:
"The country needs full employment."
"Yeah, and business needs it too. How can business make a
profit with a lot of unemployed?"
"It can't—so we've got to sell everything the factories can
make."
SHORTEN THE LONG SENTENCES 177
"And the factories are bigger, so we've got to sell more than
we ever did before."
Conversation always does that to ideas. For in conversation you
pause, and you repeat, and you emphasize, and you put in those
connectives that make the difference. Conversation has life. It is
easier to listen to, it is easier to read.
In making these revisions, don't leave out any ideas that you feel
are important. Don't change the ideas. Just change the way you
express them so that the audience has a better chance to understand.
Let's consider that sentence that I quoted above. It is out of the
proceedings of a sales conference. About five hundred men paid
ten dollars to get into that conference. They came to learn. They
were serious about it. They needed ideas. Now most of those men
would attempt to listen to the speaker. But becaus e of the way he
tried to load all his ideas into one sentence, they would have to
listen intently.
I admit that the speaker did not get paid for his effort, and you
may ask, "Why should he try to make it clearer? If the dummies
can't understand that, it is their funeral."
That is right, it is. But if the speaker is trying to persuade the
audience to do something, he should try to make himself clear.
And he should try to make it easier for the audience to listen. If
you use long, involved sentences, the audience will have to listen
intently to get your meaning. If you use short sentences—one idea
per sentence—it does not have to listen so intently. Which kind of
talk would you rather hear?
Politicians and statesmen resort to the long sentence. Here is a
gem culled from one of the Washington columns:
Our government could not possibly expect to find the necessary
support for a policy involving military alliance with a power that
continues to lend sanction, tacit or active, to evils of the very kind
which it is the objective of the proposed pact to oppose and pre-
vent.
That is a lulu. I challenge you to write it in any form that is
easier to speak. Take five minutes by your watch and try to un-
178 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
scramble it. Chances are you will give up, saying, "Let's start all
over."
It seems that the learned gentleman is trying to say:
Our people would never go for supporting one gang of cutthroats
against another gang of cutthroats.
Any speaker using such long sentences might easily stumble over
the wording. The idea expressed in the following sentence is clear
enough, but just try saying it:
"Retail selling has deteriorated to a level where its identity
with basic, constructive salesmanship is virtually lost."
That seems to be going a long way around to say:
"Retail selling just ain't selling."
As you start revising your long sentences, you will cut words
and you will add words. We are considering here how sentences
sound when they are spoken, not how well or how poorly they
are written in your script.
Rudolf Flesch in his book The Art of Plain Talk * gives a
table which shows how the length of sentences affects the ease of
reading. Here it is:
AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH IN WORDS
Very easy .................................................... 8 or less
Easy................................................................. 11
Fairly easy .................................................. 14
Standard ......................................................... 17
Fairly difficult ................................................ 21
Difficult ........................................................ 25
Very difficult ............................................... 29 or more
These numbers refer to the average length of sentences. The
"easy" piece may have some eight -word sentences, and some four-
#
From The Art of Plain Talk by Rudolf Flesch. New York, Harper &
Brothers, 1946. Copyright 1946 by Rudolf Flesch.
SHORTEN THE LONG SENTENCES 179
teen, but the average length is eleven words. I am not certain that
these lengths apply exactly to the spoken sentence but they give
you an idea. When you write a sentence you should be allowed
to use more words because the reader sees the sentence and so has
a chance to study it. Where you speak a sentence he can't stop to
study it, for you are going on. There is another difference. When
you speak you can use the speaker's tricks of gesture, inflection,
emphasis, pause. The table, then, is presented as a reference. If you
are interested in plain talk, get Dr. Flesch's book and study it. It
is interesting, easy to read, and will give you ideas on how to ex-
press your ideas simply and effectively.
Perhaps you have written no long sentences in your speech.
But check to see. It is an easy check to make. Scan the speech.
When you come to a sentence that looks long, check it. If you can
break it up into two or more short sentences, do so.
By handling the clauses of a long sentence as separate sentences
you can get the effect of a number of short sentences strung to-
gether. In speaking of the uses of advertising as a help in war
activities, a speaker said:
Words in print. Words to sell products. To sell war bonds. To re-
cruit Wacs, Waves, Spars. To salvage paper, tin, fats. To get blood
donors. To do a hundred-and-one jobs.
Try speaking that aloud. It goes well, doesn't it? You may say,
"But with short sentences like that you sound like the rat-tat-tat
of a machine gun." That is right, you do. My suggestion is that
you cut the exceptionally long sentences into shorter ones. But
don't have all short sentences. Use a ten-word, then a five-word,
then a seven-word sentence. Mix them up. Put three or four short
sentences together if you want the effect of bang, bang, bang.
But for the best effect throughout the talk, mix the lengths.
In suggesting that you cut down the long sentences, I am not
suggesting that you cut out ideas. No, leave them in, but don't
load them all in one poor sentence. The sentence creaks at the
joints and some of your meaning leaks out. Here is a summary of
the suggestions:
l8 0 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
1. Count the words between periods. If you have over ten,
check to see why.
2. If the long sentence has more than one idea, can you give
each idea a sentence of its own?
3. Are the meaningless phrases necessary? Do they add the
color you feel you need? Do they get in the way of the
meaning?
4. Is the idea expressed clearly? Read the sentence to the ever-
loving "wife and ask her to tell you what you meant. Remem
ber she has been confused by what you said before.
5. Is all of the idea clear? Is each part clear?
6. How about emphasis? What do you want to emphasize about
this idea? Can you do it with the sentence length as is?
7. Can you say the sentence aloud without stumbling over the
wording? Try it. Then try saying it as two sentences.
8. If the audience has to listen intently to get the idea, they
won't like it. Will they have to listen intently to get the
meaning of this sentence?
9. Have you varied the length of the sentences throughout the
script?
10. Count the number of words in all the sentences in the
script and average them out. How does the average compare
with the Rudolf Flesch table on page 178?
11. Remember that you can punctuate the long sentences by
such speaking tricks as gestures, shrugs of the shoulders, and
pauses. If you plan to use such devices, write them into the
script, and practice doing them.
Now that we have cleared up the long sentences, let's get on
with a discussion of the next check.
25.- Trim the Wordage
In making this check you will have fun. And you will learn a
lot too. You're not given to excess wordage, are you? You don't
think so. But wait until you get through this check. Montesquieu
said, "What orators want in depth, they make up for in length."
While you are not trying to be an orator, I hope you can still do
a lot of cutting with profit if your speech is written like most
speeches. Almost anything can be written shorter. Perhaps in this
speech you do not have a gem like that used by the fight announcer
as the battle for the heavyweight title started. He said, "May the
crown of victory descend on the brow of the more worthy par-
ticipant." That is putting "May the best man win" in a full quota
of words. But don't laugh—we all do it. Perhaps you have a num-
ber of such passages in your speech. The average speech writer
adds words to his script in a number of ways. Here are a few:
1. The way you say things—most of us are wasteful of words.
2. The sayings that make you sound like a stuffed shirt.
3. Saying the same thing twice and not for repetition or em
phasis.
4. The use of two words where one will do.
5. The introductions to ideas that don't help express the ideas.
6. The extra lines in the anecdotes.
7. The additions, the etcs. You keep on talking after you stop.
8. The adjectives—the ones that don't register.
9. The mentions of time.
10. The connectives.
181
182 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Let's talk first about the way you throw words around. I have
to assume that you do this, because almost everybody else does. For
instance, you mention your speech. "In this speech I am going to
give tonight. . . ." Why shouldn't that be:
"In my speech tonight . . ."? If you have written: "In my talk
I am going to do. . . ." change it to:
"In my talk. . . ." Not long ago I heard a speaker say: "I am in
the process of reading a book." That could well be: "I am reading
a book."
We use a lot of this kind of language in business. We say: "This
knob enables you to turn the radio on and off."
There are a large number of words that are used in the way "en-
ables" is used in the line above: "This knob allows. . . ." "This
knob permits. . . ."
Very often the statement is stronger when it is made directly.
Let the knob do the job directly and you save words. In writing a
letter, or a description of a machine, we will quite likely write,
"This knob permits. . . ." And so when we write a speech, we
might use the same wording. But if you are trying to cut words, a
word here and a word there adds up.
Speeches seem to be filled with expressions such as: "To get this
job of training retail salesmen done." "He would be a good friend
to have." "Advise a young man what to do to succeed."
Each of those might be written in less words. Thus: "To train
retail salesmen." "He would make a good friend." "Advise a young
man how to succeed."
Save a word here and there and you tighten up the speech. Not
long ago, a man complained to me that he did not have enough time
on the program to tell his story properly. "They gave me ten
minutes and my script runs twelve," he said.
"Do you have your script written?" I asked.
He produced it and we went over it. By trimming excess word-
age we got it down to the time limit. When he made the speech
he finished in nine minutes. After it was over, he admitted, "That
trimming made the speech better. The audience liked it."
Most audiences will like the speech that is direct and to the
TRIM THE WORDAGE 183
point. That excess wordage consumes time, and that time belongs
to the audience. Frequently extra wordage doesn't help, and if it
doesn't help it should be left out.
At times every speaker sounds like a stuffed shirt. Almost
always it is because of words and phrases that he might just as
well have omitted. A speaker says:
"It is axiomatic that individual effort can produce effective re-
sults only if the worker is satisfactorily motivated."
The speaker who mouths a line like that must be a stuffed shirt.
The wording is beautiful. Even I admit that. But it doesn't go well
in a speech. I know, because I listened to it. The same thought could
be expressed simply: "A man works only when he has the urge
to work."
I have taken down many lines such as this: "The next step is to
find out the fundamental reasons and to take steps to correct those
reasons."
That is not so bad as the other, but it can be simplified: "The
next step is to find out why and to do something about it."
You may shed large, salty tears when you change such expres-
sions as: "In the forefront of so many phases of human activity"
to—"Up to his neck in everything." Or—
"From a condition of chronic financial illness to one of abun-
dant prosperity" to—"From loss to profit." Or— "From red to
black."
Yes, you may shed large, salty tears, but you will help the
speech. And the audience will think of you as a regular Joe, the
kind of fellow it likes to do business with.
Just the other day one of my friends said in a speech: "the se-
curement of adequate consumption."
This fellow is regular—there is nothing of the stuffed shirt about
him—until he gets up to make a speech. Then he lets himself go
with material like that quoted above. In that line, a change of one
word would have made the difference. There is nothing wrong
with "adequate consumption." It is that word "securement" that
doesn't belong. Change that to "getting" and the line can be spoken
by anybody.
184 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Usually when you stop to analyze the wording of a phrase that
sounds "stuffed-shirtish" you find that it does n't take much re -
vision to put it in words that any simple person can speak. Here is a
lead line in a talk that illustrates that point:
"With the scarcity of products we have experienced in the past
eight years most retailers have had little trouble in dis posing of the
domestic appliances that were available to them."
Change three or four words in that passage and it would speak
better. Let's try this:
"With the shortage of products in the past eight years, most retail-
ers have had little trouble in selling any home appliance they could
get."
The revision changes four words and leaves another one out. But
it is now in words that anyone can speak. So check the words you
have used —do they make you sound like a stuffed shirt?
Next, how many times have you said the same thing twice?
You may have done it in words of slightly different meanings, but
are those exact meanings apparent to the audience? Here is the
kind of doubles I mean:
cooperation and coordination efficiency and effectiveness
adequately and effectively good and sufficient
authenticity and validity ranting and raving
kith and kin snare and delusion
fictitious or otherwise
At times these doubles become triples. Here are two:
Freely, frankly, and fearlessly
Illuminating, dramatic, and conclusive
Many doubles and triples crop up in speeches. Sometimes that
second word helps, but often it doesn't. Go through the script
and look them over. If they help, leave them in. If not, give them
the blue pencil.
Here is another way of saying things twice. You hear speakers
TRIM THE WORDAGE 185
say: "trained technicians," "creative imagination," "skilled research
men."
Aren't all technicians trained? Isn't all imagination creative?
Aren't all research men more or less skilled? I mention these ex-
amples to the speaker who had used two of them in one session. I
asked him if he thought the two words were needed. He said,
"There is a redundancy there." I looked up "redundancy" in the
dictionary. The definition was "superfluity, excess." That is
what I mean. Such doubles are a habit with the man who uses
them. Whenever he writes the word "technician" he puts the
adjective "trained" before it. That is how he thinks of
technicians. Then too, a technician sounds more important
when you say he is "trained." But we are discussing trimming the
wordage in your speech. This is another way to cut words and
save time.
In our introductions to ideas we use many excess words. Not
long ago I heard a speaker say:
With all sincerity and without fear of contradiction, I can say
that this new advertising campaign gives us more coverage than
any previous campaign.
He could have expressed the same idea by saying:
This advertising gives us more coverage than any previous cam-
paign
Perhaps the worst of this sort of thing is the speaker who
starts:
It is highly gratifying that so many of you have taken advantage
of the opportunity to come to this meeting tonight.
To hear you talk, you mean? It sounds pretty, doesn't it? But
I'm sure that the same thought can be expressed in less words.
Perhaps you need an introduction to your idea. You may need
some words to tie the new idea into what has gone before. If so, try
to make that transition as brief as possible. Few of the introduc-
tions you use will be as wordy as the one above, but most of us have
186 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
a whole repertory of these connectives. Most of them are habit,
too. Here are a few that I have written down as speakers said them:
in this case let us say
as a matter of fact shall we call it
generally speaking now the question is
in general incidentally
it so happens far be it from me
the fact of the matter is to begin with
at the other end of the scale lest you think this too pessimistic
on the other hand it behooves us
in fact in other words
by the same token to summarize
you may not believe this basically
conversely according to the best studies
in my own individual case from a recent study
under these conditions
Now many of those terms are useful to the speaker. Others
could be eliminated with benefit to the speech. I am not suggesting
that you cut out all such connectives, but I suggest that you check
each one. If it helps, leave it stand.
Many of the lines in our anecdotes can be eliminated. We say
such things as:
to insert a slightly humorous note I
can't resist reporting an incident I am
reminded of the story whereupon he
replied asseverated the judge recently
remarked to me couched in language
of the gutter
Each time you hear an anecdote you are quite likely to hear
some such excess language as that above. Most of it is unnecessary.
The anecdote can start without introduction. If you are using it to
make a point, begin the story at the start without any apology or
explanation. This will save wordage.
Words you added on can in many cases be cut out. In Chap. 23
I talked about those "and so forths" that were not specific. Now
TRIM THE WORDAGE 187
let's look at all the additions, specific or not. Let's see if they
are needed. Here are some of the type phrases I mean:
in any way, shape or form
if you please
or for any other reason
the campaign details, including advertising and promotion
or anything else for that matter
as the case may be
if you will
Check over all the "and so forths" in your script, and see how
many of them you can eliminate without taking away from your
meaning.
Adjectives offer a big opportunity for this type of editing. Too
often it is the writer in you puts them in the script. Check every
adjective to see if it is needed, and I would suggest that you cut
out every double. Here are some to illustrate:
two-way stretch high-priority order
semiconscious observer ever-growing menace
double-edged deal drawn -steel construction
outmoded system tri-snap thermostat
heart-warming instances twofold job
grease-laden dirt five-point success story
semidarkened room
The double adjective comes from the writer's desire to crowd
all the meaning he can into a few words. But the double adjective
does not speak well. I have heard men say "drawn steel" when de-
scribing a product and I could not understand them. A speech is
spoken to be understood, and if the listener does not hear the ad-
jective, it might as "well be left out.
You may ask, "But how T about these radio announcers and their
adjectives?" You have me there. The boys doing the commercials
surely give with the adjectives. But remember those commercials
are rehearsed. The announcer goes over them again and again.
He wrorks on his timing, volume, pitch, and inflection, as well as
his voice quality. Even then he sometimes stumbles. I think the
188 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
radio commercials overwork the adjectives, and I would suggest
that you use them sparingly. You might try your voice on these
that I took from speeches:
singular honor pithy story
vital point feigned amazement
immediate copy irrepressible reporter
dangerous parallel material substance
individual initiative altruistic member
eloquent effusion efficacious measures
native wit prime consideration
sporadic effort
As you look over that list you will find adjectives that express
an idea that could not be so well expressed in a number of words.
Adjectives do that. They condense a highly involved thought into
a single word. But in speaking the adjective with the noun you
may lose one word or the other.
There are many adje ctives that sound all right—even in the
examples given. This is perhaps because they are familiar to you.
Saying "tri-snap thermostat" to an audience that knew thermo-
stats might cause no misunderstanding but the same term to a
popular audience might mean nothing. Check all adjectives. They
offer a field for elimination.
We come now to the mentions of time. All are useless. The time
you are mentioning belongs to the audience. Get that point, please.
You say, "In the time at my disposal. . . ." Whose time—theirs,
isn't it? None of these mentions of time helps. And there are so
many of them!
I'm not going to be long on this
to tell it briefly
because of the brevity of time
we have a busy afternoon
I could go on for a long time
I don't have time to cover this t horoughly
this can't be told in ten minutes
here is a quick explanation
briefly, this is it
TRIM THE WORDAGE 189
Cut all of these time mentions, for the audience is tickled pink
when they get a quick explanation, or when you save their time by
doing a twenty-minute speech in ten.
Another field for cutting are those phrases which bring in your
own wishes. Such things as:
I'd like to take this opportunity
If I may be permitted to say
I'd like to tell you
I want to say one more little thing
I'd like to present to you
Let me summarize
Allow me to emphasize
If I may generalize
Let me repeat
May I suggest in passing
I, personally, want to
Why not say it, tell them, present it, repeat it, or make the sug-
gestion without asking permission? The request for permissio n
uses words, and words are time.
A word here and a word there makes a difference in the speak-
ing time, but more difference in the quality of the speech. So let's
get after excess wordage. Let's try to cut without taking away
from the meaning or without losing color. But let's cut. Don't
think that you are unusual because you find a lot to cut out. Not
long ago an associate looked over my shoulder at a speech I was
revising. "Did you write that originally?" he asked, when he saw
the pencil marks on the typewritten copy.
I admitted that I did.
"You're sure tough on your own stuff," he said.
Perhaps so, and you should be tough on your stuff too.
Here is a review of the suggestions for cutting:
1. Check for your use of excess words—don't use ten words
where one will do.
2. Cut out all expressions that make you sound like a stuffed
190 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
shirt. "With your kind permission I will depart from my
prepared remarks."
3. Cut out those words that say the same thing twice: "authen
ticity and validity."
4. Check for those places where you have said the same thing
twice without getting the emphasis or repetition that you
should: "trained technicians."
5. Look over all introductions to ideas. Are they needed in
this case to help your talk? This is one place where we seem
to go overboard in the use of words.
6. Cut the overwordage out of the anecdotes you tell. In
speaking a story you must use more words than in a writ
ten version. But use the right kind of words.
7. Cut all "and so forths" that are not helpful.
8. Look over all adjectives carefully. Do they help, and will
you be able to pronounce them so that the audience will
hear what you say? Cut all double adjectives—most speakers
run the two words together.
9. Mention of time is no help at all. Cut all of them. A speaker
should never mention time in his talk.
10. Check carefully for all excess words. If you need them for
color or timing or emphasis, leave them in. But if they can
be cut, out with them.
26. Let's Check the Big Words
Seven-letter, eight-letter, nine-letter, ten-letter, yes sir, these are
the words you want to cut out. Anything you can say in the five-
dollar word can be said just as well and perhaps more clearly in a
number of smaller words.
When we write a speech we are much like the farmer's boy.
When the father was asked if a year in college had made any
difference in his eldest son, he replied, "Well, he is still a good
hand with the plow, but I notice his language has changed some.
It used to be, 'Whoa, Becky, haw, and git up.' Now when he
comes to the end of the row he says, 'Halt, Rebecca, pivot, and
proceed.' I'm not sure that Becky understands."
The big words are always good for a laugh. Joe, the boy in the
next office says, "This epitomizes. . . ." Before he has finished the
sentence, the boys are off with the razzberry. For Joe isn't that
kind of fellow. And his use of the big word seems an affectation.
You may know the big words. You may know each and every
one of them. But your audience—does it know them? When you
say the big word, one member of the audience turns to his neigh-
bor and asks, "What did he say?" The neighbor shakes his head,
"I don't know."
Last week at a meeting in Buffalo, I asked the man next to me,
"What did he say?"
The fellow replied, "I didn't hear it."
"Then why are you laughing?" I asked.
"It must have been funny," he said. "Everybody else is laugh-
ing."
That's the trouble with audiences. They don't tell you that they
191
1 92 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
don't hear you or don't understand. They sit there acting as if
they do. And that is why you want to make it as easy as possible
for them to understand your speech. What manner of words are
we after on this check?
1. The long words, the words with seven or more letters. They
stand out in the manuscript and are easiest to spot.
2. The unusual words, those words we know, and perhaps use
every day, but that can be improved.
3. The common but difficult to say.
4. The hyphenated words.
5. The familiar but stiff words that can be changed into ones
that are simpler or easier to say.
6. The manufactured words.
7. The long adjectives.
8. The "verys." Let's cut all of them out.
Please remember, I do not claim to be an expert on words, but
I do claim to be an expert on speeches. An expert listener, anyway.
The suggestions I make here come from my notes. As I sit in
meetings listening I make notes of the words that don't sound
well in speeches. The speaker cannot say them nearly so well as
he could a few simpler words that would express the same mean-
ing. I make it a point when I am making my talk "How to Run a
Sales Meeting" at a business conference to list the big words that
other speakers use. Then in my talk I tell the audience of the num-
ber of such words that were used so far that day. Here is a list that
I took down in one meeting:
insatiable purification appalling
ecstasies implementing placating
rehabilitated immemorial temerity
peroration precarious dispersion
meticulous specious respondent
connotation enunciated utilization
motivation dipsomaniac competency
participate sporadic generic
legion prerequisites
LET S CHECK THE BIG WORDS 193
Speakers at business meetings frequently read their speeches, and
a speech that is written will contain such words. Even so, they
don't read aloud well. It makes no difference whether the man is
reading or speaking. Let's see what can be done with the words on
that list—what words can be substituted:
Insatiable can't be satisfied specious ......... plausible
purification ... cleaning respondent . . . . the other guy
appalling............ shocking
connotation . . . . meaning
ecstasies ........... joys enunciated . . . said
implementing .. supporting utilization use
placating............ satisfying
motivation . . . . urge
rehabilitated . . . restored
dipsomaniac . . .drunk
immemorial ... long ago competency ... ability
temerity ......... foolhardiness
participate take part
peroration ......... wind up, finish
sporadic single
precarious.......... uncertain generic of a kind
dispersion.......... scattering
legion a great number
meticulous . . . . careful prerequisite . . . . requirement
Those words I have substituted may not be exact synonyms for
the words spoken. But as I wrote down the words, I wrote beside
it a word that would have brought out the meaning. On some of
these words my choice was little better than the speaker's but
there are some thoughts and ideas that can't be expressed in small
simple words.
Not long ago in looking over a script for a movie the following
words were cut out of the narrator's talk. Each was replaced by
two or more words that had the same meaning and were much
simpler.
placement constitute preventing permanent
facilities utilize functional transition
visualize intrigues persuading unappreciative
advising consult source reveals
structural alternation acquired obstruction
Try your hand at substituting simpler words for the words on
that list. You will find the exercise interesting and stimulating.
194 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
In working with narrators who make the sound tracks for films,
I have found that the words they stumble over are words like
those listed. Give these professional men short, simple words to
say and they will record a script perfectly, and although they can
handle involved words too, they are more likely to make slips.
When the announcer stumbles on a recording, the record has to be
accepted with the mistake, or it has to be cut over. For that reason
a script that has few involved words can save everybody's time.
Probably the best way to illustrate what the elimination of the
large words means is to do some eliminating. Here is a paragraph
from a speech I heard.
The impact of the phrase "postwar planning" on the consciousness
of the marketing executive will not solely be a measure of his
optimism, but perhaps of his foresight as well.
Let's cut all the wo rds that have seven or more letters. The
passage would then read:
The impact of that phrase—postwar planning—on the sales man-
ager will be a measure of his optimism and perhaps of his fore -
sight as well.
We are still stuck with three words that are longer than
seven letters. Let's see what we can do about them:
The impact of that phrase—plans for postwar—on the sales man-
ager will be a measure of his faith and of his ability to look ahead.
Now the passage is down in shorter words. I don't claim
too much for it, but it illustrates my point, and it will speak
better. Here is another that we might work on:
Our purpose is to build a sales program that will sell through the
channel of distribution a sufficient quantity of merchandise to pro-
vide continuous production and continuous employment for the
majority of American workers.
As you look over that passage you find no unusual words.
But let's cut out the seven-letter words:
LET S CHECK THE BIG WORDS 195
Our purpose is to build a sales program that will sell through the
stores enough goods to keep both the factory and the workers on
the job five days per week.
That is taking some liberty with the passage, but it is a liberty
that is based on knowledge of what the speaker meant. His channel
of distribution was retail stores. His full employment meant a
forty-hour week.
Such a revision can be made on most such passages. That one
would have meant the same if it were written thus:
Our objective is a sales program that will keep the factory working
five days per week.
Let's analyze that. If the factory works, the workers work. In
working on the big words, the passage has been cut in length. It
is down to fifteen words now, and the original passage had thirty-
three. As you study your script you will find that eliminating the
big words may help you cut the number of words.
There are times, of course, when the big word is the only one
that will express the thought you want to get over. The other day
in checking a script for a meeting we were eliminating big words
and substituting smaller ones. Somewhere in the discussion my
associates said that the script lacked something. "Yes, it lacks
spontaneity," I said.
He laughed and said, "But we are getting rid of the big words."
I could have said that the script lacked life and laughter and
sparkle. It did lack all those. But when stuck for a word I came
up with one of eleven letters. My line would have been much
better speech material if I had said, "It lacks life and laughter and
sparkle." My diagnosis would have been more nearly correct too.
I am not suggesting the elimination of the big word because of
meaning. Many times the big word will express the meaning better.
I suggest that the big words be dropped because the small words
speak better.
The other night on the radio the hard-boiled father of the girl
said he was going to the dentist. "I have a tooth that hurts ter-
rible," he said.
196 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"Are you going to have it extracted?" asked the young swain
who was courting the daughter.
"Naw, I'm goin' to have it pulled," the father said.
It is that type of clarity you want in your speech, and short
words will help give it to you.
Let's check too for the familiar words that can be changed to
ones that sound better in speeches. I've written a book called
How to Run a Meeting. Time and time again when I'm introduced
as a speaker, the chairman says, "Mr. Hegarty has written several
books, among them one called Hoiu to Conduct a Meeting. To
me there is a lot of difference in those words. I feel that a meet-
ing that is "conducted" is rather stiff and formal. One that's run
might have some life in it. There are many such words. When I
talk about eliminating them and substituting simpler ones, I buy
myself a lot of arguments. There is nothing wrong with the words
themselves for they express the speaker's meaning; even so, the
simpler, more common word makes better speech material.
Here are some of these words and suggested substitutions:
accompany . . go with remote ... far away
accomplished did removes .. takes out, or off
admits ............. says replace ... put back
affirms ............. says reprimand bawl out
appreciable .. many required .. needed
arrival.............. coming resolve ... decide
avails................ profits respond .. answer
ascertain ......... find out return . . . . come back
assists ............ helps retort .... answer
available.......... can be had revise .... change
awaiting.......... waiting for .. , ,. ,
. ° ° seeking ... looking for
receives ........ gets . ., ° ,. ,
, . similar . . . . same kind
refrain ......... hold back
, , surmises .. guesses
recently ........ not long ago °
recognize . . . . know utilize . . . . use
There is another kind of word that speakers like to use. It is
what I call "the unusual" —words that are not heard often enough
LET'S CHECK THE BIG WORD S 197
for listeners to grasp quickly. Here is a list taken from speeches,
with words that might be substituted:
harbored . .. held (idea) naivete .......... . simplicity
pragmatic .. practical specious . . . . . plausible
surmised .. guessed impels .............. . forces
impinges .. bumps macabre . . . . . gruesome
persists .. continues of that era .. . of that
aggregate............. ................... total
The trouble with the words in this list is that the audience may
know them casually, but may not be too familiar with their usage.
You say the word "specious." I know what the word means, but
the meaning doesn't immediately come to me. And so I stop to
think. I don't have time for that in listening to a speech. You
say "plausible" and I get it faster. You say "sounds like the truth—
but isn't" and I have no doubt. Get the idea?
As you study the words in this list you see that some substitutes
are almost as unusual as the originals. You may question some of the
synonyms, but they give more quickly the meaning the speaker
meant to convey. There is nothing wrong with the words used.
They probably express exactly what the writer meant. But note
that I said "writer."
Let's check out the manufactured words. The other night I heard
a speaker say "re-lamping." He was describing a lighting fixture
and the ease of putting a lamp in it. To an audience of men in his
business, the expression would have been easily understood. But
this was a popular audience made up of members of a service club
and their wives. Check all such words.
Occasionally, when you have to use such a word, you might take
the time to explain it. If you don't you may have difficulty making
the audience understand. You might say the manufactured word,
then spell it out. The explanation will be clearer if you hold up a
card with the words printed on it. You should take the trouble
to make sure that your audience understands.
There is a great deal of this type of wording in business talks
198 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
that describe product or plans. Where the name of a special feature
is new, use some method to help the audience understand. If the
plan or policy has a new name, make sure that the name is under-
stood when you mention it.
I have given some attention to adjectives before, but I would
like to put in another word about them. This time I want to men-
tion the seven-letter ones, such as:
primary ....... first specialized ... special
cardinal ...... top radical ......... different
inferior......... not so good essential ........ necessary
consistent .... steady apathetic .... not interested
The first two in the list are used with "objective" in the speech
notes I have taken. Wouldn't it be just as well to say, "our first
objective" or "our number one objective," or "our top objective"?
Usually these adjectives can be changed and the passage given more
force.
I'd suggest that you cut out every "very." That word, too, is
much of a habit. A long time ago I read that bit of advice in a
piece by Alexander Woollcott. Since then I have been trimming
the "verys" out of my scripts. It's strange, but the line always
seems better without it.
There is another group of words that finds favor with speakers.
These words end with "able." Here are some that I noted in
speeches:
sizeable amount .................. why not large?
easily obtainable ................ easy to get
readily conceivable .............. anyone could imagine
inescapable fact .................. we don't run from facts, or do we?
enviable position ................ the top, or wherever it is
foreseeable ......................... not too far off
Now I am going to break your heart. I ask that you cut out all
those passages that you put in the script to show your brilliance
in the expression of ideas. Let's check them with the eyes of the
other fellow. Perhaps you have written some such drivel as "heart-
LETS CHECK THE BIG WORDS 199
warming instances of gracious contact with buyers," or "success-
fully able to override his objections." Look at those two expres-
sions and you can see what you must do with them. They are
beautiful, but a little on the dumb side. And you don't want your
audience to think you are dumb.
That gives you some idea of the kind of words that make bet-
ter speeches—the smaller and simpler the words, the better the
speech material. Let's go over the suggestions again:
1. Try to eliminate the long words. Perhaps you know what
they mean. But they may not be understood.
2. Let's check on the unusual words. Do you always remember
what "unctious" means?
3. Then take care of the known but stiff words. Don't "re
move" your coat—"take it off."
4. Let's dispense with the hyphenated words. Make that "wind
blown hair" either "mussed" or something that the audience
can understand when you pronounce it.
5. Change those familiar but stiff words into simpler words
that are easier to say. "Do" things instead of "accomplishing"
them.
6. Do what you can to make any manufactured words clear,
even if you have to spell them out on a card or blackboard.
7. Watch those long adjectives. Those "essential" words are not
so essential.
8. Cut out every "very." You will find they don't help anyway.
9. Check out most of the words that end in "able." There is
usually a word that is not so stiff that will give you the same
meaning.
27- Throw Out the Cliche
Now let's go after the deadest of deadwood—the cliche. Check
your script for those trite phrases, those hackneyed expressions,
those stereotyped blurbs that roll off the tongue of most speakers
with the greatest of ease. With a snap, too, as if they had the tang
of the olive out of the martini—or the onion if you prefer. Speech-
makers love them. Put your shoulder to the wheel—plan your
work and work your plan—every soldier a potential general—
loyal, enthusiastic, whole -hearted cooperation—analyze, organize,
deputize. . . .
These are the ones. Speeches are full of them. Let's wrap all
of them in heavy paper, tie the bundle securely, and throw it in
the ash can. Why? You say you like them, and you feel the audi-
ence does too. Look, let's be sensible. You are a fat man, and in this
speech you have written, "Like the proverbial stitch in time. . . ."
Now that is brilliant, but the audience will know that if you had
taken a stitch in time you would be wearing a smaller vest. Any
one of those tired expressions can sound just as ridiculous. Perhaps
you want to use the idea, but say it in your own words.
There are other kinds of material that you should look for in
this check. Here are a few:
1. The old stand-bys—the proverbs, the mottoes, the ones that
everybody knows
2. The sad expressions that are a part of your business (Busi
ness talks are full of them.)
3. The stilted, the out-of-date, the expressions left to us by
our grandfathers
200
THROW OUT THE CLICHE 201
4. The popular that has outlived its popularity
5. The clever lines that the audience will sense you did not
originate
6. The pep lines that are designed to send the boys out to do
or die for dear old whatever, the lines that usually give them
a pain.
These are some types of material that should be cut. There are
others, of course, but the ones I mention here will send you on a
quest for all similar ones you may have in your original writing.
Let's analyze the old stand-bys—the ones that everybody knows
and uses. The proverbs, the mottoes, and other such trivia—speech
writers always give them a workout. The following story explains
what they can do for you. A woman out in the country called a
doctor. Her husband had been stricken late at night. When the
doctor arrived, the lady was apologetic. "I am sorry I had to call
you way out here at this time of night, doctor. But I was so wor-
ried."
"Oh, that's okay," the doctor said, "I had to come out this way
to see another patient anyway. That lets me kill two birds with
one stone."
In my talk "How to Run a Meeting" I use five mottoes to illus-
trate the effectiveness of one-syllable words. The five are:
A miss is as good as a mile.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
A new broom sweeps clean.
All's well that ends well.
It is surprising how many times these favorites turn up in speech
material. Not as examples, but as bits of wisdom. The speakers
often refer to that "stitch in time," to the "new broom," to the
"bird in the hand." There are other ways of saying those things,
surely. Many times the thought expressed by the motto seems to
fit exactly. Well, use the thought, but try to use it in your own
words. In your speech you are not trying to be clever. Then why
should you write in a motto except to show that cleverness that
2O2 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
captivates all your friends? Just a little thought given to any of
them will produce a substitute that is more effective, and one that
may be much better than the original.
At the start of this chapter I mentioned this old stand-by, "Plan
your work and work your plan."
It is a clever play on words, isn't it? But I have heard it used
hundreds of times by speakers whose faces lighted up at their own
cleverness as they uttered it.
Twenty years ago I heard it, ten years ago, and again just last
week. Always when I hear that line I wonder about the speaker. I
may have thought of him as the bright-haired boy in his business,
but when I hear him speak this old chestnut, I wonder. Has this
man's reputation been built up by a press agent? Surely there is
some other way to say this same thing. How would he express
that thought in a conversation with a friend? He might say, "First,
you make a plan. Then you work it."
That expresses the same idea, and if the speaker used those words
you would not connect them with the original fluff of cleverness.
These words are his. And they are just as strong as, perhaps stronger
than, the original quotation. My quarrel here is not with the idea
expressed. It is with the manner of expression.
Usually as the chairman introduces you, he puts you on your
feet with a cliche. "Without further ado, I give you Mr. . . ."
But don't carry on in this vein. The audie nce will think better
of you if you restrain yourself. Here are some of these overworked
expressions that I have noted as speakers said them:
can't build on sand
put your shoulder to the wheel
if the shoe fits
one for all, all for one
move to higher ground
each to his best endeavors
house of straw
lick the common enemy
a picture is worth one thousand words (I have heard this figure
quoted at five thousand and ten thousand.)
THROW OUT THE CLICHE 203
out of the depths
lost the touch
give no quarter
no stone unturned
fruit of victory
common cause
pull as a team
while the iron is hot
death and taxes
Damon and Pythias
open your mouth and put your foot in it
squeeze play
dwarfs to insignificance
to make a long story short
every hole in the brook
mess of pottage
ball and chain
it behooves us
These are but a few of the many such expressions that clutter up
speeches. There are millions like them. If you find any of them in
your script, cut them out.
Most of your talks will be business talks, and there is a long list
of what I call "sad business expressions." Here are some from my
notes:
the business we enjoy
private channels
merit your cooperation
mutual cooperation
executing the plan
hard-working committee
important business leaders
expanding economy
period of prosperity
start from scratch
becoming stale
working as a team
show the light, light the way
204 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
demand unfulfilled
performance patterns
management factors
first, second, and third echelons
These are enough to give you an idea of the kind of expressions
I mean. If you have any like them in your speech, see what you can
do about cutting them out.
Then look for the stilted—the expressions that have come down
through the years to us. Let's say you are invited to a lunch at
the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York. The man who is taking
you says, "This ought to be good. They charged ten bucks apiece
for these tickets."
You agree, for ten bucks it should be good. When you get to
the Waldorf, you find yourself in a large ballroom. At one end is
a head table with three tiers. There are a lot of big names at that
table, from business, from government.
As the luncheon starts the room is crowded, every table filled.
There must be at least a thousand people, perhaps more. You
say this is something. And it is—until the chairman starts speaking.
The food is okay, but not worth ten bucks. But you figure that
the hotel gets about five, and the sponsoring association the bal-
ance. Your host is interesting. So you haven't lost anything until
you turn your chair so that you face the head table.
The chairman raps with the gavel. He is an elderly gentleman,
with pince-nez, ruddy complexion, hard collar, and white piping
on his vest. He is the president of the society, or is substituting for
the president. He explains that the mayor was supposed to open
the luncheon and welcome the guests but that "he has been un-
avoidably detained by the pressure of other and more urgent
affairs connected with official business."
He doesn't say what he must be thinking, which is "The mayor
promised to show but didn't. Instead, he sends some fellow who is
third deputy commissioner of this and that, who will now read
the mayor's greeting."
But I am talking about stilted speeches. The gentleman, our
chairman at the luncheon in the Waldorf, will give it to us. But
THROW OUT THE CLICHE 205
everybody else seems to use it too, or almost everybody else. For
example:
the fullest measure
press reports say
a lot of pro and con
afford to be complacent
a full complement of
lend your fullest support
express the preference
with full cognizance
submit to your judgment
instrument of achievement
foundation in justice and righteousness
prolonged era
ample testimony
falls in the same category
striving mightily
afforded an opportunity
for your perusal
prizes will be bestowed
steadily in the vanguard
custom dictates
desirable attributes
has in his possession
desirable ends
the occasion demands
Yes, let's cut all such aged and infirm expressions. With expres-
sions like that you might say, "As the problem becomes more
acute, the solution becomes more urgent." Consider that state-
ment for a second. Speeches are full of such aimless speech. And
there is no reason for it. Most speakers work over their speeches.
Writing them is a chore, a task they worry and fret about. Then
why shouldn't they take the time to show that this work has been
put into the script? When they borrow from the past, they in-
dicate that they have done little thinking about the subject. The use
of such expressions show that the speaker is mentally lazy, that
he can't use his own words to express his thoughts. Certainly you
2O6 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
don't want to give that impression. You want this group to feel
that you are an authority.
Then there are a number of expressions that might be called a
part of the slang of the day. During the late war the expression
"Get there firstest with the mostest" was common in speeches. It
was expressive. It was what we wanted our side to do. And so it
was good speech material at the time. But speakers still use it. There
are many such expressions, for instance:
on the beam up the creek
hitting on all six looking like a million
cooking with gas singing in the rain
eating out of my hand shooting the works
beating around the bush shooting fish in a barrel
too little, too late crying like a baby
the world is your oyster
These are some of the expressions I have heard in speeches in
the last couple of years. So look for them in your script and cut
them ruthlessly.
There is another kind of expression that you should leave
alone. This is what I call the "clever play on words." It includes
these gems, which I have noted from talks:
give rope to hope aspire, then
perspire battle, but don't
prattle Utopia lies in the first
letter
The ideas expressed are good. But they are expressed too cleverly.
If you want to use them as they are written, attribute them to some-
one else and build a story around them. The line, "give rope to
hope" might be the words of some Negro preacher you knew;
the second, "aspire, then perspire" to a sales manager who once was
your boss; the other, "battle, but don't prattle" to your old army
sergeant. But don't use them as they are here. A speaker who says
those things can't help giving the impression that he is a stuffed shirt.
If this talk is to be a pep talk, try to avoid the lines that I call
"the boss's friends." These are the lines that give the listener the
T HROW OUT THE CLICHE 207
advice on how to succeed. They are the little cousins of the all-
time favorite, "Plan your work and work your plan." Here are
some that I have noted:
The wages of idleness is demotion.
The fellow who feels above his job will always have others above
him.
Let mules do the kicking.
To get—give.
There is a difference between living and being alive.
Use your shoes or let someone else fill them.
Don't give up—buck up.
Success is always a conquest.
Work never hurt anybody—it has helped a large number.
It is uphill to the top.
I don't have any quarrel with pep talks. They are needed. There
comes a time when the club, the employees, or any group needs the
needling that only a pep talk can give. But if you are the one
selected to give the pep talk, try to forego the worn and thread-
bare. Use the ideas in these mottoes, proverbs, and snappy sayings,
but put them into your own words. By using your own words, you
will be more convincing. You will make the audience feel that
you believe.
In addition, I am sure that you can do better. Think a "while about
any of these expressions and you will come up with a thought that
is more in line with what you want to say. Use any of the old, and
the audience is certain to think of you as a stuffed shirt, or a man
with a low-speaking I.Q. Many times I have come away from a
meeting with that feeling about a speaker. And I will bet that if
I knew the man well, he wouldn't be the man his speech made him
out to be.
Once after listening to the speech of the chairman of the board
of a big food distributing company, I met a friend in the hall out-
side the meeting room. "It was a great speech," my friend said.
I nodded, "But what did he say?" I asked.
My friend looked at me for a few seconds, then asked, "Didn't
you think it was a good speech?"
2O8 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
I didn't give an inch. "What did he say?" I repeated.
My friend thought for a minute. Then he admitted, "Ed, I can't
think of a thing he said."
Now that was exactly the kind of speech the man had given.
He had said nothing but he had said it beautifully. His speech was
so filled with the charred chestnuts that a man listening and not
thinking about what was being said might have thought the speaker
was doing a good job. However, a fellow who sat there trying
to get something out of the conference was completely disap-
pointed.
I knew a number of men that worked for this food company, so
I asked one of them, "What kind of fellow is this chairman of
yours?"
"He's a regular fellow, Ed. Why do you ask?"
"I heard him make a speech," I explained.
My friend laughed. "You wouldn't know it was the same guy,"
he said. "He is not a very good speaker."
Now there wasn't anything wrong about the man's speaking.
It was his material and the way it was written. I got the impression
that he was a stuffed shirt. I felt that he didn't have a high opinion
of his audience for he was giving out blue sky and eyewash, pure
and unadulterated. Perhaps he was stuck with the talk. Perhaps he
did not want to talk to the group. If so, he should have refused the
invitation. For the company that man headed sold something to
every person in the room. And wouldn't it be logical for the audi-
ence to assume that his products might be just as outmoded as his
script?
Keep your talk up to today. Your purpose is to give the group
some news, to persuade them to follow your example, to sell them
on an idea. Perhaps you have one, or all three, of those objectives.
But no matter what your purpose, moth-eaten expressions won't
help. Every example I have given in this chapter has been said be-
fore, by somebody. Almost by everybody. So why should you
say, "Me, too?" There is no reason why you should. You know
your stuff, don't you? Okay, then talk as if you do. Use ideas that
THROW OUT THE CLICHE 209
go back to the year one, if you want to use such ideas. But use them
in your words. Let the audience know that you are doing the
talking. These are your ideas. Perhaps somebody had these ideas
before and expressed them. But you are having them now. So
out with the old and on with the new.
I have one more persuasive touch to add to this plea. Next time
you hear a speaker get off one of these chestnuts, watch his face as
he utters his killer-diller. Note how it lights up as he makes the
crack. It is as if a great idea had just struck him. Something big—
something colossal—and he is sharing—sharing his big idea with
little old you. Why, you, too, should feel the thrill. But instead, it
is pain you feel. No, there is nothing wrong with you.
Yes, let's leave the cliche to the other speakers. We—you and I
—we use our own words.
I hope this gives you the idea. Get out your pencil and start
revising. Here are the suggestions in brief:
1. Cut the old stand-bys—the mottoes, the proverbs, the epi
grams, and other such expressions that everybody knows.
2. See if you can get along without those overworked expres
sions that are a part of your business and so a part of every
business talk.
3. Then look for the stilted, the out-of-date, the words and
phrases that went well in grandpa's day. Use the ideas but
slant them at today.
4. Now look over your popular expressions. A lot of persons
today don't know what you mean by "twenty-three, ski-
doo."
5. Avoid lifting that clever line verbatim from a toastmaster's
handbook or a speaker's helper. Lift the idea, but put the
thought in your words.
6. If you have any lines that are designed to inspire the group,
make sure that they are in your own words.
7. Remember that using any material of the type discussed
stamps you as being mentally lazy. You don't want that.
210 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
8. Let's say you want to use the idea expressed in a motto, a
proverb, or an epigram. Well, study the idea for a few min-
utes and come up with a way of saying the same thing in your
words. Your way will be better speech material.
One thing about the speaker who is afflicted with the cliche is
this—he would be the first to condemn its use. Most of us do not
realize how we sound when we speak before an audience. It is easy
to write the cliche into the script. It isn't so easy to speak it and
make it sound real. So throw out all of the ancient and out-dated
blurbs. They won't help you make friends.
28. Are You Using Questions?
How many questions have you sprinkled through your script?
You should have them. The question can help. There is no need to
express every idea in a statement. Statement, statement, statement
gets monotonous. A question now and then will add zest. Let's
take a series of three statements to illustrate. Suppose I say to you:
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. It has everything to
make it the best vacuum cleaner. It has looks, performance, ease of
use—everything the user asks for.
That is a string of statements. If I made them before an audience
of salesmen that sell cleaners, I might get some argument. Let's
say I believe them. I feel that every word is true. I am so con-
vinced of what I say that my manner carries conviction. Let's say
I have all of that. Is my paragraph any better when I sprinkle a
question or two through it?
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. Why do I say that?
Well, it has everything to make it the best vacuum cleaner. It has
looks, performance, ease of use—what else can a user ask for?
I have added two questions and the paragraph is improved. Now
it will speak better. For with those questions I have done two things.
I have emphasized a statement that seemed too strong. I didn't
weaken the statement, I strengthened it. And I have brought the
audience into the discussion.
Here is how you can use the question in your script:
1. You can use the question to repeat an important point.
2. You can use it to emphasize a statement that needs emphasis.
211
212 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
3. The question varies the pace. You have made a number of
statements. You change the formula by asking a question.
4. A question can bring the audience into the discussion.
5. A series of questions can tell you which arguments to hit
hardest.
6. A question can tell you how you are doing by observing audi
ence reaction.
There are a number of types of question you can use. First, there
is the probing question. It is the kind that the district attorney
fires at the witness. "Where were you on the night of March 15th?"
That would make a good line in a speech. Although the probing
question in the speech might be closer to, "How much income
tax did you pay last year?" The probing question can get the mem-
ber of the audience thinking of his own answer to such a question.
Second, there is the leading question. This one is the kind the
salesperson in the store asks. "Would you believe that this suit was
marked down from $95?" Your answer to that leads you into a
discussion of the suit. In a speech that question might be, "Would
you believe that these same politicians are trying to put over that
same swindle on you?" The question leads you to agreeing that it
is a swindle, and that the politicians are behind it.
Third, there is the committing question. It gets the audience to
agree with something. It might be, "Isn't that what we should do?"
When a speaker asks a question like that, heads bob up and down
all over the house. The listeners are agreeing that it is what they
should do.
Fourth, there is the question that inspires action. You ask the
audience whether they will do something tonight, or tomorrow;
whether they will do it by mail or telephone.
Fifth, there is the hypothetical question. This one sets up an as-
sumption for the purpose of argument. You say, "If you owned
fifteen houses for rental, what would be your opinion on this?"
Since you don't own one house, this question is hypothetical. Many
times the speaker uses such a question to make his point.
There are other types of question that can be used, of course.
ARE YOU USING QUESTIONS? 213
But these five show the possibilities. Now let's discuss their
usage. You can use the question for repetition. One way to
do this is to repeat the question in slightly different words.
Here is a passage taken from a speech to a business group:
What happens when the public is uninformed? What happens
when the public does not know both sides of the story on im-
portant issues? What happens when industry neglects to give the
people an opportunity to form an intelligent opinion? Here is an
example.
If the speaker had handled this part of his speech with
statements, this is about how it would sound:
The public should be informed. It should know both sides of the
story on important issues. Industry should give the people an op-
portunity to form an intelligent opinion. Here is an example of
what happens when the public is not informed.
We still have the repetition, but we don't get the same
effect we got with the series of questions. The technique of
using a series of questions to get repetition is used by most
good speakers. If you want repetition of an idea, the question
is a useful and effective device.
There is another way that the question can be used for
repetition. Let's take the statement on the vacuum cleaner as
an example:
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. Now why do I say
this is the best vacuum cleaner on the market? I wouldn't make a
statement like that if I didn't believe it, would I? I wouldn't make
it if I didn't think I could prove it, would I?
Here my questions repeat the statement over and over.
They give the repetition, and they add naturalness to the
talk. As three statements, those thoughts would be
expressed:
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. I believe that it is.
I think I can prove that it is.
If I made these three statements, my audience would sit
back and say, "Okay, Jack, prove it." When I use the
questions, they
214 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
still want me to prove it, but since I have asked their opinion
with those questions, they won't be quite so difficult to
convince.
The question can be used to emphasize a statement. Let's
take the original statement on the vacuum cleaner and see
what the question treatment can do to emphasize the points.
Here is the statement:
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. It has everything
to make it the best vacuum cleaner. It has looks, performance, ease
of use—everything the user asks for.
Now let's see what can be done with questions:
This is the best vacuum cleaner on the market. It has looks, doesn't
it? It gives better performance, doesn't it? It is easier to use, isn't
it? Isn't that everything the user asks for? Then why isn't it the
best vacuum cleaner on the market?
There are perhaps too many questions in that paragraph,
but it illustrates the point. By using the questions, you
pound home the reasons why your original statement was
right.
One common way to lend emphasis is in the question "Do
you gentlemen realize . . . ?"
In the dotted space you give the startling bit of
information that is supposed to astound those assembled.
Many times a question can be used to emphasize such a
point, whe reas a statement might go unnoticed.
Not long ago I heard a speaker tell a story about a sales
manager. This sales manager was complaining about his
salesmen. He said the salesmen were lousy. He admitted
that he had hired the men, he had trained them, but still
they did not work and produce as they should. He threw all
the blame on his salesmen, none on himself.
Later, I heard another speaker tell the same story of this
sales manager, but this is how he did it:
This sales manager said his salesmen were lousy. I
asked him, "Who hired them?" He said, "I did."
ARE YOU USING QUESTIONS? 215
"Who trained them?" I went on.
"I did."
"Then, who's lousy?"
Through the use of three questions the facts had been
pointed up. Many anecdotes can be built up in the same way.
If your anecdote is too short but it makes a good point, add
a few questions to build it up.
You can use the question to vary the pace. Let's assume the
paragraph is made up wholly of statements. Why not change
one of those statements to a question? Suppose your script
reads:
He blames the product, he blames the policies, the advertising,
the dealers. Never, not for one minute, does he think of blaming
himself.
Let's change the last statement to a question:
He blames the product, he blames the policies, the advertising, the
dealers. Why doesn't he blame himself?
That question gives the speaker a chance to vary his
tempo. He speaks—products—policies—advertising—
dealers—rapidly— bang, bang, bang. Then we see him
pause. He raises his hands. He asks, "Why doesn't he blame
himself?" It makes good speech material.
This variety can be had in a number of ways. If you have
two long statements, put a short question between them.
Make the statement in the long sentence, ask your short
question, then answer your question with the second long
statement. For example:
Too many salesmen are inclined to judge the buying power of a
prospect by their own. Does that make sense? It doesn't if the sales -
man happens to be a bit bent financially at the time.
That shows how the question can be used to break up two
long statements. As originally written, the two statements
read:
Too many salesmen measure the prospect's buying power by their
own. It is particularly disastrous if the salesman might be a bit
bent financially at the time.
2l6 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
The question adds variety and picks it up considerably, doesn't it?
Your question brings the audience into the discussion. Let's say
you have been talking for a number of minutes. Now you ask a
question that you want the audience to answer. Immediately the
members of the group who have been half awake snap to atten-
tion. "What did he ask?" they say.
The question you insert in your talk does not always have that
effect, but it does ask for the opinion of the audience. If I am in
that audience I feel you are asking me the question. I am flattered.
You are no ordinary speaker shouting at me. You are a sensible
fellow. You want my opinion. This is interesting.
Your questions bring me into the act. And remember this, every
member of that audience wants to get into the act. Many times
when I have asked a question, I have had an answer shouted to me.
The answer was not expected. If I had made that same point in a
statement, no brother would have shouted, "Amen" or "Halle -
lujah" or "You tell 'em." Statements don't ask for that kind of
response. But questions do. If you learn to use the question skill-
fully, each member of the audience will feel that you are speaking
directly to him.
Your questions should be your best indication of the interest
of your audience. With a question or two you can find out which
of your arguments should be stressed.
If I walk into a hardware store and tell the man I want a saw, he
asks, "What kind of saw?"
I say, "Oh, a regular saw."
He asks, "A handsaw?"
I nod.
Now he knows what I want. But if he is good at his trade, he
might further ask, "What do you want to cut with it?"
When I tell him, he knows exactly what kind of saw to show me.
You are in much the same position as the hardware man when
you rise before an audience. Perhaps this project of yours is im-
portant to them. Perhaps you have ten reasons why it is important
to them. But while the ten may be equally good to you, that is not
true with your audience. Some of those points won't appeal to
ARE YOU USING QUESTIONS? 217
them at all. With a few questions you can determine which ones
arouse interest. When you ask a question that strikes a spark, you
can hit that point hard. Lay off the points that seem to have no
meaning. Give the others your time and emphasis.
It is well if you can determine this interest before you start to
write your talk. Many times that is not possible. After you have
given the talk once you will have a better idea of what interests
the group. The questions you use during the talk will help you de-
termine that interest.
When you write in the question, you will need some method of
getting your question answered. Let's say you have written:
These tirades against the American free-enterprise system must
be answered. Now why do I say that?
You have asked your question, haven't you? Somebody has to
answer it. Usually that somebody is you. How will you do it? One
way is this:
These tirades against the American free-enterprise system must
be answered. Now, why do I say that? Well. . . .
That gets you off the hook, doesn't it? But you need more than
one device. You can't use "well" all through the talk. Another
scheme is to use the anecdote:
These tirades against the American free-enterprise system must be
answered. Now why do I say that? The other day, a fellow in
Philadelphia answered that question. . . .
Again you are on your way. You can also use all the other
interest-building devices that have been covered in this book. You
can answer your question with a bit of news out of today's news-
paper. It might be out of an editorial. You might use a bit of con-
versation. You might have one of the audience shout the answer
to you. In that case you would act as if the answer were a spon-
taneous contribution from the member. You would pause, smile
at the helper, raise your right hand, point your finger at the man
and say, "Mister, you hit the jackpot on that one."
2l8 . HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
I find in writing scripts I am inclined to use the "well" technique
too often in answering my questions. When I go back to revise
the script, I change to one of the other devices. That is what I
advise you to do. Vary the introduction to your answer in as many
ways as you can. The use of one device over and over may get mo-
notonous.
There are a number of reasons why it is good speech technique
to change some of the statements in your script to questions. Try a
question per paragraph and see how it goes. That may be too
many, but try it and see. Make each of the questions short. Don't
use the long question. It may be too involved for the listener to
grasp. The short and snappy ones are the best. But put in your
questions. They improve the speech.
Let's review some of the objectives of your questions:
1. Use the question to get repetition of an important point. Use
the same idea a number of times in questions with different
wording. Use a statement of the point, then a question.
2. Use the question to emphasize a point that you want to em
phasize. It is the old plan of the interlocutor in the minstrel
show. The end man asks a question. The interlocutor repeats
the question. Thus the question is emphasized in the minds of
the audience.
3. The question can vary the pace. You have made a number of
statements. Now put the next point in the form of a question.
4. The question always brings the audience into the discussion.
When you ask a question you ask the opinion of the members
of the group.
5. A question can determine the interest of the audience in the
point under discussion. Ask a question and then examine the
faces out front. The expressions on the faces will tell you
whether or not the point is of any interest to the group.
6. The question will tell you how you are doing. Ask a ques
tion and watch those faces for a response. The expressions will
tell you how you stand.
29 Other Checks You Might Make
There are many other checks you might make on the manuscript
for your speech. Here are a few:
DOES IT RING TRUE?
If you listen to the radio announcer, you will know what I mean
by this check. He gives his all to the commercial for the laundry
soap. If it is half as good as he says it is, the soap will banish the
work of washday. But somehow his glowing words leave you
cold. You tell yourself, "This guy gets paid for saying this." Have
you anything in your script that might bring a similar thought to
the listener? Do you claim too much? Perhaps it is the truth, backed
by laboratory research, the whole truth, and nothing else. But if
the audience doesn't believe it, what then, little man?
Is IT IN CHARACTER?
If you are the boss, does this sound like the boss? If you repre-
sent an organization, does your script do a good job of repre-
senting the organization? Perhaps you could tell the story about
the elephants when you are representing yourself. But can you tell
it when you are representing your company or your society?
DOES IT DO ITS JOB?
Back in Chap. 2 you were advised to write a synopsis. It might
be a good idea to check back to that synopsis and see how close
your finished script comes to it. Perhaps in the writing you have
shifted objectives. That is okay, but try to look at this opus as an
outsider would. Does it do its job?
219
2 20 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
ARE THE HIGH POINTS SPOTTED RIGHT?
In your speech you have a number of high points—stories, ges-
tures, demonstrations, exhibits. Are they all bunched in the early
part of the speech? That is the usual thing. They should be spotted
throughout the script so that something to hold interest is always
just ahead. If you have the high points bunched, do some shuffling.
DOES IT BUILD UP TO THE END?
Most speeches do not build up as they go along. They start off
on a high note and then gradually lose steam. By writing the end
first you have assured yourself of a good ending. But how do you
build up to that end? The material between the start and the end
should build up. Your check may call for a rearrangement, but it is
a rearrangement that will pay off in audience interest.
HAVE YOU TESTED THE MATERIAL?
Speeches are made up of bits of material—a story here, some
gossip there, a bit of news, and what not. While it might be a
job to test out the entire speech, it is easy to test parts of it. You
can do it in conversation with your wife, with associates in the
office. You can have the hired help listen to it. You might even
record it on a record, or on wire or tape, play it back, and see how
it sounds. Since you have written the speech in units you might
test out one of the units as a five-minute speech before your service
club. Any testing you can do will give you practice, and it can help
the finished result.
Check and check and check—that is one of the secrets of the
good speech. If you are not satisfied with one part, keep working
on it to see what can be done. Usually, no matter how deadly the
subject, you can put life and interest into it if you are willing to
put in the licks. So put in that time, that extra work. Make your
speech as good as you can.
30. It Isn't Easy, Mister
It isn't easy to write a speech. You hear a good speech and you are
inclined to say, "The man is an excellent talker." Perhaps he is. But
often that same speaker without his script would have been only
fair, perhaps not even good. The script makes the speech, I claim.
And the good speech, the one that is alive, is not so much genius
on the platform as it is hard work on the script.
As you can see from the chapters in this book, there is much
planning involved in writing a speech. After the planning comes
the writing and after that the checking. These are the three stages
that every speech should go through. The more carefully they are
put through that wringer, the better results you will have.
Oh, of course, you can make a speech without going through
all this routine. I once had a boss who prided himself on the fact
that he could get up without preparation and make a good talk.
Time and again I have seen him do it, and he was always good.
He was an idea man, that fellow. When he made one of these
speeches unprepared, he would stumble along for a time and
then he would light into this idea of his. True he hadn't prepa red
for the speech, but he had given that idea a lot of thought. I be-
lieve he was kidding himself when he said he never prepared. He
didn't feel that the thinking he did about his idea was speech
preparation. But in that thinking he had gone through almost all
of the processes that are recommended here for speech preparation.
Perhaps his plan was not put on paper, it may be that he never
wrote out the presentation, or checked it point by point. But he
went through all those processes in his thinking about the speech.
Now that man was different. Most of us are not so gifted. We
221
222 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
do things the hard way. To get our speech right we have to put
one idea alongside another and then shuffle and reshuffle until we
have the best effect. We have to plan, to write, and to check. I
hope that the ideas presented here will be helpful.
At the start I said that this was not to be a book on how to make
a speech. It isn't—it is all on the writing. But in giving this well-
written speech of yours please talk a bit louder than you think
necessary, put some enthusiasm into your voice, use some gestures
to show that you are alive. Then, too, watch the audience. At the
first sign of fatigue, do something. This may be the point to bring
up the next story. But don't ignore that first yawn. Look out for
your nervous habits, don't fumble with your spectacles or your
clothes. Get up on a platform above the audience if you can. They
want to see you.
Speaking the piece is the easy part. You will find a number of
good books on how to make a speech. But if you have planned it
according to these suggestions, written it in line with these direc-
tions, and made the checks listed, then your audience is in for a
good speech. It will be one that they will enjoy hearing. When
it is finished some of the brothers will come up and say, "That
was good, Mister." And you will thrill to the greatest satisfaction
that a speaker can have. You will know they mean it.
Index
Connectives, 186
Conversation, 88, 176
A Courtesy of audience, 46
Cutting length of script, 61
D
"Able," words ending in, 198
Additions, 170
Dangling phrases, 56 Data,
Adjectives, 54, 187, 198 "
handling of, 128 Dates,
And so forths," 186
165 Definition, 4
Anecdotes, 81, 154, 107, 186
Demonstration, 127
Audience appeal, 35
Dialogue, 90 Dick Tracy,
Audience interest, 28, 152
29 Dictionary, use of, 48
Audience participation, 134
Direct talk, 58, 182
"Automatic," meanings of, 166
Directions, stage, 123
Doubles, 184
B
Dramatizations, 120
Big names, 105 124
Build-up of anecdotes, 92
Burg, Cy, 112
Business associates, speeches by,
talks by, 104
Buying reasons, 32
E
C
Editing, 189
"Efficiency," 166
Cartoons, use of, 131
Elements of the speech, 64, 141
Cato, 109
Ending of the speech, 71, 78
Chairman's introduction, 104
Explanations, 161
Characters in anecdotes, 219
Charts, 174
Checks on the script, 140
Clarity, 155
F
Cliche, 197
Clothes as speech material, 118
Family, use of, 104, 145
Figures, handling of, 130, 143
223
224 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
"Finally," use of, 78
Flesch, Rudolf, 178 K
Formula, for ending, 78
for presentation, 16 Kids as speech material, 104, 114
for speech unit, 63
L
for synopsis, 4
Fresh air, 102
Fumbling, 7
Fund workers' appeals, 168
Language, specific, 162
G statesman's, 177
stilted, 204
stuffed-shirt, 183, 204
trade jargon, 161
written vs. spoken, 50
Gallup polls, 99 Law of averages,
Gestures, 144 168 Layout of speech, 11
Gossip, handling of, 93 Length of speech, 62
Graphic presentations, 131 Listening to speeches, 180
Group criticism, 44 Little people, mention of, 109
Locales, 144
H
M
Headlines, 96
Henry Grady Hotel, 169 Material (see Speech material)
Home, as speech material, 118 Meaning of words, 41
Hooper ratings, 99 Mention of names, 108
Humorous stories, 8 Metal objects, 167
Method of speaking, 146
Morning's newspaper, 96, 102
I
Mottoes, 200
Movie scripts, 193
Ideas for material, 170
"In conclusion," use of, 78
N
Indian anecdote, 125
Informative labels, 126
Names of persons, 144
Ingredients, 166
Narratives, 194
Instructions to speaker, 170
Naturalness, 41
Introduction, chairman's, 104
Neckties as speech material, 111,
of speaker, 45
120
Negative words, 55
J Neighbors as material, 104
News, 95 Newspaper clippings,
Jury duty, 43 127
INDEX 225
Newsweek, 101 Script, 32
Notes, 60 Sentence length, 177-180
O Sentences, 171
Sermon, 86
Office as speech material, 118 P Simple speech, 60
Singing, 127
Peddler's formula, 16 Slogans, 207
Smile, 79
Peeves of audience, 101
Sound-film script, 52
People as material, 104
Specific language, 162
Personalities, 94
Speech, elements of, 64, 141
Pets as material, 114
ending of, 71, 78
Places, 165
layout of, n
Plan of presentation, 16, 17, 19, 20, 26
length of, 62
Police testimony, 43
purpose of, 4
Politician's speech, 177
reading of, 193
Possessions as material, 111
sample, 20, 65
Practice, 123
simple, 60
Projects as material, 118
units of (see Units)
Pronunciation, 41
windup of, 75
Proverbs, 200
Speech material, clothes, 118
Purpose of speech, 4
family, 104, 145
home, 118
Q
ideas for, 170
kids, 104, 114
Questions, use of, 211
necktie, 111, 120
Quotes, use of, 47
neighbors, 104
office, 118
R
people, 104
pets, 114
Radio commercial, 52
possessions, 111
Reading of speeches, 193
projects, 118
Recorder, use of, 43
quotes, 47
Red Cross, 168
research for, 94
Rehearsal, 45, 123
vitamins, 32
Repetition, 184
wife, 104
Research for material, 94
Speeches, by business associates, 104,
124
S
fund workers', 168
listening to, 180
simple, 60
Spoken vs. written language, 50
Salesman, 34
Statesman's language, 177
Sample speech, 20, 65
226 HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH
Statistics, handling of, 128 "Very," 198
Stilted speech, 204 Vining, Sam, 123
Stories, 81, 154 Vitamins as material, 32
Stuffed-shirt language, 183, 204
Subject headings, 8
W
Summation, sample, 8, 77
Sunday vocabulary, 42
"We's," 149
Synopsis, 4, 6
Wife as material, 104
Windup of speech, 75
T
Wordage, 181
Technical film, 5 Words, with "able" ending, 198
Technical subjects, 37 of definite meaning, 170
Technical words, 160 of doubtful meaning, 156
Tell-all tags, 126 excess, 183
Testing, 220 indicating size of, 53, 54
Thomas, Lowell, 52 long, 191-199
Time, mention of, 101, 188 manufactured, 197
saving of, 60 meaning of, 41
Tired expressions, 209 negative, 55
Trade jargon, 161 short, 48
Training of salesmen, 63 spoken, 55
Triples, 184 technical, 160
written, 57
U your own, 41
"Write it to Joe," 38
Written versus spoken language,
Units, organization of, 63
sample, 6$ 50
writing in, 60
Y
V
Variety, 7, 141 Your wishes, 189
Verse, 127 Your words, 41